GAME OVER!

Yeah yeah, I know it has not been 2 weeks but shit I'm tired of playing.

I have never been BIG on games, especially when it comes to matters of the heart...that shit is whack!

So anyways here is how everything went down: First of all let me say I have talked to this young man only like twice since we started this shit...now what the hell kinda game is he playing?! So! Hells I don't care, shit I don't even like talking on the phone! Here are his reasons for not calling as often: "well you said you don't like feeling pressured and obligated when in a relationship, you also said it makes you want to rebel, so I did not want to give you an excuse to do something bad." I was thinking "my nigga please, you think you are so clever, lol, yunno me nigga!"

So anyways...we talked Monday night after I returned from my trip. So he basically asked indirectly was I on my best behavior, and you know I told you I wouldn't lie (lying is for bitches anyways)...so I was like well you know...My nigga was like naw Iunno that's why I'm asking. LOL! I was like well...no I wasn't. My nigga was just like umph and went on to the next subject...so I was like cool.

Fast forward to today: He calls I no answer, he calls back, and leaves a message...now let me tell y'all something about me: I do NOT check voicemail (uh uh, no thanks). So then I text and was like what's up w/this vm you left, you know I don't check em...why my nigga tell me I was a scared little girl, who needs to get her shit together, ASAP, before I miss out on the best thing since Jesus (why is you stealing my line sir?!). After I wiped the shock off my face, stopped laughing, and calmed down. I called him asking for an explanation. He was like "how could you not adhere to 14 days, that's just being a punk," blah blah blah. I was like my nigga you is killing me w/the psycho-analysis. He was like "yeah I know you don't want to hear it but somebody needs to tell your ass that being a dog, with a capital d (I laughed internally) is not cool at all, you're a female and you should act as such." I was like WHAT sir?! What is you saying?! He was like "I just said it"...I'm like "yeah you talking but I ain't heard shit!" So that drove him...my nigga kinda went off (which I must admit made me kinda hott, lol).

Anywho getting to the point, here is the bottom line...he was like I was really feeling you, but when you told me about your past history that turned me off b/c I like humble women (whatever the fuck that shit means) and "I am afraid of how you could hurt me" (and I'm thinking how the fuck do I know you won't hurt me hell), "however I am even more afraid of not taking that chance" [oh lord don't get soft on me now (no pun intended)]. So my rebuttal was this: "this is me right now on today in my life, take it or leave it. I cannot promise you that I will or won't do anything for the following reasons: 1) b/c I don't know you well enough to care, 2) simply b/c I don't want to, and 3) I have to be focused to make a commitment and I clearly was not, however I can assure you I won't purposely hurt you", pause, that is such a nigga line, I mean who purposely tries to hurt someone, I mean you know I'm just saying... So anyways I was like "I really like you but you're jeopardizing that by playing games and testing me." So he understood and we moved on UNTIL he so casually said: "I could maybe fall in love with you..."
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
STOP right there my young black brother....my nigga, my nigga, MY NIGGA what is you saying?!?! Thinking to myself: Be cool, be cool, Ice Cold ("The Love Below"), okay GIT Shanette. Me: "Ummmm, what do you mean?" Him: "Oh don't get all bent (he stole that shit from me too!) I am just saying you have the potential, I haven't loved anyone in a long time or even met anyone for that matter, that I felt could bring that out of me, and I can see the possibility of that happening with you, that's ALL I meant." Me: (still need just a wee bit more clarification): soooo you are NOT in love, right?" Him: "Hell to the NAW (okay, STOP thief, he stole that phrase too!) girl now chill out! I am just letting you know how I feel, see you ask for honesty and when you get it you can't handle it! That's what's wrong w/you women!" Me: Phew! Thank the Lord, "Whatever nigga, don't ACT like the shit ain't possible b/c if that's where I wanted you that's where you'd be, but I was about to pull out my receipt and take yo ass back to the mall (you know like Kells, "a dawg on the prowl when I'm walking thru the mall" lol, I like that line)!" Him: (laughs) "Shanette you are by far the weirdest chick I have met thus far, chill out man (clearly his fav thing to say), love is a good thing, you need a little love in your life, that's your problem, you are hard as a rock, but I know the truth, you are just dying to melt that icebox aren't you, and I don't mind helping you do so!" Me: (he's so lame!) "Uh huh you prolly right, but I'm prolly not, at least not today shit nor tomorrow for that matter!" Him: (laughs) "uh huh, keep talking shit." (He said some other stuff that I choose not to include, thanks) Me: "I know ; ) and you lubs it, well no wait...you likes it!" LOL!

So what did we learn today:

1) Shanette is not looking for love, but does that mean she is afraid it...maybe, maybe not.

2) Shanette is not into games!

3) Shanette is so sincere, you should try it out you might like it!

4) Shanette likes HIM, but that's about as far as it goes @ the moment, hell tomorrow I may not even know HIM...I mean I'm just saying man...my ass is unpredictable!

5) Shanette values honesty, however she tells the occassional lie...I mean come on who doesn't?!

6) Shanette does what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants! Now I am not saying that's okay, but I am saying that's me right now on today, @ this time in my life, thanks!

That's all for today folks...I'm beat! Actually this post was supposed to be about something completely different but clearly the Holy Ghost led me in a completely different direction (lol you know how black folks always talking bout the Holy Spirit led them somewhere, girl that was yo ass that led you not no HG, stop using the Lawd for an excuse), so anyways maybe next time...I'll get to what I originally had to say.

Side note: Damn man, may I just say I am by far the horniest person I know, Jesus Christ! I need help! I am in an astronomical amount of pain and all I can think about is getting laid...again, I need help! I surely hope these folk don't be talking about they are limiting my rigorous activity, b/c now is NOT the time for me to be abstinent, NO thanks!

Okay and on that note I'm off...to sleep...alone and horny : ( DAYUM GINA!

Nite & POB!

~S. Parks

(this post was brought to you in part by Lil' Flip)