Sunday, August 26, 2012

Re-introduction for the 1st time

I thought I knew you...I was certain we'd met before. Before now, I thought you were who I thought you were. Were you not really there? I feel like this is our first time meeting. You seem so new to me, so true to me. So clear to me in your presence I'm free. Free to be a me I've never been able to be, before. Before when I thought I knew you I never denied. Yet now that I know you're real I won't face you but I can't run from you. You're everywhere I turn, into a this one? B/c this is the realest I've felt so it couldn't be...naw I met you. I know it was you, maybe this is a different side of you...I never knew you to be so vivid, so encompassing, so undeniably present. If this is you, then who was that? Oh that was an imposter...well I digress. If only...I'd give in to you, admit to you that I know you're who you say you are...but how I can be sure? Sure that this time it's you...I can't be sure? Surely that wasn't you then, so this must be you now. Otherwise I wouldn't be so in denial.


The possibility of.
Is necessary.
Are a given.
A matter of the mind.
A matter of the mind.

It's a matter of choice whether fear overtakes the mind that changes because it's easier than being committed. Committed to the possibility of greatness. Greatness in being open to the possibility of failure. Failure goes without saying when it's a matter of the mind that chooses to not risk comfort for even the possibility of success. Success being indicative of growth-an intangible and personal change. Change the way mind sees risk. Risking the possibility of a moment of greatness for a lifetime of doubt, rooted in fear. Fear that what is real is a matter of the mind. Minding the heart is matter of honesty, a matter of courage, a matter of possibilities...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Until the Phone Rings...

This time it's different, this time I'm done...until the phone rings. But. That time was it, no more. No more cumming over me with none...of that slick shit cus I'm done! Until that phone rings & I wonder...if...if it's him & what he wants & when there's no hesitation I know I was never. Done.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"No One that 'Lives' Alone is REALLY Happy"

Adam, my godson-who's 4, recently asked me to move in with him. When I politely declined, he insisted that I reconsider. I said (politely, of course) "I have my own home, Adam." To which, he replied "but you live alone, & no one that lives alone is really happy!" Initially I was a bit taken aback! I thought how does he even know to say that to me...AND how does he know I live ALONE?! I told his mom (my best friend) about it & we laughed a bit, then moved on.

That was at least a month ago...why am I still thinking about it?!

It literally just hit me (after a glass of...& a very long day) that lives in that precious statement means something else (to me, of course, not to him). It means: to have life,  as an organism; be alive; be capable of vital functions: all things that live. Imagine a 4-yr old making a statement so profound! 

Much obliged.


See: you for you...accept. love.
Be: thankful. giving. joyful...the rest will come. in due time. on-time.
Inspire: others. to do the same...their way.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

As a woman...

As a woman, I should be able to cry without feeling insecure. Without feeling weak. As a woman, I shouldn't have to be strong to prove my strength. To prove my power. As a woman, I shouldn't have to define my sexuality based upon a man's point of view. Because as a man he has not a clue. As a woman, I should be able to be alone without feeling lonely. Without feeling the need of someone to hold me. As a woman, I should be able to love, love unconditionally. Love passionately. Love eagerly. Love, really. Really, love? That's what this is all about...b/c as a woman...the very thing I was created to do, as a woman, I don't know how to...