I'm the Prollum...

Okay, it's me...I realize. I confess. I digress.
I'm the prollum...but guess what I don't give a fuck!
I don't talk shit. I'm pretty quiet matter fact.
Yet I'm to blame for all the pain & never cut an ounce of slack.
Okay...so I'm the prollum...I get it now.
My tongue is sharp. My words quick.
Harsh but sincere. To your skin they stick.
I'm unaware of my effect.
Until its too late & my words I regret.
Or not. Really.
I mean well. The delivery is just off.
I'm honest.
I'm melancholy.
I have slight asshole tendencies.
I'm me.
I feel.
I cry.
I laugh.
I have weak moments.
I'm me.

Change is weird.
I'm not a fan.
I've changed enuff for people & situations.
Some good.
Some bad.
I'm not changing anymore.
I wuz who I wuz b4 I got here.
If you don't like it...do what I do...relieve yourself.

I am commited to no one.
No one is commited to me.
I fear commitment.
Too much pressure.
I'm sorry "2nd chance" I'm just not ready.
Ready for you.
Ready for me...you're not...you just think you are.
I'm a task and I know that...but I'm free.
Free to be me. In a world where being you is...well its...Golden.

So if you find that I'm your prollum.
I'd advise you to relieve yourself for I am living...my life like its Golden ; )

As long as I got my Mommy & Jesus...I'm straight, like T.I.!

I love my friends.
I love my family.
I just love me more.
What's wrong w/that?
I gotta be this way to get me together.
If I don't...who will?
Eggzactly.
No one.
Not you.
Not them
Not her.
Not him.
Me, myself & I.
Nobody can match my hustle but me.
Nobody can understand my struggle but me.

Can't continue to live my life always putting myself out there for others!
Or can I?
Is that my life?
Huh God?
Is that my destiny?
To dedicate my life to the betterment of others?
At the cost of...my sanity.
Though I hope not. If it is. I accept.

...and w/that I'm blowing...like the wind...until we blog again...I'm going to pop a Xanax cus y'all tryna drive me nutz!

~Shanette