Can I just tell you that yesterday, was one of the worst days I have had in a long time! And I should have known that it would be awful before I left the house b/c I was just all off appearance wise. My hair was greasy looking, I couldn't finish my make-up, my fit was off, I did NOT have it together by far! And from there it went D O W N (say it real slow) hill FAST! Stopped by Starbucks, like regular, to get my morning cup of Joe (I swear to god, its just ridiculous that I spend a whopping $3.39, daily for a mufucking beverage, then its a short @ that, the size that no one orders but me!), okay so get my WCM (skim, no whip) and as I'm leaving owt the door this dumb bitch rams into me b/c her idiotic ass is on the phone yapping and not paying attention to her surroundings. Of course I dropped my coffee, all over her HA HA!!!!!!! She was like OMGosh I can't believe this, I'm like yeah neither can I! Yo ass just spilled my shit and I don't have time to wait in line for another! Luckily the good folks @ Starbucks took care of me quick fast and in a hurry, so I was like whoo way to go Bucky's and fuck you white lady!
Aight on to phase 2 of the day: get to the office, my massa (also my bro. in law, and the only reason I actually tolerate working there) asks me to do a million things @ once, b/c his "real" secretary was a no-show. So anywho, he spills these orders and just expects me to run, jump, and do...well no I don't operate like that, when its something that I don't want to do and especially if I don't know what the hell I'm doing...my ass is moving slow as a turtle babey! So he was pissing me off, b/c I'm like sir, I have a degree in Biology, not admin assistance, nor do I have admin experience, I'm just here to help yo ass owt! So...I was just really annoyed all day then I left there and this nigga wants me to take the fucking work home and complete, I said uh huh okay, like always (when he asks me to do something and I either don't know what he's talking about or am just not going to do it). Got home and went to sleep chile. My nigga please, I love you, but now I know why Biggie says keep your family and business completely separated, the shit just don't work owt mane! However I knew I was having a bad day before I even got to the office so I just tried to chalk it up to that and keep it moving but shit just kept on going so fucking wrong, JEEZE my ass couldn't catch a fucking break!
Phase 3: Leave the office, on the expressway, a muthafucking filthy ass, garbage toting, piece of shit driving pick up passes me flying and releases a gotdamn garbage bag from the bed of the truck...the shit muthafucking flies onto my windshield, yeah can you believe that shit, I almost the fuck died man!!! That shit was on there for like 5-7 seconds (a long ass time, going 70 on the expressway), fortunately I did not panic, well until I got the bag off by turning on the wipers. Then I think it hit me after the fact that I could have died so I kinda started freaking owt. That was some scurry shit (as Boome would say); thank the Lawd I am alive to even tell you about it, truly blessed!
Phase 4: Get home, and for some reason I just breakdown...crying and really freaking owt. Why? I mean I'm not sure if it was the expressway that triggered it or the whole day but I just felt really saddened. I try not to let it but the reality of still being in Memphis is like literally un fucking believable! Since I've been a freshman in highschool, it was the one thing I was determined not to let happen yet it has and now I have reached the undeniable feeling of being "stuck." I cannot explain to anyone how much I despise this godforsaken city, I feel like I am literally living in hell (okay maybe not that bad but pretty close)! This was just not the plan, my life did indeed have a plan and this shit just wasn't it! That makes me quite frustrated! Trapped! Everywhere I turn there is a door slamming and window closing! Trapped! Errbody's having babies...AGAIN...and do I feel the obligation to assist...I'll never know! Trapped! Can't get no fucking job, can't save no money! Trapped! Can't get a transcript, can't get into grad school! Trapped! UGGGHHHH!!!!!! Resulting in a small meltdown!
Don't worry though I'm back off that bullshit! Crying is for punks! Gotsa get up and make some shit shake, you know. Guess I better take advantage of this time off and speak some things into existence. Use my resources, and just GO for IT<---whatever it is!!! I AM getting owt of here, TRUST!
So that was my rant for the day, I know it wasn't as entertaining today as my previous posts but I sometimes need an off day, like reg. folk. Actually I am going to take a social break b/c I been clicking owt on folk since Sunday (should have gone to church).
So POB!
Let me go pray for myself, if I don't who will?!
~S.
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