Stupid September!

Can I just tell you guys something?! Really??? Okay, here goes...
September has been the worst fuckin month EVA!
I mean like really!
Its been so bad that I can't even cry about the shit!
That's how you know shit is bad when you've just zoned the fuck out, suck it up, and deal, like the shit is okay. Well gotdamnit! This shit is NOT okay! FUCK! I need vacay man, like yesterday! A massage like 3 weeks ago, and some head like a month ago! Real talk!
I mean. Shit is bad. The fam is crazier than eva. I'm on the edge man...I'm on the mufuckn edge. Swear to God. Don't gimme a reason or I'm jumpin the fuck off...not really...but you know.
*sighs*
Then I have had like 75 (BAD) encounters w/exes! Its like revenge of the fuckn ex! The hell?! GO A WAY! BEtta yet...Imma go away cus clearly I'm the fuckn prollum! CLEARLY!!! SHIT!

First...saw punk bitch dawg married ass C. Que, often referred to as the ex. Ugh I was so thoroughly annoyed by his presence. I mean like I lit wanted to vom! He was so outdone that I wouldn't give him the time of day. "No bitch! I'm ova yo dawg ass. Fuck you & an yo GOOD dick!" (LOL!) I swear to god I think I hate him...is that a sign I still have feelings for him??? I doubt it. But maybe. Not like "I wanna be w/him" type feelings. Just like "I still can't believe you fucked me over, cus I really did love you" type feelings. Always a possibility. Anyways. Seen dat nigga twice. Both times I skedaddled. I swear he just does NOT get it! I don't think he ever will. I could be married w/4 kids (please lawd! NO!) and dat nigga would still try me! Ugh! He's so fuckin egotistical! YUCK! Anywhoo...that was about the jist of our encounters.

Movin on...

Not sure if I've ever mentioned this guy, B who I was once friends; we got intimate & shit got crazy. Basically we've been friends since Junior High. We kinda lost touch in highschool. Even more so in college until one time I went to ATL for NBA All-Star weekend & we spotted each other amongst the enormous crowd of black folk! He was going to Morehouse. I was @ Dillard. We vowed to neva lose touch again (awwww). No really he was a really cool guy. So I was excited to see him and catch up and stuff.

Next time I saw him was about 6 months later in Memphis. Out. We had been talkin alot via e-mail and stuff. Just reg catch up chat. Well...this time he was kinda extra in my face. Kinda extra touch feely. I felt kinda weirded out but I blamed it on da liquor. Until...later that night he texted me and it wasn't a regular "how you doin" text...more like...how YOU doing (like Joey from Friends). So anywhoo...he kinda hooked up. The next day. I was like "aww shit that was not a good look Shanette." Well no IT was good but the fact that we did that...we didn't discuss it first...or nothing. But it seemed cool...he didn't trip & neither did I. This went on for like 2-3 years @ random...not often @ all...b/c he lived in the A & I was in the N.O.

Then he got a girl (she is a straight nut basket btw-from Cali-so you know how they are!). They got serious. We talked less. I got involved. It got serious. We rarely talked. Then I went to ATL and we saw each other out. We were both in limbo w/the "boos" so...you know how that turned out. Anyways...lemme get to the point...last new years he invited me to the A...mind you he's engaged...so I'm ALREADY set-up for failure. As I've stated b4 though. I don't do niggas w/gals. Like I'm not even the least bit attracted to that shit. I mean you know how they always talk about women who are SO attrcted to a nigga that's "off the market." Well not this one. Aint shit cool about fuckin a nigga you can't have whether you want to or not! That is whack as fuck and pretty gotdamn desperate if you ask me! Maybe I just think I'm haute shit. Yeah. Maybe. Humph.
So anyways went to the A for New Years right. Okay. Introduced me to his friends/bizness partners. MELIKEY! So I'm like HEY! No disrespect but you know...Imma do me! Well guess not if this bitch ass nigga is cock-blocking ALL fucking day & night! The hell?! He toting me around like I'm his armpiece and shit! "Oh lawd, help me, help me please!" That's what I was thinking but I remained cool! UNTIL this nigga hauls off & KISSES ME...ME...IN THE MOUTH...IN PUBLIC!!! I almost had a paroxysm in that hoe! "Oh JESUS, LAWD ON HIGH, WHY ME LAWD WHY ME?!" Lets get some shit straight. I don't like pub affection. No thanks. I kinda don't hardly like kissing. Bag up! Then this bitch not even my nigga "What in the holy hell are you doing sir?!" He talkin bout he "got caught up in the moment!" "Bitch you betta get up in that crazy bitch you just asked to marry you! Cus I aint the one...and that hoe has already tried me once! She might be crazy but I will get w/her crazy ass, if she gets wrong! Don't even...!" So anyways...night goes on...I got W A S T E D! So on the drive home...as we pull up to his house...he stops me like "Hold up, I really need to tell you something." I'm like "tell me in the house man! I have to relieve myself!" He's like "no, this can't wait...Shanette...I...I'm in love w/you.

Me:"29ue93ifajfjvhih9uf04Q3PRJFIEWJDJBFUSGW8yr30qrofeks/a*l.ojkl,9uhgn*YDvz9!!!" That's me actually having a conniption...so much so...that I vom'ed all in this man's G-wag! (HA) Poor wag! Naw but fa real. I did hurl. And I ran in the house. Hoped in the shower and jumped into bed...the guest bed, thanks! Not muttering a word. Next morning. Got my ass on the FIRST thing outta that hoe. Do ya hear me?! I don't fucking play around w/no gotdamn love shit man! I be scurred of that shit. Esp if I don't feel the same way...and I do NOT! He was callin, and calling, and calling, and texting and e-mailing! I was like "let it go brother, just let it go! I need time to even fig if Imma still be yo friend eva again in life!" That was January 1, 2007.

Fast Forward...September 21, 2007.

He calls. I don't answer.
He texts: "I'm in town, can I see you? Just a friendly dinner. Sushi?"
Aww damn...Sushi! My weakness!
I reply: "Aight. Coo. See you in a few."

He smelled yummy. Looked even better. DAYUM! Too bad I was looking the best! HA!
We ordered. Made small talk. The weather-lit. The current events. Football. Etc.
Got personal. How he & wifey are doing. Nope not married yet. He gave me an invite. I trashed it on the way out..."WHA?! I don't need that shit...I aint going! Why?! SO that bitch can be lookin @ me all sideways?! No fuckin thank you!" Its December 8th. He seemed excited. Weird. Anxious. I told him I wasn't coming but I'd send my gift. He said "I fig as much." I said "Good!" Then he asked about me and my life..."has anyone tamed you yet?" I said "Negative...next topic, thanks!" He laughged, nervously. Food came. We ate. Drank. I was a little tipsy. AS was he. *aww shit!* Here comes the Bullshit! He asked "why'd you run from me???" I said "wth did you expect me to do, say I love you back, kiss you and we make passionate love all night?!" He laughed, "No, but I @ least thought we could talk about it!" Me: "Why nigga, I was on like 12 shots of patron. I wasn't tryna talk about shit but them sheets homey!" Him: "Well you could've @ least let me explain. I wasn't tryna conquer you. I was just being honest!" Me: "Conquer me?! WTF am I a gotdamn quest?! Nigga please! I know you! And I know how much you like that nut basket bitch you marrying and I know you don't fucking love me...you might love HER (as in the girl between my legs-Ha! tHAT COMEBACK-toldja!) but, no you don't love ME! I ran for YO sake as well as mine!" Him: "Yeah, I know. I was so caught up! I really do think I love you, but I KNOW I love her (his nutty fiance')." Me: "Yeah I love you too...but I don't LOVE love you! I mean you know...you my nigga but you scurred the shit outta me w/that!" (Seems like errthing is going cool huh? Hold on...this is where shit takes a turn for the WORST!)Him: "So you never thought you were in love w/me?!" Me: "Hells fucking no! I know how to handle my emotions...I'm not a lil bitch...no pun intended!" Him: "I'm offended. I think you're lying. I don't believe you. It was more than just sex. It always was! Me: "Nigga iz you rollin or do you just WANT me to cuss yo ass out and hurt yo feelings?! 1st: the sex was NOT GREAT enuff for me to even get on that level of delusion. 2nd: you not even my type. 3rd: I fucked your friend homey!" That last one wasn't supposed to come out...blame it on the liquor. I could tell I struck a nerve. He started to twitch. The waiter came w/the ticket. He grabbed it and jetted towards the door. I looked around like "did this nigga just throw a fit?!" I checked my gloss. Retouched. Slipped on my shoe. Grabbed my purse & keys. Headed towards the door to find him outside crying like a BITCH! I laughed. "B, are you seriously crying homey?!" Him: "Shanette you are a horrible fucking person, you don't even know how much I care about you. I'd leave her (nutty fiance) for you, I'd give it all up for you (y'all should see my face). I just don't understand what a nigga has to do to be "dat nigga"!" I swear to god. I travelled outside of my body. Looked @ myself. Pointed & said bitch run for the hills. This nigga is nutz. "IS there a camera around?! Cus this shit is NOT real! WTH are you talkin about man?! I neva knew you was tryna be w/me like that. Hell. You aint neva say shit! Then you get a fiance' and I'm posed to be impressed cus you say you love me. Hell fuck no. Who do you think I am?! I aint none of these...blah blah blah!" He wigged out. Said fuck me. Hopped in his ride and jetted. I stood there in sheer and utter amazement. "WTF is this life I'm living?!" I thought to myself. *sighs* (I'm NOT that bad either, fuck him! He's a nut job! FA REAL!) Then he texted me this morning talkin bout "Sorry, he went off but I hurt him." I disregarded, honey...I aint got time for coo coo for cocoa puffs shit! GTFOH!
Man fuck these hoe ass niggas. I swear to god I was born into a generation of lying ass bitches and weak ass niggas! I'm better the fuck off A LONE shit! They all garbage! Niggas get a grip! Bitches get some dignity! I mean I'm jus saying. I'm sawry but I jus can't let niggas do whateva the fuck they want to me...hells no! I don't need y'all. Next thing I know. They'll be askn me some shit like be they serrogate mother, or counsel they marriage, or let me live w/you while we work shit out...you know? Some crazy Michael JAckson (Off the WAll) type shit! ...and I just can't do it! I swear to god! I can NOT!


...and on that note...I'm out...

Until we blog again...I'll be looking forward to October...@ least Fall's here! Thank God!

L8R homes!

~Sdotter!