The eX-factor!

I was really trying to deny myself this post but I just can't fight it! I really, kinda don't want to seem...seem...human...I guess.

Here goes...
Had a dream about the ex, about a week ago. Nothing too major or mind-blowing. Simple. Basically. I was in some foreign country...couldn't really see the other people that were around but there were people. I know I was in a foreign land b/c I could not understand anything that was being said. I was walking down the street...saw a familiar face but couldn't fig. who it was...turned around. Crossed the street. Tapped his shoulder. Guess who? Yep...him. I was delighted to see him (in the dream). We hugged and kissed. I liked it. We chatted. not sure what about. We exchanged numbers and said we'd keep in touch. Said our goodbyes. Hugged and kissed again. He scurried along. Nostalgia. Slowly walking the streets...thinking about Bilal's, "Reminisce".

That's all I can recall.

Hmmm. Now what does that mean??? Not sure.

I don't know how I feel about him. If someone was to ask me right now how I felt about him I would say "I don't feel anything w/a tad bit of an 'ugh' undertone."

So...here's the only thing I can come up w/its the Sex-factor. He was pretty awesome. Maybe even the best. The first. Well-balanced. Consistent. Overall 10. Easy. So yeah that could easily be the cause. B/c a couple posts ago I hadn't had sex, and I was going thru Step 2: Withdrawal rapidly approaching Step 3: Insanity, but that all came to end on Friday evening, but that's neither here nor there. So yeah...thinking that's the reason I've been so nostalgic these days. I don't miss him, I don't think. I miss the consistency, the goodness, the comfort, the contentment of being w/him on an intimate level. It was perfect. Seriously, it was. Rightfully so, every other aspect was the fool! Real Talk! We (look @ me...I've come so far) had issues!

Side-note: As a result-I've been listening to that Van Hunt again (don't sleep on him btw-he's what it is!) That album really reminds me of the ruff times! Woo wee and was it RUFF baybE! GOTSDAMN! So here's his vid to help you better aquaint or remind yourselves of why he's da truff! http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjqtmfBeyjI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fclutchmagonline%2Ecom%2F

Don't get me wrong. There was a time when he was ALL THAT-whatev that is...he was it! I was madly in love, not dangerously but a little mad...you know...crazy in love. I was def. crazy for that one...sheesh....nice come back S dot! He was not all a bad experience, however. He along w/the horrific break-up taught me a great deal about myself, men and relationships-mostly good teachings-not all but most. For that I'm happy I "knew" (I use that term loosely) him.

I will say this though if he could really get his self together as far as his issues w/his self he'd be a really GREAT man. No bullshit. Not my man. I don't relive the past. But he'd be a great man to someone. Hopefully he's working on that. I also hope I did my share in helping that process along-although someone else is reaping my toiling. I know that one day I will be reaping the benefits of someone's blood, sweat and tears. Thank you in advance-btw ; )

I do hope he is happy though. I wish that for all the ex-es. There aren't many so I don't have to hope too much...thank heavens. I surely hope his ass don't try and communicate w/me though. I do know that I don't want to be his friend, no thanks. He doesn't know how. He has ulterior motives and I don't have time for the bullshit.

So...there it is...the eX-factor. I guess someone you've shared apart or in this case all of yourself w/its hard to say that person just no longer exists in your world, mind, heart, spirit-just b/c you are no longer together in that capacity, or talk often, or even at all. There's still that one thing like Amerie...memories from experiences which ignited feelings...and those are FOREVER.

Just think your ex is someone's spouse...lol...how weird is that...very! True though, very true. But. That will never negate the memories you've created-the good. the bad. and the ugly!

That's enuff...back to thinking bout my current lil boo (whom I adore btw) and my boos to come...ooh wee Essence! Get Ready Bitches! I don't love these hoes, man!

Hope to see you there...so...until then...

POB!!!

~S. Parks