Dear God,

Remember that list I made like 10 months ago...so i was re-reading it tonight and laughed @ like half of the things on it...most of them are pretty ridiculous in that i even felt the need to include them in the list, however, whatever was going on @ that time in my life...i did just that...here's the list in case you forgot (which i know you didn't oh omniscient one) but here's a refresher, just for my sake...
Qualities I would like for the man that I marry to possess includes but are not limited to or stricken by the following…
(Not in order of priority)

Spiritual (pref. Christian)
Considerate
Appreciates the Small Stuff
Complex Mind w/a Simple Attitude
6 feet or taller
Smarter than me but not pretentious
Handsome/Debonair
Nice teeth (great smile)
Great Hair (not necessarily in texture but more so in presentation)
Great Body
Nice Eyes
Ambitious
Goal-oriented
Optimistic
Confident
Family-oriented
Sexual person meaning that he understands the importance of and enjoys doing so but also enjoys the comfort, intensity, and bond it creates with another person (Superb in bed)
Not addicted to Porn/Sex
Has no past/current history of STD’s
Maximum history 15 partners
Has never been with nor interested in same sex experiences
Patient
Cautious
Driven
Courageous
Athletic (pref. a professional football player)
Swim
Fish
Horse back riding
Golf
Chess/Poker/Spades
No Harmful Addictions
Small-town oriented w/ Big-city attitude
Tough (esp. w/ me)
Passionate
Open-minded but values his beliefs
Organized
Clean
No kids (maybe 1 (over 5 yrs. of age)
Likes children
Can/Likes Cook
Cultured
Likes (to):
i. Travel
ii. Read
iii. Museums
iv. Movies
v. Paintings/Pictures/Art
vi. Music
29. Employed (pref. a career)
a. Enjoys job/career choice
b. Is never complacent with current job, hence always looking to excel or branch out into new endeavors
Spontaneous
Fun
Nice hands & feet
Fashionable but not Flashy
Social drinker/smoker only (no cigarettes)
Chameleon
Has/working towards owning a home
Vehicle
Good Credit
Can dance/sing
Empathetic
Good Listener
Understanding
Humorous but not goofy
Emotional (as in understands the importance of conveying emotions well but is not an impulsive whiner/crier)
Bi-Lingual
Never been w/ another man (sexually)
Appreciates Strong Black Women
Good Medical History
Gentleman
Creative
“Man’s Man”
Always Smells Great (even after rigorous physical activity)
News Conscious
Upstanding Citizen
No Serious Criminal Record
Computer Literate
Has/Wants a Boat
Health-Conscious
Liberal
Democrat
Complimentary
Respects and wants to be apart of the sanctity of marriage
Has a good medical history and comes from a family with the same
Responsible
Loves God & Himself
Learns to love my family, my friends and ME.

...pretty intense huh?!-lol-not so much but pretty obsessive...i mean hey what can i say that's what i felt @ the time and prolly for the most part still feel that way but i'm a little more apathetic these days so half those things don't even really matter to me @ the moment b/c i can't even see myself married anymore...not to say i don't want to be, just saying right now i'm focusing on me, getting my life together...you know i can't be asking for all those things in someone else if my game isn't tight...right God...RIGHT!-lol

...so i guess i'm coming to you tonight b/c i been doing a lot of thinking and i consider myself a pretty cool girl, and while I have cheated on most my sig. others...I know I have been forgiven...right God? Ahh thanks, God, i knew you'd understand! So um yeah to be honest w/you i just need a good guy, you know....not too fast but not too slow either...just somebody by my side to help smooth that thang out...i mean he doesn't even have to have a BIG ole bank account just something well-porportioned to our lifestyles...huh? you say you found somebody? well where is he...ahh thanks God...You're The Greatest!

Amen...oh, excuse me, i'm sorry...ahlady!

patiently waiting w/open arms,

S. Parks!

Miscommunication...

This post is brought to you in part by "Miscommunication" from Timbaland's Shock Value album.

Okay so I was thinking, right, yep something I do more often than not...anywho...

Can friends, like real friends have sex and still just be friends???

I swear that question is worth like half a mill alone!

Here's my answer...I mean that is why you're here right, to get MY thoughts...k so herrrrreeeee they go....

I say, sure they can, but will things change? Definitely! Here's why...real friends usually discuss all aspects of their lives right? Right? so um...we are human, and its only natural, like real talk its only natural to attach feelings w/sex...i mean that was the original purpose of the act...

While most claim that they can detach the 2, I have found that those most are usually lying are have fallin victim @ least once...I mean not to say victim like oh you're being slayed-lol-but victim like "damn i wasn't expecting this and now i'm in some serious shit!"

So...how do I know you ask?!?! I was getting to that...I have experienced this on more than 1 occasion...none of which i have been the victim (yet), thank the Lawd and pass the peas.

Okay so let me run it down for you...this is how I have experienced this thing called "Lovers and Friends"...um only on 1 occasion did the lovers part "just happen"...all the other incidents we pre-meditated. I'll give a brief overview of both.

So scenario 1: the it just happened...that was actually okay...i mean it was a shocker to us both...and we kinda didn't chat for a minute afterwards (i guess trying to fig. hey did that really just happen). Once we did see each other it was actually cool...we were both w/a lil boo so you know...had to play it off real slick like. However, we decided that we didn't want to do it again for the sake of the friendship and our existing relationships....and we're still cool right now on today. So that one was a breeze...good....now this next one gets real sticky, and I actually thought these out...maybe that's what i get for thinking so damn much...but i can't help it!

Scenario 2: aight so yeah for the most i have been the one to initiate the lovers & friends thing. and I try to get a clear understanding of the situation before hand, you know. like i'm usually like okay this is how i am post-the act, i don't/do like the following, and most important are you CERTAIN you can handle this...are you fo sho?!?! b/c im going to be a real piece of work if this doesn't go as planned...i mean you're saying you aren't gonna catch feelings and all that jazz right..coo...now a few months later low and behold i got somebody telln me they love me (i just threw up in my mouth-btw). Man what are you saying?! and why are you saying it?! is that what you think i wanna hear b/c i promise you couldn't be furthest from the truth...i no wanna hear that...you are really putting me in a uncomfortable situation, and i don't like those...i mean really who likes complicated sex....I do NOT...pre-,post-, during...I don't wanna think about it I just wanna do it. all that extra is really turning me off!

Like seriously, i know it seems weird but i'm serious, no like seriously i'm for real! i told you i'm not like most girls...the "i love you" turns me off (i mean when i don't feel the same), the extra affection is so NOT needed, the weirdenss, the anything non-regular is NOT what I want here...prollums...and Scrap said it best, you don't want no prollums, esp. not w/me.-lol-no seriously...just ugh...nevermind!

See these are the kinds of things that makes me become abstinent for like months @ a time...its just too much!

So here is my bottom line i am no longer having sex w/my friends...i'm just not. like it alters the whole dynamic of the relationship you know...everything becomes about THAT, when is THAT happening, did you like IT...too much...complicated...sure i make things, well most things, difficult but sex is NOT one of them...works out better for my conscience (yes I DO have one of those).

So here's my suggestion: don't have sex w/your friends...like if you actually want to remain friends. however if you must, i'd say let it happen, don't talk about it and if it goes well once then you might be in the clear, if not STOP right there. keep the discussions to a minimum they becoming overrated, annoying, and counter-productive.

Yep that's all for today folks...so what did we learn today...sex+friends=a stickier situation than the actual act-lol-yeah i'm nasty-so what?! I told you about letting yo kids read the blog man, it ain't for them!

maybe i might kinda think about giving sex up again for awhile...wait...um...yeah...after the summer...yeah... after the summer ; )

and w/that I'm...GONE

POB

~S. Parks

why oh why???

...is errbody gettting hitched and catching (yes I said catching) preggers like its a cold?!

I mean I'm just saying...

Okay sure I have never just been the kind of girl who like planned that BIG day or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get married...that just means I never thought it was a BIG deal...but that could also be b/c my 'rents kinda hate each other (a whole nother post @ a later time).

I mean like ALL of my friends are getting married and having babies pre-25...I mean I'm not knocking it..I'm just saying when did that become like "in"?!

Okay sure I want a family...but on today???
Hell to the naw...like I can't hardly take care of Shanette let lone a little person whose life would be dependent upon mines...and def not keeping up w/no nigga.

I mean I value the commitment and sincerity of marriage, so its something I take rather seriously...hence I can't just be marrying for the hell of it...

Shit folk change errday...I just can't make that kind of LIFE decision right now...hell I cant even figure my own damn life out...

Shit I'm looking for my next vacay, next party, next boo, next any damn thing...I like my life its great!

So I guess they like their lives too, and if that's true then hey do ya thang!

I mean maybe I'm confused...or maybe I'm too shallow or something...

Sex, money(not like together), drugs(Iun even do drugs for real)...and alcohol...that's my life right now...and I'm okay w/that...

I like being by my damn self shit cus I can't mess up w/nobody but me...so much easier that way!

and on that note...I'm out...


POB!

~S. Parks

The Weekend Wrap-Up...S dot style

Guess who popped back into town last weekend and this time he neglected to forewarn me @ all period! Come on man, what are you doing...what are we doing???

Okay okay I get you're playing by my rules b/c I think you think that impresses me, but I'm not sure if you're doing it for you or for me...or neither...I mean yeah I told you what pushes me away and I reckon you're being considerate enuff not to do that, so that shows you care...WAIT...stop...yeah over-analyzing again...okay...moving on!

I just randomly (well not so much randomly...but I mean dayum he could have said "hey I'll be in town for the fight this weekend" and I would've replied "coo"...the END!) spotted him on Beale, Friday night...now you know me...hell I faked like I ain't see his ass, shiiiiittt..."I like you but I'm no fool brother...uh unh (you can't tell me nothing)!" So I say to myself...hmm..."what to do, what to do"..mind you I was w/Q ("J.O."), but he is so irrelevant...I'm not even sure why I just mentioned him...like he is so not a threat to anyone (well maybe in one area, *wink*, yeah man he gots you in that area "2nd chance"...sawry...Imma give you 1 more chance like Biggie, shit that's all I can spare, brother) Anywho...so..."2nd chance" spots me...he strolls up like butter and says "wuz hannen girl"..."WHA?! That's ALL you could come up with?! I mean did I miss something?!" He claims he called, but you KNOW Iun hardly believe that shit...I say did you leave a message, did you text...no and no ("you know you don't check vm's")...."well I check texts so tell that shit to the next loser!" He was like well "I apologize and we're here now so what's up, wait you and dude together???" Lol, no really I laughed (well more like chuckled), "um yeah we are, but not like that!" "Oh well like what?" "Like nothing, hell he here, I'm here, you here, errbody here, so...lets move on"-lol! So I chucked Q the deuce (btw I think he was lil po'ed, but hey me no care), I mean hell we met each other down there, so I'm saying bruh, chill OUT!

So we hung out for a lil while; I can't hardly deal w/large Memphis crowds too long...sawry! So I bounced...he was w/his homeboys so I didn't wanna cause no prollums! We hooked up briefly Sunday for brunch, it was cool....the end!

Nothing major...I'm back to chill mode w/him, and I'm glad..no awkwardness, no weirdness, no harshness or unnecessary sarcasms (I mean outside of my normalcy). So all in all it was good, aside from the minor, initial hurdle. But it was no biggie, I mean I've learned to not sweat the small stuff @ least pertaining to men...something new I'm trying out...maybe if I don't bitch them out, interrogate them, or give them an unnecessarily hard time they won't eff up as often...they (hopefully) will enjoy their freedom respectfully, still feel like a man, and YAY, we all win! Besides, he's NOT my man, anyways, so I have no rank, no pull, no clout...so hey what is the point in throwing a fit??? Just to show I can? Too much time! Too much energy! In the end...he prolly still won't get it...I mean its a fact "Men are just plain dumb!" I mean, no like really, they don't think so analytically, intuitively, and/or rationally like women...bottom line! So just like they think they are catering to our needs by being sensitive to our high-emotional state, trust we are catering to yours by acting like we're not as smart when we're really just dumbing down to not bruise your lil ego b/c of your lack of mental state (get on my level, hoe-lol!!!).

So that was my weekend...and trust me that was BIG shit...my life is so mundane man, you could clock that it! But oh just wait...next weekend is MIA and the following is NOLA!!! HA HA snitches, what you know about that?!

Uh Unh, YOU can't tell ME NOTHING!!!

I mean really am I not the best thing since Jesus, okay @ least since the first Micheal Jordan comeback...remember that shit, I swear errbody was all geeked up!
Took a sigh of relief, like "ahhh everything in the world is right again!" Yup...that's ME...and I can do that for you, if you just give in and lemme have your soul ; ) stop frontin, Pharrell, you know you wanna!

and on that note I'm out!

Good day, good people

~S.

What IS It?!?!

(this post is brought to you in part by Lil Webbie's "What Is It" from the Savage Life album)

I mean is it just me or are niggas acting so extra gay these days! Not like "my wrist broke" gay but like a female gay...like extra sensitive, emotional, and needy?! Ummm excuse me I thought that was my job, sir...hell now what am I supposed to be doing? Oh I know...being a nigga...ugh, whatev!

I mean What iz it?!

So this is what I'm saying...In recent months, in my dealings with the opposite sex, I have been finding that they are "catching feelings" rather fast or better yet doing that comeback shit. Lemme just take a moment to address this shit called "the comeback!" Which is when a nigga has decided to leave, split, cheat, move on, get married, become gay (not that has happened to me, but hey this is 2007 and that shit is quite likely to happen in my lifetime), basically an abrupt exit in turn leaving the woman in a confused state of disarray, and returning like didn't shit happen...and I ask yet again my nigga "Iz you rollin?!"

Like that shit is SO NOT haute, bruh! Girls, okay WOMEN, don't like that shit @ all...well hell I know I don't! I mean why the fuck would I want you constantly popping up in my life, whenev the hell you feel like it...as if I'm just your lil puppy dog or some shit that you pet on occasion!
Naw naw, you gots to fall back, better yet fall OFF, a damn cliff w/that shit! I mean not only does that make me feel I have NO control but it makes me think you have not a fucking clue, or maybe you think I don't have a clue.

Well the shit stops TODAY!!!

I mean sure I'm ALL that...whatever THAT is...wouldn't you like to know...or in this case wouldn't you like to know AGAIN! Well keep reminiscing like Bilal, bruh, cus the shit ain't hannen! Keep it moving lil doggies!!! Keep it moving!!!

Tell it to ya wife...HA...dumbass!!! I'm just saying..."WHY is she here Ike?!"

So back to the new edition dudes who are catching feelings so extra quick...fallin all in love and shit...boy yun even know me, shit yun know love either! Fall back! If that is your tactic of mind-control try it out on the next fool, b/c this one here ain't biting! I'm not impressed...takes a lot to impress me and that shit is not on the "Impress Me List"!!! I don't need anybody selling me the dream, hell I have a hard enuff time deciphering my on damn dreams let lone the ones you tryna sell. So keep on selling b/c I ain't buying my nigga!

So to all you ex's, former "lil boos", friends, j.o.'s (jump-offs), etc. find someone else to pop up on b/c I'm over it!

and on that note...I'm out!

Good day, good folks!

BTW, I actually created this post back in April...just now finishing it...so it doesn't apply to "2nd chance" ; ) my boo...oooh wee!!!