ARRGGH!
This is why I did not want to talk about the likes of "2nd chance" so enthusiastically!
So Day 2 of the " "2nd chance" pops into town on business extravaganza" weekend continues...anxiously! So this day picks up rather late in the evening resulting in an, "out of control" drunken state (can we say EMBARASSING) after hanging around Beale (St.) for an hour or so…maybe e'en 2. Concluding w/ in the inevitable…back to the tel (he was trying to be a gentleman) to chill out for a few.
Of course, as Bets would say, "Queen Fornicator" <--that's me, could not control her hormones and forced herself upon "2nd chance" w/o hesitation. Now I will say he did try to fight me off, but I just wasn't having it…come on now… "No means YES and YES means YES!" So after much ado he caved…
For once I don't want to share the intimate details of the evening w/myself let 'lone anyone else…b/c that shit was AWFUL and I'm sad about it (no like really I am, not being an asshole either)…I think it was partially my fault…I know I can be an even bigger bitch when I don't get what I want when I want + alcohol=RUDE, CRASS, and Out of Control on top of the bitchiness!
However, does that excuse the fact that sex was bad?! Was that all my imagination?! Was I that drunk?! Did I kill the mood?! Am I too ruff?! Do I have intimacy issues?! Do we lack sexual chemistry?! Did he really NOT want to have sex w/me?! Bottom line: Am I the prollum?! ME?! Hells no…couldn't be...more like the answer bitches! Bad sex is just bad sex man! I mean that shit was like the worst. Actually I have never really had bad sex per say, so I'm not really basing this on much. However I know there is a standard and that shit was WAAAAAAY below par!
Here's the dilemma…under normal circumstances I would have copped a bitch fit, hopped up and bounced out…BUT (yeah all caps)…I like him! Like I was saying before, the "I like you" feeling does not come along often in my life so I'm trying to take advantage while I still can (see... "Go me" trying to do better…YAY!) Aight now, after trying to take control of a quickly dwindling evening (which still failed btw) I still left I just tried to remain a little less rude, and be a little more considerate. Next day…I didn't want to chat like regular…he didn't call so I was fine w/that, the text game worked well. Today however I know a phone call will be involved. I will stubbornly apologize for my behavior and attempt to address the other matter w/caution. I am hoping he mentions it first so that I won't continue to seem like the over-bearing, control freak that I am. Hopefully it goes well, we agree, and move on.
While I try to put that horrendous experience out of mind, I will still be thinking "but is the sex bad though" I mean b/c I'm just saying …Iunno…Iun just know…come on nay…let's be REAL…like or no like...bad sex is bad sex man...I mean I'm just saying… guess we shall see...umph!
Good luck w/that shit, Shanette!-lol
And on that note…I'm out…
BTW I soooo cannot believe I was trying to have relations w/a new guy w/o getting the self-beautification rituals (mani/pedi, waxing, etc…come on SHANETTE…get it together girl…you better hope this ni99a still talking to you while you talking shit about bad sex, hell!)
POB!
~S. Parks
Monday, April 30, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
ICE COLD!!!
(shakes head)...man this scene looks all too familiar...good guy, great girl, best date...don't fall for it Shanette you can't fall for it!
Okay so here's the deal..."2nd chance" came into town this weekend.We hung out all evening pretty much and I must say it has been a really LONG time since I have had like a real date and it actually went well. I was like so comfortable with him and this was really our first time hanging out since we met several months ago. I keep wanting to say he's perfect but I know it’s too soon to say such things, I have made that mistake before...and what's the point of making the mistakes if I'm not learning anything.
Anyways...we had sushi, hung out downtown, had some coffee, and chilled @ the tel...that was a wrap. I loved the fact that there was no pressure. I love how funny he is, and how he already knows how to "deal" w/me (b/c we know I'm a tuff cookie). I like how he is just the right balance of touchy feely. I like how he takes charge but lets me think I'm ultimately still running the show (yes I need that control). I like how he's a gentleman but not so much that I want to barf. I like how when we aren't talking, it’s okay silence not that awkward silence that causes you to think and say something dumb or embarrassing. I like how he doesn't take me too seriously which in turn helps me not to take me too seriously. Oh gosh I sound so "white girl" movie-ish...don't fall for it, you can't fall for it! ICE COLD!!!
"I am afraid b/c I have no fear" (Gnarls B. said that btw). I am just that comfortable with him and I don't want to talk about it too much w/my friends (as if I would do that anyway) b/c I just don't want to make a bigger deal about it than it is. You know it’s hard to stay in that "lets get to know each other" phase. I kinda wanna stay here for as long as I can b/c things are going so well. I know if I try to bring sex into the picture that it will only complicate things. We like haven't even really talked about sex that much and I'm okay w/that...surprisingly! For some reason, I'm not real anxious as I would be under normal circumstances, to physically attack him...I think that means I REALLY like him...WOWZER! (Yeah I like I just drew that conclusion) I have not "liked" anyone like this in a really long time! Its fun! (Don’t fall for it, you can't fall for it!) ICE COLD!!!
AAARRRGHHHH!!! He's just soooo great I swear, he's like kinda not my type *whatever that is* and that's what makes it so funny. I usually like more of the "rougher edge" guy and he's really far from that. I mean he's not a punk or anything but he's just not my regular style. He's more laid back, and he doesn't let "me" get to him (which I could see being a prollum later but we won't discuss that now). He's also REAL lame, lol. I am so anti-lame guy, like really...I don’t like them @ all...but he's a cool lame kinda like Ye (that's Kanye West for all you non hip-hoppers out there), and y'all know I lubs Ye...he's so funny, so genius, so the truth and so very lame...and that too is "2nd chance!"
Wow!!!
Look @ Shanette...come on guys lets give her a round of applause...why you ask...well here's a list: Shanette is:
1) opening herself to the dating world again, not just using guys for sex but actually treating them w/a little respect.
2) Stepping out of here comfort zone<---a BIG deal!!!
3) Having lots of fun doing the above!!!
4) Just excited about being excited!
5) Looking forward to the future...whatever it may be I know it will be AWESOME!
Oh lawd...I'm making my own self sick...don't fall for it, you can’t fall for it...ICE COLD!!!
So...he's here one more night and I can't wait to see him again : D YAY!!!
He's becoming one of my favorite things! *DON'T FALL FOR IT, YOU CAN'T FALL FOR IT. ICE COLD!!!
(but what if, what if, what if...he's the 1...aww hell naw bitch he ain't that cool...we have already done the "prototype" shit and you see where that got you...snap snap snap out of it!)
She was cold as ICE (Rick James)!
...and on that note...
POB!
~S. Parks
Okay so here's the deal..."2nd chance" came into town this weekend.We hung out all evening pretty much and I must say it has been a really LONG time since I have had like a real date and it actually went well. I was like so comfortable with him and this was really our first time hanging out since we met several months ago. I keep wanting to say he's perfect but I know it’s too soon to say such things, I have made that mistake before...and what's the point of making the mistakes if I'm not learning anything.
Anyways...we had sushi, hung out downtown, had some coffee, and chilled @ the tel...that was a wrap. I loved the fact that there was no pressure. I love how funny he is, and how he already knows how to "deal" w/me (b/c we know I'm a tuff cookie). I like how he is just the right balance of touchy feely. I like how he takes charge but lets me think I'm ultimately still running the show (yes I need that control). I like how he's a gentleman but not so much that I want to barf. I like how when we aren't talking, it’s okay silence not that awkward silence that causes you to think and say something dumb or embarrassing. I like how he doesn't take me too seriously which in turn helps me not to take me too seriously. Oh gosh I sound so "white girl" movie-ish...don't fall for it, you can't fall for it! ICE COLD!!!
"I am afraid b/c I have no fear" (Gnarls B. said that btw). I am just that comfortable with him and I don't want to talk about it too much w/my friends (as if I would do that anyway) b/c I just don't want to make a bigger deal about it than it is. You know it’s hard to stay in that "lets get to know each other" phase. I kinda wanna stay here for as long as I can b/c things are going so well. I know if I try to bring sex into the picture that it will only complicate things. We like haven't even really talked about sex that much and I'm okay w/that...surprisingly! For some reason, I'm not real anxious as I would be under normal circumstances, to physically attack him...I think that means I REALLY like him...WOWZER! (Yeah I like I just drew that conclusion) I have not "liked" anyone like this in a really long time! Its fun! (Don’t fall for it, you can't fall for it!) ICE COLD!!!
AAARRRGHHHH!!! He's just soooo great I swear, he's like kinda not my type *whatever that is* and that's what makes it so funny. I usually like more of the "rougher edge" guy and he's really far from that. I mean he's not a punk or anything but he's just not my regular style. He's more laid back, and he doesn't let "me" get to him (which I could see being a prollum later but we won't discuss that now). He's also REAL lame, lol. I am so anti-lame guy, like really...I don’t like them @ all...but he's a cool lame kinda like Ye (that's Kanye West for all you non hip-hoppers out there), and y'all know I lubs Ye...he's so funny, so genius, so the truth and so very lame...and that too is "2nd chance!"
Wow!!!
Look @ Shanette...come on guys lets give her a round of applause...why you ask...well here's a list: Shanette is:
1) opening herself to the dating world again, not just using guys for sex but actually treating them w/a little respect.
2) Stepping out of here comfort zone<---a BIG deal!!!
3) Having lots of fun doing the above!!!
4) Just excited about being excited!
5) Looking forward to the future...whatever it may be I know it will be AWESOME!
Oh lawd...I'm making my own self sick...don't fall for it, you can’t fall for it...ICE COLD!!!
So...he's here one more night and I can't wait to see him again : D YAY!!!
He's becoming one of my favorite things! *DON'T FALL FOR IT, YOU CAN'T FALL FOR IT. ICE COLD!!!
(but what if, what if, what if...he's the 1...aww hell naw bitch he ain't that cool...we have already done the "prototype" shit and you see where that got you...snap snap snap out of it!)
She was cold as ICE (Rick James)!
...and on that note...
POB!
~S. Parks
Thursday, April 19, 2007
GAME OVER!
Yeah yeah, I know it has not been 2 weeks but shit I'm tired of playing.
I have never been BIG on games, especially when it comes to matters of the heart...that shit is whack!
So anyways here is how everything went down: First of all let me say I have talked to this young man only like twice since we started this shit...now what the hell kinda game is he playing?! So! Hells I don't care, shit I don't even like talking on the phone! Here are his reasons for not calling as often: "well you said you don't like feeling pressured and obligated when in a relationship, you also said it makes you want to rebel, so I did not want to give you an excuse to do something bad." I was thinking "my nigga please, you think you are so clever, lol, yunno me nigga!"
So anyways...we talked Monday night after I returned from my trip. So he basically asked indirectly was I on my best behavior, and you know I told you I wouldn't lie (lying is for bitches anyways)...so I was like well you know...My nigga was like naw Iunno that's why I'm asking. LOL! I was like well...no I wasn't. My nigga was just like umph and went on to the next subject...so I was like cool.
Fast forward to today: He calls I no answer, he calls back, and leaves a message...now let me tell y'all something about me: I do NOT check voicemail (uh uh, no thanks). So then I text and was like what's up w/this vm you left, you know I don't check em...why my nigga tell me I was a scared little girl, who needs to get her shit together, ASAP, before I miss out on the best thing since Jesus (why is you stealing my line sir?!). After I wiped the shock off my face, stopped laughing, and calmed down. I called him asking for an explanation. He was like "how could you not adhere to 14 days, that's just being a punk," blah blah blah. I was like my nigga you is killing me w/the psycho-analysis. He was like "yeah I know you don't want to hear it but somebody needs to tell your ass that being a dog, with a capital d (I laughed internally) is not cool at all, you're a female and you should act as such." I was like WHAT sir?! What is you saying?! He was like "I just said it"...I'm like "yeah you talking but I ain't heard shit!" So that drove him...my nigga kinda went off (which I must admit made me kinda hott, lol).
Anywho getting to the point, here is the bottom line...he was like I was really feeling you, but when you told me about your past history that turned me off b/c I like humble women (whatever the fuck that shit means) and "I am afraid of how you could hurt me" (and I'm thinking how the fuck do I know you won't hurt me hell), "however I am even more afraid of not taking that chance" [oh lord don't get soft on me now (no pun intended)]. So my rebuttal was this: "this is me right now on today in my life, take it or leave it. I cannot promise you that I will or won't do anything for the following reasons: 1) b/c I don't know you well enough to care, 2) simply b/c I don't want to, and 3) I have to be focused to make a commitment and I clearly was not, however I can assure you I won't purposely hurt you", pause, that is such a nigga line, I mean who purposely tries to hurt someone, I mean you know I'm just saying... So anyways I was like "I really like you but you're jeopardizing that by playing games and testing me." So he understood and we moved on UNTIL he so casually said: "I could maybe fall in love with you..."
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
STOP right there my young black brother....my nigga, my nigga, MY NIGGA what is you saying?!?! Thinking to myself: Be cool, be cool, Ice Cold ("The Love Below"), okay GIT Shanette. Me: "Ummmm, what do you mean?" Him: "Oh don't get all bent (he stole that shit from me too!) I am just saying you have the potential, I haven't loved anyone in a long time or even met anyone for that matter, that I felt could bring that out of me, and I can see the possibility of that happening with you, that's ALL I meant." Me: (still need just a wee bit more clarification): soooo you are NOT in love, right?" Him: "Hell to the NAW (okay, STOP thief, he stole that phrase too!) girl now chill out! I am just letting you know how I feel, see you ask for honesty and when you get it you can't handle it! That's what's wrong w/you women!" Me: Phew! Thank the Lord, "Whatever nigga, don't ACT like the shit ain't possible b/c if that's where I wanted you that's where you'd be, but I was about to pull out my receipt and take yo ass back to the mall (you know like Kells, "a dawg on the prowl when I'm walking thru the mall" lol, I like that line)!" Him: (laughs) "Shanette you are by far the weirdest chick I have met thus far, chill out man (clearly his fav thing to say), love is a good thing, you need a little love in your life, that's your problem, you are hard as a rock, but I know the truth, you are just dying to melt that icebox aren't you, and I don't mind helping you do so!" Me: (he's so lame!) "Uh huh you prolly right, but I'm prolly not, at least not today shit nor tomorrow for that matter!" Him: (laughs) "uh huh, keep talking shit." (He said some other stuff that I choose not to include, thanks) Me: "I know ; ) and you lubs it, well no wait...you likes it!" LOL!
So what did we learn today:
1) Shanette is not looking for love, but does that mean she is afraid it...maybe, maybe not.
2) Shanette is not into games!
3) Shanette is so sincere, you should try it out you might like it!
4) Shanette likes HIM, but that's about as far as it goes @ the moment, hell tomorrow I may not even know HIM...I mean I'm just saying man...my ass is unpredictable!
5) Shanette values honesty, however she tells the occassional lie...I mean come on who doesn't?!
6) Shanette does what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants! Now I am not saying that's okay, but I am saying that's me right now on today, @ this time in my life, thanks!
That's all for today folks...I'm beat! Actually this post was supposed to be about something completely different but clearly the Holy Ghost led me in a completely different direction (lol you know how black folks always talking bout the Holy Spirit led them somewhere, girl that was yo ass that led you not no HG, stop using the Lawd for an excuse), so anyways maybe next time...I'll get to what I originally had to say.
Side note: Damn man, may I just say I am by far the horniest person I know, Jesus Christ! I need help! I am in an astronomical amount of pain and all I can think about is getting laid...again, I need help! I surely hope these folk don't be talking about they are limiting my rigorous activity, b/c now is NOT the time for me to be abstinent, NO thanks!
Okay and on that note I'm off...to sleep...alone and horny : ( DAYUM GINA!
Nite & POB!
~S. Parks
(this post was brought to you in part by Lil' Flip)
I have never been BIG on games, especially when it comes to matters of the heart...that shit is whack!
So anyways here is how everything went down: First of all let me say I have talked to this young man only like twice since we started this shit...now what the hell kinda game is he playing?! So! Hells I don't care, shit I don't even like talking on the phone! Here are his reasons for not calling as often: "well you said you don't like feeling pressured and obligated when in a relationship, you also said it makes you want to rebel, so I did not want to give you an excuse to do something bad." I was thinking "my nigga please, you think you are so clever, lol, yunno me nigga!"
So anyways...we talked Monday night after I returned from my trip. So he basically asked indirectly was I on my best behavior, and you know I told you I wouldn't lie (lying is for bitches anyways)...so I was like well you know...My nigga was like naw Iunno that's why I'm asking. LOL! I was like well...no I wasn't. My nigga was just like umph and went on to the next subject...so I was like cool.
Fast forward to today: He calls I no answer, he calls back, and leaves a message...now let me tell y'all something about me: I do NOT check voicemail (uh uh, no thanks). So then I text and was like what's up w/this vm you left, you know I don't check em...why my nigga tell me I was a scared little girl, who needs to get her shit together, ASAP, before I miss out on the best thing since Jesus (why is you stealing my line sir?!). After I wiped the shock off my face, stopped laughing, and calmed down. I called him asking for an explanation. He was like "how could you not adhere to 14 days, that's just being a punk," blah blah blah. I was like my nigga you is killing me w/the psycho-analysis. He was like "yeah I know you don't want to hear it but somebody needs to tell your ass that being a dog, with a capital d (I laughed internally) is not cool at all, you're a female and you should act as such." I was like WHAT sir?! What is you saying?! He was like "I just said it"...I'm like "yeah you talking but I ain't heard shit!" So that drove him...my nigga kinda went off (which I must admit made me kinda hott, lol).
Anywho getting to the point, here is the bottom line...he was like I was really feeling you, but when you told me about your past history that turned me off b/c I like humble women (whatever the fuck that shit means) and "I am afraid of how you could hurt me" (and I'm thinking how the fuck do I know you won't hurt me hell), "however I am even more afraid of not taking that chance" [oh lord don't get soft on me now (no pun intended)]. So my rebuttal was this: "this is me right now on today in my life, take it or leave it. I cannot promise you that I will or won't do anything for the following reasons: 1) b/c I don't know you well enough to care, 2) simply b/c I don't want to, and 3) I have to be focused to make a commitment and I clearly was not, however I can assure you I won't purposely hurt you", pause, that is such a nigga line, I mean who purposely tries to hurt someone, I mean you know I'm just saying... So anyways I was like "I really like you but you're jeopardizing that by playing games and testing me." So he understood and we moved on UNTIL he so casually said: "I could maybe fall in love with you..."
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
STOP right there my young black brother....my nigga, my nigga, MY NIGGA what is you saying?!?! Thinking to myself: Be cool, be cool, Ice Cold ("The Love Below"), okay GIT Shanette. Me: "Ummmm, what do you mean?" Him: "Oh don't get all bent (he stole that shit from me too!) I am just saying you have the potential, I haven't loved anyone in a long time or even met anyone for that matter, that I felt could bring that out of me, and I can see the possibility of that happening with you, that's ALL I meant." Me: (still need just a wee bit more clarification): soooo you are NOT in love, right?" Him: "Hell to the NAW (okay, STOP thief, he stole that phrase too!) girl now chill out! I am just letting you know how I feel, see you ask for honesty and when you get it you can't handle it! That's what's wrong w/you women!" Me: Phew! Thank the Lord, "Whatever nigga, don't ACT like the shit ain't possible b/c if that's where I wanted you that's where you'd be, but I was about to pull out my receipt and take yo ass back to the mall (you know like Kells, "a dawg on the prowl when I'm walking thru the mall" lol, I like that line)!" Him: (laughs) "Shanette you are by far the weirdest chick I have met thus far, chill out man (clearly his fav thing to say), love is a good thing, you need a little love in your life, that's your problem, you are hard as a rock, but I know the truth, you are just dying to melt that icebox aren't you, and I don't mind helping you do so!" Me: (he's so lame!) "Uh huh you prolly right, but I'm prolly not, at least not today shit nor tomorrow for that matter!" Him: (laughs) "uh huh, keep talking shit." (He said some other stuff that I choose not to include, thanks) Me: "I know ; ) and you lubs it, well no wait...you likes it!" LOL!
So what did we learn today:
1) Shanette is not looking for love, but does that mean she is afraid it...maybe, maybe not.
2) Shanette is not into games!
3) Shanette is so sincere, you should try it out you might like it!
4) Shanette likes HIM, but that's about as far as it goes @ the moment, hell tomorrow I may not even know HIM...I mean I'm just saying man...my ass is unpredictable!
5) Shanette values honesty, however she tells the occassional lie...I mean come on who doesn't?!
6) Shanette does what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants! Now I am not saying that's okay, but I am saying that's me right now on today, @ this time in my life, thanks!
That's all for today folks...I'm beat! Actually this post was supposed to be about something completely different but clearly the Holy Ghost led me in a completely different direction (lol you know how black folks always talking bout the Holy Spirit led them somewhere, girl that was yo ass that led you not no HG, stop using the Lawd for an excuse), so anyways maybe next time...I'll get to what I originally had to say.
Side note: Damn man, may I just say I am by far the horniest person I know, Jesus Christ! I need help! I am in an astronomical amount of pain and all I can think about is getting laid...again, I need help! I surely hope these folk don't be talking about they are limiting my rigorous activity, b/c now is NOT the time for me to be abstinent, NO thanks!
Okay and on that note I'm off...to sleep...alone and horny : ( DAYUM GINA!
Nite & POB!
~S. Parks
(this post was brought to you in part by Lil' Flip)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Complex Simplicity
I think I am by far the most complicated person I know, however I like the the simplest things...i.e. turkey sandwiches!
OMGosh I lubs turkey sandwiches! They are soooo grreat!
See, this is me everyday!...breakfast: cereal, turkey bacon, fruit; lunch: turkey sandwich, chips/fruit/soup; dinner: baked fish/chicken, baked sweet potato, veggies/spinach...and I'm good to go...no more no less...
However I like things a certain way when/before eating them or I will be rather unhappy, and that's where the complexity comes in...
That's all for today folks, I actually had more to say the other day when I started this post but I can't recall now, too tired and in too much pain!
Pain---damn old ass lady ran into me yesterday! AAAARRRGGGHHH I so don't have time for this shit!!! But Imma be good b/c hell I could have been dead sleeping in my grave if it had not been for the who? The Lord on my side, hallelujah, and thank ya Jesus! ; )
Until next time,
POB!
~S. Parks
OMGosh I lubs turkey sandwiches! They are soooo grreat!
See, this is me everyday!...breakfast: cereal, turkey bacon, fruit; lunch: turkey sandwich, chips/fruit/soup; dinner: baked fish/chicken, baked sweet potato, veggies/spinach...and I'm good to go...no more no less...
However I like things a certain way when/before eating them or I will be rather unhappy, and that's where the complexity comes in...
That's all for today folks, I actually had more to say the other day when I started this post but I can't recall now, too tired and in too much pain!
Pain---damn old ass lady ran into me yesterday! AAAARRRGGGHHH I so don't have time for this shit!!! But Imma be good b/c hell I could have been dead sleeping in my grave if it had not been for the who? The Lord on my side, hallelujah, and thank ya Jesus! ; )
Until next time,
POB!
~S. Parks
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
"the A" wrap-up!
Good day, good sir!
Yep, I am back bitches!
: ( a bitter-sweet ending to a fan-fucking-tabulous trip!
I was surely not ready to leave, but the trip put things back into perspective for me...yes I still hate Memphis but what I am doing about it, clearly not enuff if I'm still here! So ATL, was motivation (thanks T.I.P.), to get up and out and back on my shit, like ASAP (T.I., again!)
So the details:
Not too too much to tell. Of course I went w/my #1 homey, Bets (MoeShus)! I swear that girl makes me nutz, but I'm sure I do the same to her! We are such an unlikely pair, but I think that's why we work...craziness attracts "moe" craziness, lol! I lubs her though, she is a good look!
Bets--->"If any nigga in the world feel me, I know you feel me...fuck dez niggas hatin on us man!" So anyways yeah, needless to say we had a blast, bitches...looking forward to the next one (catch us in the NOLA for Jazzfest...that's home so you know we gets down). We work hard, we sleep harder, and we play the hardest!
So anywho...we really didn't club like a whole lot, not no like for real shopping either, no new boos : ( so needless to see my addiction was not even hardly entertained, but its all good...I ate good, slept good, drank good, _____ good, chilled great! So I was good to go! Feeling real relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready! I'm focused man...Real Talk! Y'all best get ready b/c things are about to change...(enter suspenseful music) I can FEEL it! I'm READY! Bless me LORD!
Wait did you want a day by day, play by play???
Dayum! Aight but only for you ; )
R-arrival; Novi & Dynasty (her toy poodle) scoops; rental car drama w/bitch ass Ki Ki Taylor--->the car! (Kia Optima...yeah I know WTH?! me no no!); tel check-in (Novs-work); grab a bite @ Chipotle (me stomach no likey btw); trip to Whole Foods (yay!); met up w/Bets' friend Corey (kinda "how YOU doing", I mean I'm just saying...), back to the tel, feel asleep on them before his friend/cuz came up (he was supposedly for me), which was prolly a good thing!; Bets napped, I went to Lennox; we went to Slice (leave it to black folk to turn something into the club), a pizzeria w/a deejay (unfortunately I had a bitch ass migraine!); Bet's goes w/boo and I to bed!
F-I bounce w/Novs early am to the salon; eat @ "Thumbs Up" (if I had another set of hands I'd give it 4 thumbs up!); ran errands and dabbled in some unmentionables; Ben & Jerry's; Tel-naptime; Bets returns; Spondivits; some club in East Point; Chick Fil-A; Tel-bedtime
Sat-Novs' breakfast; Lennox; Whole Foods; Tel-naptime; Hanging out; Gladys Knights' (YUCK!); Tel- bedtime
Sun-Mall of GA (why?!); P. F. Changs; Tel-naptime; The Velvet Room; Moe's boo's house; Tel-bedtime (very brief!)
M-check out; rental return; port...BYE BYE! : _ (
Back in whiggdy whack ass Memphis AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
I think that covers it, well what I could recall anyways...
Until the next trip, I'm on my full time grind--->thanks Yo Gotti!
And until we blog again...POB!
~S. Parks
Yep, I am back bitches!
: ( a bitter-sweet ending to a fan-fucking-tabulous trip!
I was surely not ready to leave, but the trip put things back into perspective for me...yes I still hate Memphis but what I am doing about it, clearly not enuff if I'm still here! So ATL, was motivation (thanks T.I.P.), to get up and out and back on my shit, like ASAP (T.I., again!)
So the details:
Not too too much to tell. Of course I went w/my #1 homey, Bets (MoeShus)! I swear that girl makes me nutz, but I'm sure I do the same to her! We are such an unlikely pair, but I think that's why we work...craziness attracts "moe" craziness, lol! I lubs her though, she is a good look!
Bets--->"If any nigga in the world feel me, I know you feel me...fuck dez niggas hatin on us man!" So anyways yeah, needless to say we had a blast, bitches...looking forward to the next one (catch us in the NOLA for Jazzfest...that's home so you know we gets down). We work hard, we sleep harder, and we play the hardest!
So anywho...we really didn't club like a whole lot, not no like for real shopping either, no new boos : ( so needless to see my addiction was not even hardly entertained, but its all good...I ate good, slept good, drank good, _____ good, chilled great! So I was good to go! Feeling real relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready! I'm focused man...Real Talk! Y'all best get ready b/c things are about to change...(enter suspenseful music) I can FEEL it! I'm READY! Bless me LORD!
Wait did you want a day by day, play by play???
Dayum! Aight but only for you ; )
R-arrival; Novi & Dynasty (her toy poodle) scoops; rental car drama w/bitch ass Ki Ki Taylor--->the car! (Kia Optima...yeah I know WTH?! me no no!); tel check-in (Novs-work); grab a bite @ Chipotle (me stomach no likey btw); trip to Whole Foods (yay!); met up w/Bets' friend Corey (kinda "how YOU doing", I mean I'm just saying...), back to the tel, feel asleep on them before his friend/cuz came up (he was supposedly for me), which was prolly a good thing!; Bets napped, I went to Lennox; we went to Slice (leave it to black folk to turn something into the club), a pizzeria w/a deejay (unfortunately I had a bitch ass migraine!); Bet's goes w/boo and I to bed!
F-I bounce w/Novs early am to the salon; eat @ "Thumbs Up" (if I had another set of hands I'd give it 4 thumbs up!); ran errands and dabbled in some unmentionables; Ben & Jerry's; Tel-naptime; Bets returns; Spondivits; some club in East Point; Chick Fil-A; Tel-bedtime
Sat-Novs' breakfast; Lennox; Whole Foods; Tel-naptime; Hanging out; Gladys Knights' (YUCK!); Tel- bedtime
Sun-Mall of GA (why?!); P. F. Changs; Tel-naptime; The Velvet Room; Moe's boo's house; Tel-bedtime (very brief!)
M-check out; rental return; port...BYE BYE! : _ (
Back in whiggdy whack ass Memphis AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
I think that covers it, well what I could recall anyways...
Until the next trip, I'm on my full time grind--->thanks Yo Gotti!
And until we blog again...POB!
~S. Parks
Saturday, April 14, 2007
EEK! There's a MONSTER in my closet!
This post is brought to you in part by Gnarls Barkley's "The Boogie Monster"
So...I'm in Atlanta...checking my e-mail, after a long, eventful, yet fun-filled evening. I check my feeds and read Boome's blog (I've mentioned her before), and she talks about happiness...blah blah blah, some more Oprah foolishness. Actually this one is pretty relevant to me, right now on today.
Happiness is something I think about often. I am always thinking, man I just want to be happy above all else what is that feeling like I wonder...So I took Oprah's, or whoever's quiz on oprah.com to see "Are you happy" The scores range from 0-35, I scored a whopping 16, WOWZER, don't kill me happiness! 31+ means you are happy with your life and its components, under 15 means you're seriously dissatisfied with your life, and need to make changes ASAP. In between, means you are still searching for the things that make you happy, blah blah blah.
Took another quiz and these are the results from the "What are you hiding" quiz on Oprah's website. "You're repressing a considerable amount of emotion and information, and this affects your daily life in negative ways. You sometimes behave irresponsibly, or even destructively, at work and in relationships. You could benefit from reading psychology or self-help books that interest you and therapy would be enormously helpful."
POW, BANG, BOOM! Hit me where it hurts!!! Okay, okay, I got it "Shanette, you're miserable!" So...whose fault is that??? I think I am trying to find someone to pin this whole thing on you know...so is it your fault...hmm...naan I think its mines! So SURPRISE BITCHES! The Monster is ME (remember that Sesame Street book, with Grover about the monster, and turns out he is the damn monster, that was my fav child book too...go fig.)! I am afraid of myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my intelligence, my potential. What does that mean exactly, well it means, I can't excel until I accept my situation for what it is, say its no ones fault but it is what it is...now will I allow that to make or break me is the next question? Hmmm...Well of course I say NO! However, if I don't make a move like yesterday, you know that stuck feeling I was complaining about, may actually come to pass...
So SHANETTE! This is to you, yourself, and uh...yeah, YOU! LET’S GET IT! We have nothing and hells I do mean nothing to lose! Like I heard in church one time, who am I not to have all I desire...I mean really think about it...if I am God's divine creation, and I am...who am I not to have, to do, to be, all that I want in this life...so...with that being said...I am commanding all monsters, to FALL BACK, bitches! You don't control me! I control me...all those little fears, insecurities, and flaws are meager, minor details that can only have power if I allow it...and I don't! YAY for me! WOO HOO! Revelations...was that really a revelation??? I'd say no, but it is motivation and starting....right....NOW...I am back on my full time grind--->thanks Yo Gotti!
My quest for happiness...while it maybe never-ending I can be enthused about the quest versus being bitter about the contentment.
POB!
(I really am having a GRRREAT time in the A...woo hoo...I might have to move on down here mane!)
~S. Parks
So...I'm in Atlanta...checking my e-mail, after a long, eventful, yet fun-filled evening. I check my feeds and read Boome's blog (I've mentioned her before), and she talks about happiness...blah blah blah, some more Oprah foolishness. Actually this one is pretty relevant to me, right now on today.
Happiness is something I think about often. I am always thinking, man I just want to be happy above all else what is that feeling like I wonder...So I took Oprah's, or whoever's quiz on oprah.com to see "Are you happy" The scores range from 0-35, I scored a whopping 16, WOWZER, don't kill me happiness! 31+ means you are happy with your life and its components, under 15 means you're seriously dissatisfied with your life, and need to make changes ASAP. In between, means you are still searching for the things that make you happy, blah blah blah.
Took another quiz and these are the results from the "What are you hiding" quiz on Oprah's website. "You're repressing a considerable amount of emotion and information, and this affects your daily life in negative ways. You sometimes behave irresponsibly, or even destructively, at work and in relationships. You could benefit from reading psychology or self-help books that interest you and therapy would be enormously helpful."
POW, BANG, BOOM! Hit me where it hurts!!! Okay, okay, I got it "Shanette, you're miserable!" So...whose fault is that??? I think I am trying to find someone to pin this whole thing on you know...so is it your fault...hmm...naan I think its mines! So SURPRISE BITCHES! The Monster is ME (remember that Sesame Street book, with Grover about the monster, and turns out he is the damn monster, that was my fav child book too...go fig.)! I am afraid of myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my intelligence, my potential. What does that mean exactly, well it means, I can't excel until I accept my situation for what it is, say its no ones fault but it is what it is...now will I allow that to make or break me is the next question? Hmmm...Well of course I say NO! However, if I don't make a move like yesterday, you know that stuck feeling I was complaining about, may actually come to pass...
So SHANETTE! This is to you, yourself, and uh...yeah, YOU! LET’S GET IT! We have nothing and hells I do mean nothing to lose! Like I heard in church one time, who am I not to have all I desire...I mean really think about it...if I am God's divine creation, and I am...who am I not to have, to do, to be, all that I want in this life...so...with that being said...I am commanding all monsters, to FALL BACK, bitches! You don't control me! I control me...all those little fears, insecurities, and flaws are meager, minor details that can only have power if I allow it...and I don't! YAY for me! WOO HOO! Revelations...was that really a revelation??? I'd say no, but it is motivation and starting....right....NOW...I am back on my full time grind--->thanks Yo Gotti!
My quest for happiness...while it maybe never-ending I can be enthused about the quest versus being bitter about the contentment.
POB!
(I really am having a GRRREAT time in the A...woo hoo...I might have to move on down here mane!)
~S. Parks
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Update...
ITS JUST A GAME!
Chatting it up w/my homey Boome (or Princess Ash for you bloggers owt there, ashdboo.blogspot.com check her owt if you don't already know!) she had me thinking about some things...like what guy do you know that would play that kind of game for fake or at all, for that matter...and I was like hmmm you're right Boome, this is a bit strange!
So what is he trying to get owt of this whole "game." While I don't know him that well I have come to find that he is very analytical person, hell he's an accountant for god-sake, so you know he fine-tooth combs errthing. So I try to always be on my p's and q's when chatting it up w/him, or so I think, but clearly this game has knocked me back to six!
So I'm thinking that he did in fact mean it as a joke, but is testing my trust-worthiness, and maybe my sincerity. Now who is he to be testing me you ask, NO DAMN BODY, I say, but I do like him, and that shit is RARE, like uh (I am trying to think of some rare species but Iunno so you can insert your own...here), yeah like that! Is he like one of those people who does something to get a rxn owt of you early on to see if you're even worth the trouble...you know?
Now on to Atlanta, what will I do about that...here's the dilemma, which is why I have to take my time and enter a relationship w/sound body and mind, I don't regard him enuff to actually take this thing seriously...did I not just tell him that I am indeed a habitual cheater, therefore in order for me not to cheat I have to actually want (yes I know its bad to only do things b/c you want but hell that's how I operate @ this time in my life, thanks) to commit otherwise, I have lost this game even before beginning. Back to Atlanta so yeah I will carry on in the A as if it were my birthday, HEY! LOL! No but really I will be my regular self, the question is will I be mindful of the "game", the answer is yes, will I adhere is the real question, and the answer is prolly NOT! Why?! Prolly b/c I no wanna!
Its just that simple, I don't want to, so I'm prolly not!
When these 2 weeks are done, I will say yes I was committed to you as much as I could be considering our history, which is short. So I will try not to lie, that's about the best I can do man, shit. I'll keep you posted on my trip (it will be one you won't want to miss the details of) and oh yeah the "GAME" too!
POB for now!
~S. Parks
Chatting it up w/my homey Boome (or Princess Ash for you bloggers owt there, ashdboo.blogspot.com check her owt if you don't already know!) she had me thinking about some things...like what guy do you know that would play that kind of game for fake or at all, for that matter...and I was like hmmm you're right Boome, this is a bit strange!
So what is he trying to get owt of this whole "game." While I don't know him that well I have come to find that he is very analytical person, hell he's an accountant for god-sake, so you know he fine-tooth combs errthing. So I try to always be on my p's and q's when chatting it up w/him, or so I think, but clearly this game has knocked me back to six!
So I'm thinking that he did in fact mean it as a joke, but is testing my trust-worthiness, and maybe my sincerity. Now who is he to be testing me you ask, NO DAMN BODY, I say, but I do like him, and that shit is RARE, like uh (I am trying to think of some rare species but Iunno so you can insert your own...here), yeah like that! Is he like one of those people who does something to get a rxn owt of you early on to see if you're even worth the trouble...you know?
Now on to Atlanta, what will I do about that...here's the dilemma, which is why I have to take my time and enter a relationship w/sound body and mind, I don't regard him enuff to actually take this thing seriously...did I not just tell him that I am indeed a habitual cheater, therefore in order for me not to cheat I have to actually want (yes I know its bad to only do things b/c you want but hell that's how I operate @ this time in my life, thanks) to commit otherwise, I have lost this game even before beginning. Back to Atlanta so yeah I will carry on in the A as if it were my birthday, HEY! LOL! No but really I will be my regular self, the question is will I be mindful of the "game", the answer is yes, will I adhere is the real question, and the answer is prolly NOT! Why?! Prolly b/c I no wanna!
Its just that simple, I don't want to, so I'm prolly not!
When these 2 weeks are done, I will say yes I was committed to you as much as I could be considering our history, which is short. So I will try not to lie, that's about the best I can do man, shit. I'll keep you posted on my trip (it will be one you won't want to miss the details of) and oh yeah the "GAME" too!
POB for now!
~S. Parks
Monday, April 9, 2007
Let's Play a Game...
brought to you by the Saw trilogy.
Okay...I know its been awhile but at least I have something good to share!!!
So...
I have been talking to this guy for a lil while, maybe a few weeks, but we had been talking like a year ago and we stopped...so he up and called owt the blue and I must say I was geeked, b/c he was the coolest guy eber!
He was like that one guy in the club that I watch all night, trust me those are rare for me...I hardly eber find someone that makes me nervous, and he does just that (I'm blushing...so whack) and I like it! I like him...he's just really cool. Not to mention he dresses really well, has dreads, dark brown skin, great build, haute swag, and to top it off ooh wee he drives a RANGE!!! HEY HEY BITCHES!!! Okay so on to the more important features (well I guess), um he is a good listener, he's funny (sometimes), extremely smart (which kinda intimidates me) he's laid back, he's sociable, he has a fulfilling career (woo hoo), no kids (that I know of), no wifeys (again that I know of)...he's just real cool just like me, w/o all my extra weirdness, lol!
So on to the point...now on last night we had this conversation (it was only about me, I wonder why....hmmm...) how I behave in relationships:@ ease or still on guard. Well I am usually @ ease b/c once I have gotten to the relationship stat I have usually gotten really comfortable and trusting (but still a little defensive, lol)! Anyway on to real meat of the convo and my topic of discussion...so he asked if I had ever cheated on my exes, and the answer is yes, a BIG yes, b/c I have cheated on all of them w/the exception of 1, the last, and his ass shoulda been the main one (nother post, nother day)! Lol, that's not funny but it kinda is. So he was like WOWZER, what the hell am I supposed to say to that??? I was like what you mean. He: Well I meanI should just quit now, huh?! Me: Naw, naw I've changed (little white lie never hurt anyone) He: Well prove it! Me: Prove it?! What you saying (gettin real extra nervous) He: Okay here's the deal, for 2 weeks we're in a committed relationship, all the basic rules and regulations, if you gotta think about if the other person would disapprove then they probably would but get clarification just in case, @ the end of the weeks if you have been faithful I will take you on my next vacation. However if you can't make it you have to wait on me hand and foot for the weekend, of my choice. Me: Sure, I accept, that's easy, I can do that! He: You also have to tell your friends, making them aware, b/c if they don't know its not even real, right?! Riight! Me: Hesitating, um yeah okay I'll tell em!
Now on to today...Here's my thoughts: Dayum GINA! My ass forgot that I am going to ATLANTA this weekend, and I cuts the fool owt there man, then Imma be w/the debil herself, MoeSHUS (who by the way I haven't told and she gonna be like WTH man, youz a fool, you better not do that dumb shit, or yeah do it and just don't tell him what you do while you owt there)! Anyway, NOT a good look! WTF was I thinking?! Clearly I was not! Just excited about the challenge and proving him wrong! I LIVE for a challenge and I hate being wrong! So now I'm fucked!!! WHAT do I do?! I think Imma ask him if we can push it back to May, lol, but no like I'm serious right now...can we seriously push it back to May?! This is just not a good week, matter fact month for me...I have 2 trips planned and I knows I'm not behaving! SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!! Mind you he lives in STL, and you do recall my previous post re: my addiction, um so um yeah...Iun hardly know what the hell I was doing man!
Iunno man, Iun just know how Imma handle this one...on the real this is like a test of my character...am I really changing or just frontin for my convienence??? I have been working on my Selfish vs. Selfless post for a minute now...I think that one will be posted very soon....or maybe I should wait until after the A....hmmm...damn the A...man I'm about to....wooooo weeee...Y'all ain't even much ready man!
Okay I gotta get outta here, but this is to be continued...so I'll keep you posted!
POB...for now!
~S. Parks
Okay...I know its been awhile but at least I have something good to share!!!
So...
I have been talking to this guy for a lil while, maybe a few weeks, but we had been talking like a year ago and we stopped...so he up and called owt the blue and I must say I was geeked, b/c he was the coolest guy eber!
He was like that one guy in the club that I watch all night, trust me those are rare for me...I hardly eber find someone that makes me nervous, and he does just that (I'm blushing...so whack) and I like it! I like him...he's just really cool. Not to mention he dresses really well, has dreads, dark brown skin, great build, haute swag, and to top it off ooh wee he drives a RANGE!!! HEY HEY BITCHES!!! Okay so on to the more important features (well I guess), um he is a good listener, he's funny (sometimes), extremely smart (which kinda intimidates me) he's laid back, he's sociable, he has a fulfilling career (woo hoo), no kids (that I know of), no wifeys (again that I know of)...he's just real cool just like me, w/o all my extra weirdness, lol!
So on to the point...now on last night we had this conversation (it was only about me, I wonder why....hmmm...) how I behave in relationships:@ ease or still on guard. Well I am usually @ ease b/c once I have gotten to the relationship stat I have usually gotten really comfortable and trusting (but still a little defensive, lol)! Anyway on to real meat of the convo and my topic of discussion...so he asked if I had ever cheated on my exes, and the answer is yes, a BIG yes, b/c I have cheated on all of them w/the exception of 1, the last, and his ass shoulda been the main one (nother post, nother day)! Lol, that's not funny but it kinda is. So he was like WOWZER, what the hell am I supposed to say to that??? I was like what you mean. He: Well I meanI should just quit now, huh?! Me: Naw, naw I've changed (little white lie never hurt anyone) He: Well prove it! Me: Prove it?! What you saying (gettin real extra nervous) He: Okay here's the deal, for 2 weeks we're in a committed relationship, all the basic rules and regulations, if you gotta think about if the other person would disapprove then they probably would but get clarification just in case, @ the end of the weeks if you have been faithful I will take you on my next vacation. However if you can't make it you have to wait on me hand and foot for the weekend, of my choice. Me: Sure, I accept, that's easy, I can do that! He: You also have to tell your friends, making them aware, b/c if they don't know its not even real, right?! Riight! Me: Hesitating, um yeah okay I'll tell em!
Now on to today...Here's my thoughts: Dayum GINA! My ass forgot that I am going to ATLANTA this weekend, and I cuts the fool owt there man, then Imma be w/the debil herself, MoeSHUS (who by the way I haven't told and she gonna be like WTH man, youz a fool, you better not do that dumb shit, or yeah do it and just don't tell him what you do while you owt there)! Anyway, NOT a good look! WTF was I thinking?! Clearly I was not! Just excited about the challenge and proving him wrong! I LIVE for a challenge and I hate being wrong! So now I'm fucked!!! WHAT do I do?! I think Imma ask him if we can push it back to May, lol, but no like I'm serious right now...can we seriously push it back to May?! This is just not a good week, matter fact month for me...I have 2 trips planned and I knows I'm not behaving! SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!! Mind you he lives in STL, and you do recall my previous post re: my addiction, um so um yeah...Iun hardly know what the hell I was doing man!
Iunno man, Iun just know how Imma handle this one...on the real this is like a test of my character...am I really changing or just frontin for my convienence??? I have been working on my Selfish vs. Selfless post for a minute now...I think that one will be posted very soon....or maybe I should wait until after the A....hmmm...damn the A...man I'm about to....wooooo weeee...Y'all ain't even much ready man!
Okay I gotta get outta here, but this is to be continued...so I'll keep you posted!
POB...for now!
~S. Parks
Sunday, April 1, 2007
"Life ain't meant to come around twice, that's why I gotta get it right!"
Wow!...Lupe, don't hurt em, the first song into the album and that's how you talking, they not ready, and come to think about it, neither was I!
So yeah man, that line really sticks out to me, and has been since I first heard the track. It so profound in its simplicity. I mean do we really think about the fact (well as far as we know) that this is the only life, the only chance to make a statement, leave a legacy, change the world, save a life(could very well be your own), experience every human emotion possible, to have a child, to be rich, to sail the seas, to build a house, or whatever desires your heart. Do you really stop and think that today could very well be your last?! That 2 seconds ago, someone just like you and me no longer has that opportunity...well this past week I thought of all those things for just that reason.
It was really a ruff week, man. I was just emotionally draining from deaths to disappointments to frustrations to misunderstandings to my life or lack there of...then I started to think about the young man who I knew of, that lost his life this week to what was seemingly some foolishness, and I pondered what could possibly be so awful that I would partake in self-pity, that this was all life had to offer me, that I would have the audacity to even think depressing thoughts-allowing my situations to determine my outcome, to even lose the slightest bit of faith in the God I serve (yes I know you thought I was Satan's spawn, even sinners need love too, in fact I recall that Jesus died for a lil sinner just like me...aight that's my bible lesson for the day, but trust I knows the LORD : D). There is no excuse for my behavior (other than I'm human and I get a lil tired sometimes), simply b/c I am in control of my life, and in doing so I decided to give complete control to the God I serve (while sometimes I forget and try to do things my way, ultimately failing, miserably...I come back rather quickly), and if I in fact trust Him, as I do, I should already know that everything that occurs is according to His will, His simple (if I allow it to be) plan.
While I did not, personally, know the young man, who I mentioned earlier, I was deeply saddened upon hearing the news of his death. While I wasn't confused or frustrated, I was definitely hurt that another young brother lost his life for seemingly no reason @ all. He appeared to be a good guy, doing the right thing, living the life, and trying to create a better one for his people. And that is what has caused me to think..."who am I?!" So great that bad or ruff times should surpass me(actually I have dealt with ruff times all my life), I simply thought I deserved a break b/c I am fighting to be a good person, who tries to do what's right and trying to make a change in this cold, cold world...but then I think about that saying (in which I hate so much) "things could be a lot worse" and I quickly get over myself!
Brother Malcolm said it best, "there is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time." So no I can't say why or even how God chose to take the young man at what may have seemed to be a pinnacle point in his life, was it to teach us a lesson, to open our eyes, to encourage us to preserve the present b/c tomorrow surely is not promised, whether you're 19 or 99...who knows, but this what I took from it that as of today I'm living for the moment I ain't living for the future (bet E-40 didn't know he was being so profound)! However, I will plan for the future and what I feel is the direction I should be going in, at the same time being mindful that God has ultimate control so I have to live everyday like its my very last (very cliche but very real, and we claim to favor real....ummm hmmm, 'nother post, 'nother day).
Patience is definitely a virtue, one that I am learning to develop, and procrastination is definitely ungodly, one that I am fighting w/missiles! That's my mindset for the week...be patient yet proactive! And w/that I'm out!
May you rest in peace, my brother, your life, I'm sure was an inspiration but your death has been an example, and touched far more than could be imagined.
Note to self: make your life an example of the impossible while living, as opposed to an example of urgency, upon death.
And the Church said...
AMEN, lol!
~S.
I told you, I was about changing lives baby, now are you ready for a breakthrough?!
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