Lines

Friends. Friends w/Benefits. Fuck Friends.

Definition.
Precision.
Clarity.

These help me keep a certain mindset...to maintain stability…to be less confused & more in control…two things that can literally drive me insane…being confused & out of control! I just canNOT deal!

Unfortunately MEN! Don’t need all this…but then they wonder why they’ve mislead a person or why someone is cutting their nuts off (btw-I loathe Jesse Jackson)!

I don’t play games!
I’m very honest.
I’m really real.

So…I hope for the same in return. This is to the benefit of all parties involved. Unfortunately I appear more so intimidating than accommodating.

If we start out as just friends & grow into more…that’s fine but trust me were probably going to discuss it several times before things really go there…just for the sake of not losing a friendship.
If we start out talking as a man & woman getting to know each other…& it progresses into intimacy…that’s fine too as long as we understand what that means & how that changes things.
If we start out just fucking…not a problem…but it can’t go (@ least not w/me) from just fucking to just friends or lovers or whatever.

Pause: do boys know that girls like sex too? Like a lot? No like really…a LOT! Sometimes, we too prefer string-less sex, or sometimes we want to go there but are fearful of how we may be perceived (the latter doesn’t apply to me) etc. We still want to be pursued & respected & treated like a lady but there is still a manner in which you can approach a woman strictly on a physical level. Actually, guys think physically first…unlike women who usually think sincerely about the possibility of a relationship. ßoff subjectàon subject: When you want to just pursue a physical relationship w/a person…for whatever reason…maybe you’re involved, or maybe you just don’t have time or maybe that’s just really all you want from the person either way honesty is the BEST policy. Be straight up about your situation, but do it w/tact & charm, don’t scare the person. Make her feel comfortable & sexy, b/c basically you want her in a sexual capacity right…let her know what you’re offering but again do it tactfully & I guarantee if she has even the slightest thought she will comply w/your request.

Play: I go into situations w/men fully prepared…b/c I can’t afford to be mislead or confused or hurt or disillusioned b/c he likes to play games…I just don’t have time for the bullshit & I’m not cool w/looking like a fool…I’m just not that girl.
Therefore I can’t hardly take it…these dealings w/men! Seriously, they make my stomach hurt. They are more (these days) wishy-washy than women & its not cute. Boys are so dumb I swear to god. The time they take fucking people over they could’ve fucked twice that many people…I swear HONESTY! The biggest (right after $ & smelling nice) turn-on! Maybe it’s just me but when a man is upfront w/me I’m instantly attracted to me & I never like anyone-so that says a lot! Here’s the catch though I don’t hardly be believing what folk say-lol! Catch-22?

Anyways I’m just saying I don’t operate well w/abruptivity (yes I made that up). I like to discuss things. I like clear & open air. I like to be aware of moves & shifts in situations & feelings b/c I just don’t deal well when I’ve been mislead or confused.

Basically niggas need to grow the fuck up. Nobody has time for these whack ass games y’all play. Like seriously!
Get a life!

"I do me & you do what you can do about it!"

~S. Parks

Screw Summer

How come folk so extra horny in the summertime?

Or is it just me…naw couldn't be (I'm always like that…so that's nothing new).

Is that weird?

I mean its already hot, right…so why you wanna go & be like so extra hot???

Shit I guess since you're already hot & shit, may as well sweat it out for a good cause, huh!

Idk. I'm asking a general question…I can give my own personal answer but I'm something like a nymph so I'll bite my tongue…

I find myself talking about sex more & Love less during the season of 100 degree temperatures…maybe it's the clothes or lack there of that has everyone "LUSTING!" (lol, insert my Robin, who hails from none other than Memphis, TN, of ANTM season 1 voice- my sister knows her btw)

Well this summer has actually been the exception…I've discussed Love a LOT more than usual…a lot more than I'd prefer actually & a lot more than I'm comfortable with @ the present.

Maybe that's why my summer has been far short of fuck-filled action…hmmmm…interesting…

Anyways however this post has virtually nothing to do w/Love…so let's get back to the SEX (insert claps & roars of excitement)!

Having a very candid & explicit conversation w/my friend today, the topic of women's complexities arose. I was telling her that someone I've been more/less engaging in sexual activities w/has asked if I would have 3some w/him…then proceeded to tell me how he wants to take me to a swinger's club or whatever…I'm assuming 2 different instances he wants this to take place w/in. Anyways, she asked if I'd o it & I really didn't answer str8 up, b/c I've learned that as soon as I say "hell to the naw, I'd never do that ish!" What happens? I end up doing just that + some! So this is what I told her "Women. Maybe not all but most…will pretty much go there w/the right guy & the right situation! (If they haven't already perused the idea a time or two) I mean I'm just saying, let's be real ladies. Let that nigga spit something real tempting in your ear @ the right time, & see what happens…I mean...not that I just know or whatever…I'm just saying…that's my theory ;)

Women are pleasers by nature...hence we always want to make others happy, even if it doesn't necessarily fit into our realm of what happiness is.

Think about it…or not…whichever you prefer.

I find it incredibly fascinating in 2008, to find that people are still really taboo about sexual topics & not really as skilled as the media portrays. I think that's cool though…I guess. I'm pretty open myself…not open like "hey everybody comes/cums in." Open like I'm comfortable w/my sexuality & I like sex, period. I mean to me sex is just sex, when it's just sex…if you can understand that. Well let me attempt to explain w/o confusing you AND myself. I mean when you, well let me speak for myself…I understand sex, right? Well I think so. I understand that it's powerful. I understand that its fun. I understand that it's good. I even understand that it's sacred. I understand that it's not always simple. More importantly I understand its risks (on various levels) But not everyone thinks the way I think, right? Right. So…sex to me has become less of a big deal than say 5 years ago when I was a V, don't get me wrong I'm very cautious & I'm not just fucking everybody who passes…that's GROSS & I'm far too "the BOMB…TICK TICK" to allow such things!

What I am saying though is this: when, actually before I engage in the act, I have a fully diagramed conversation w/myself, b/c I recognize that I'm only in control of me. Hence, sex has no power over me, which ultimately renders the person I engage in the act w/powerless as well. UNLESS, I opt to forego that prerogative…UNLESS I say, hey "this is more than just sex to me right now…this is sacred & we're experiencing something profound here together, right?" Though often times, I'm not that into it…it really is just sex to me. I'm a very detached person…therefore I can completely veil my feelings (which some might argue is more often than not) when need be…though sometimes I have a hard time recognizing when to unveil, but that's another issue. Thing is I rarely engage in the act so freely w/whomever b/c like I said not everyone thinks like I think (AND I hardly like anybody!). I know men put up this big front (or do they) like they can have sex & that be that…but I've found that not to be the case, often times they are the ones stalking me. Okay maybe not stalking but getting more or less far more involved emotionally then me. Guess that goes back to the theory of me being a man disguised as a wo-man…well maybe so…or maybe I just don't give a fuck…"either way we fucking, either way!"-$ Mike (that's SO damn funny to me!) No. Really, I have to make sure I'm on the same accord w/my counterpart otherwise ain't shit happening…I hate to ruin or mislead or confuse feelings/relationships just b/c things got a little heated (& I liked it)…that doesn't mean my feelings for you have changed any…b/c I recognize (in adavance) that if they have, it's just the haze, the aftermath, the side effects of SEX, a very dangerous drug might I add, that I'll awake from in the morning!

GOOD NITE & GOOD MORNING BIATCH!

Until we meet again...

…buss 1 for me, lol!

Btw-I like Plies & he could prolly get it…as long as he does NOT call me his mf-ing buss it baby! Uh. No thanks. I have a DEGREE nigga! Act like you knew!

Oooh SCANDY*!

HAPPY SUMMER BEEEACH (isn't that clever how I spelled "bitch" like BEACH-btw I need a serious vacay that includes some beach action (& maybe fucking-WHA? I'm just saying...I have needs too!)!

~S. Parks

*scandalous-for you dorks out there ;-)

Guess who fucked up...

...Yep ME!
Guess I'm not that perfect huh...
So...this song epitomizes how I've been feeling for about 3 months now...YUCK & this past weekend did NOT help!

Blah!

~S. Parks

Almost forgot to mention that I totally adore this song & vid!

Spring Summer Feeling

For some reason I have really been thinking a LOT about being in love & loving someone & being loved & just all those matters of the heart, us Homo sapien sapiens, encounter. Maybe it's the heat…but I've just been trying to figure out what love means to me…if it's something I'm interested in @ the present…if it's something I'm willing to give a go again…if I even understand it…if I've learned anything from it & how I'm going to apply that knowledge to my next encounter.

Though I'm not that big on verbally expressing love, I definitely think I'm into love, when love is into me. Meaning, when (though it's only been once) I'm in love, I embrace it. I like it even. I thoroughly enjoy the moment. I kinda miss that feeling of being in love…I'm just fearful of being in love & not having the feeling reciprocated in a balanced manner, if you can understand that…

Basically, I've decided that I'm no longer settling (not that I have a habit of doing so). I just think I've decided that the next time I'm in love; I want him to be the one, a kinda scary thought huh? I know, but I'm serious. I'm not falling in love @ leisure again. I mean that's not to say I'm not dating & hanging & stuff…just not falling in love (if I can help it) until I know that the guy is that guy! Like the guy I could definitely marry (insert a very nervous emoction).

I want there to be no doubt in my mind that he loves me. That he is so besotted w/me that he can hardly even function w/o me. I want him to feel as though I literally complete him. That loving me is the greatest honor he's been bestowed. That I'm it entirely & abundantly. That every time he sees me he falls deeper in love. A love so true…that words aren't enough to express its goodness.

I'm talking a deep yearning for a person. A soul recognition. A spiritual encounter. A love that I believe only God can create between 2 people. I want to feel that in loving him I am not only making myself & him happy but God as well. I want to be comforted in knowing that in giving myself to him I will be safer than I have ever been in keeping myself from others.

One day, I hope to be blessed w/such an experience. I know what I'm worth & I'm willing to wait it out.

I'm preparing myself.

In the meantime I'll be loving me more & hoes less, lol…I'd advise you to do the same.

L8R Lovelies!

Xoxo,

S. Parks

Oh & Happy Birthday & 4^th of July to my idiot friend KarmCharm!

Summertime Snapping!

So I was just telling the homie Bets, real name Monique, that I needed a serious summer mix cd. Like someone needs to put out a nice mix, freestyle joint to rock out to this summer so I can make it through a little easier! She totally agreed! Then I go over to my homegirl in the blog world, Southern_Lady (http://www.blackgirladventures.blogspot.com/), caught up on the happs in her life & found not only does she have a strong liking for The Dream, as I do, but she too needs a summer jam list. Well she came up w/her own…so I guess I can do the same…she scooped this idea from someone else…so I'm carrying on the idea…

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

Umm in no particular order, I don't think…

1. 3 Peat, Lil Wayne, The Carter iii: Okay, so ask me how much I like this song…no ask me how much I like this whole freaking album…the shit is SO hard! Like seriously though, I rocks that 3 Peat so tuff in the mornings, baybay! "I'm on it! Oooh I'm on it! I'm SO on it! However you want it…you can get it tonite…& all nite!" ♥S IT!
   
2. Green Light, John Legend ft. Andre 3000, Unknown Album: Okay, so this is the new John Legend & I ♥ it, like fa real! I used to be a HUGE JL fan, then he started to blow up & I kinda lost interest (I like to feel like I'm listening to exclusive stuff, I'm kinda weird like that), but his last album was really nice, so I got back on the bandwagon. So if this song is any indication of the new album's music level, I'm ALL IN, ALREADY!
   
3. Key to Your ♥, Danity Kane, Welcome to the Dollhouse: I'm SO sincere when I say I am a ridiculous DK fan! Like seriously, I totally fucks w/them bitches! H8 on em if you want, this Dollhouse ish is BANGING!!! I really ♥ the WHOLE album, so it was extremely hard to choose my fave, but I went w/the one I listen to w/o fail when I pop this cd in…I SO ♥ this song, it's very sweet in sound.
   
4. Miami, Yo Gotti ft. Rick Ross, Cocaine Musik: Aight, y'all may/may not know I'm a "G." So I rarely drive to anything other than rap music, esp. early in the morning. Gets my mind right…that's prolly why I'm so extra tuff according to some. Anyways, I been on Rick Ross so hard l8ly. That The Boss is like seriously my faves, but this song allows me to kill 2 birds' w/1 stone. An M-town song, b/c I am a Gotti fan + Ricky Ross=YEEEAYUH!!! ROSS-I ♥ when he says that!!!!
   
5. Playin' in Her Hair, The Dream, Love/Hate: Actually I haven't been listening to this as much as I was initially, but I think I'm about to start back. I swear The Dream is a guilty pleasure…I feel so bad liking him b/c he is so very whack, but damnit I canNOT stop listening to the effing cd! I ♥ IT! This song especially…it reminds me of this guy I've been talking to, who is always playing in my hair and when he's been drinking he calls me "his nigga," some might find that offensive but I think it's cute…again I'm a slick g…so I like different stuff. Anyways, though this album came out in 2007, it's a good summertime album, very light, fun, & sexy music.
   
6. So Fly, Slim ft. Yung Joc, Unknown: First time hearing this song was today & I loved it as soon as I heard my boo, yep Yung Joc! Another guilty pleasure, something about that voice & the way he talks makes me really like him fa real, he could prolly get it! On to the track, I am a HUGE 112 fan, so I figured I'd like this. I mean I can see Slim solo, though I like the group, I'm still feeling the song. Good summertime jam! MeLikey!
   
7. Put On, Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West, I am Trap: Okay my 2 fave rappers on the same song, well my 2 faves right now…Jeezy feeds my g side, while Ye feeds my creative fly girl side! Perfect collab! I ♥ IT!!! Though I've been on this song & since they started playing it on the radio I've lapsed in rocking it myself, but it's def a banger, nonetheless!
   

HAPPY SUMMER '08!!!

~S. Parks