We Do It Again

Today's post is brought to you in part by John Legend's Another Again from his latest album Once Again.

What a coincidence that I would discuss my ex @ the same time that classic SITC (Sex in the City) "Lets be Friends or Something" episode comes on...I so love that episode, well I love ALL the episodes, but this one b/c it is so applicable.

This is not the ex that I often refer to as the Debil (actually I don't think I have ever referred to him as anything other than the ex but the Debil should be his name). So. No. This one is from SO far back...yet he's not the past. If you can understand that...if not continue reading while I attempt to explain our Complex Simplicity relationship(shouts out to TeeTee Mo aka Teedra Moses-there's actually a song that's on this album that reminds me SO much of the relationship of which I'm speaking-I'll use it as the Listen Up tomorrow).

He is from my ghetto girl days...lol...can you imagine??? Me either. LOL!
I wanted to be hood so bad! So DUMB!!!
Thanks heavens for time=maturity!
Anywhoo...
He. An around the way guy. Tuff. Hustla. Fly. Cool. Cute. OLDER!
Like 5 years older...not such a BIG deal now...but then I was only like 13. EEK! I know. I've always been rather mature for my age! (And NO we weren't fucking...cus I know that's what you thinking). Seriously we were just friends.
Friends first. He was like the coolest guy ever to me. Like the big brother I always wanted. At about 16. Things changed. We changed. I changed. It became more intimate (No. Still no sex. I was in the V-club until age 20, thanks-made it thru ALL my teens years & 3 whole yrs of college ...was that "TMI"...hmmm). Man was I in love...WOW! I swear I thought the moon and stars set on this nigga! We had/have more than our fair share of issues...mind you @ 16...he's 21. A full grown man doing grown man things. Let me explain to you a couple things: 1) He was a fa REAL. HOOD NIGGA! I can't detail his occupation...but its def complicated like Erykah Badu's Danger he was/is DEEP into the game...w/high rankings (Not glorifying his lifestyle by far...it caused/causes a LOT of our issues not to mention its just plain AWFUL). Yet...it was that very thing, I later realized, that attracted me to him initially. I was intrigued. It was the good girl gone bad syndrome. 2) As I stated I was rather mature for my age. So I made myself believe that as long as he was honest w/me. I would understand that he's a man w/needs. I wasn't ready (that's those Catholic School Girl Teachings kickin in). So he could handle his business as he needed to as long as he was up front about it. Well you know niggas...they will lie until they die baybay!
REAL TALK!!!

So anywhoo...I think that's enuff background. Is it not??? I was only intending to catch you up...not write a book-though I def could on this nigga!
Oh. Yeah. How we separated...um I left Memphis as did he. He goes wherever THAT life is honey...and I try to go the opposite damn direction. There were other factors involved but I know that had we been in the same city continuously those issues would have been irrelevant. That's how DUMB...I WAS!

He's an island boy now. Yes. We talk on occasion...bringing me back to my initial thought...he called last night...we hadn't talked prolly in about 6 months or so...yeah. That's how we are...and I'm fine w/that.

It was actually a really great conversation. Made me reminisce. I miss talking to him. Though we never really said much. He's not much of a talker unless its something he wants to talk about. Same w/me. Well no. I'll talk I just have to be in that kind of mood. When I am. I'll talk all day. Lol! I'm so weird--and I'm okay w/that. Anyways, I just miss our friendship pre-drama. Boy! Does he have a lot! I swear I'm SO NOT a dramatic person. OR am I??? Seems like a large portion of my friends have enuff drama to fill this blog for years and years to come. Yet. I seemingly have none. Or so I think...now people have labeled me dramatic but I think that's different from "having drama".
What you think???

Okay back to the topic of discussion. So today. Jack<--the ex (btw-that's his nickname not his real name). Breezed thru Memphis,like the wind, literally, he's gone now. That's what he does. While he was here though. He made it a point to see me. Surprise! Surprise! (not being sarcastic) b/c he does NOT do that often...make it a point I mean. He'll bs me-if I allow him-selling me the dream like he wants to See me oh-so bad! So yeah...anyways...we hooked...literally ; ) but I'll discuss that in a moment.

We uh went to Benihanas. His fav. I like it too. We went to Fox & Hound. Shot a lil pool (I'm not good @ all). Had a coup drinks.
I hadn't been out in SO long, it seems, esp not w/a boy...that I wasn't tryna impress. Though I rarely try to impress. But. I mean. You know? I can be ME all day errday w/ him...he luvz it!
Anywhoo. It was fun. You know? Like have you ever hung w/an ex who was your friend. And you're like man. I miss this. We should NEVER have gotten involved beyond friendship. Well maybe beyond sex...lol.

Sex w/Jack is so...different. Like Idunno. Its kinda weird. I guess b/c we were friends for SO long and it wasn't until like 8 years later or something that we even became intimate. So we didn't really know each in that sense. I think he was more surprised than me...HAHA...that's all Imma say about that. Though. Its good. Its kinda great even. He's far more open than he is in real life. However he is not like a nymph like most boys. I guess b/c his life prohibits him from being. Despite the perception. Jack is a very emotional guy. He loves hard...kinda like me. So to defend himself he plays that tuff guy role...and he plays it well...kinda like me *te he he*. So. Sometimes I have to do more work than I'd prefer...but oddly enuff I actually enjoy the work with Jack. Its kinda...like role reversal...see Jack's the only guy who can really just "put me in my place" so to speak. So he's the aggressor in the relationship. Though in virtually all my other dealings w/men. I'm the stand up kinda girl...which contrary to pop belief. I don't prefer. Well let me explain what I mean eggzactly.
I'm kind of an aggressive person. I like control. Slick a perfectionist. So. If something isn't done the way I want it. I'm pissed. SO...I will just do it myself to avoid any confusion. I know. Sometimes that can kinda be a bit much for a guy. It's one thing to know what you want another to be overbearing. So I try to tone it down. But. I have to see that you won't back down before I tone down. Does that make sense? Like I need to know that you won't allow me to control you. At that point I will say "Okay Shanette, he's a real man. You don't have to focus on upgrading...right now." But if you allow me to punk you. Shiiiit! I'll just keep doing it until I'm turned off...which doesn't take long. I mean I like a guy who has his shit together you know...or can you at least know what you want & maybe just not how to get there b/c I'm SO over molding & shaping niggas. So. In turn. They can let the next bitch reap my efforts! I have enuff of that to do in my own life. I mean. I'm jus saying. I'm like Loso, I need somebody to compliment me!
Now in the bedroom. I REALLY don't want to do the work. That is a time for me to lose control. I'm a very analytical person. But. In intimate settings I don't wanna think. Though I do. I don't wanna. But. If a guy can handle his bizness...take control...I'm good/satisfied.
So anyways...that's what makes sex w/Jack funny b/c I actually don't mind being in control, I kinda like it in fact. Its funny to see him so...out of his element...you know...well no you don't know, but just pretend you do...

I realized. Jack is like my soul mate. If there is such a thing. Not sure if I believe in that type of stuff but if I did. He would surely be the one. Its just that Jack is selfish. He's not not the marrying type b/c he's a cheater. He's NOT the marrying type b/c he loves himself too much. I mean not selfish like I wouldn't be well taken care of though sometimes he does trip on the cash flow "talking bout I need a job and to do betta!" Lol! So funny...cus that's what I tell other folk "DO BETTA!" See...we work...kinda...lol! I know w/all honesty that Jack loves me far more than I care to admit BUT he would never love me enough NOT do what he does and that's why we can never be. If that one thing wasn't there. We'd be like "IT"! Seriously.
Oh well.
It is what is. We are who we are. Like Jay said "homie you wuz who wuz fo yo got here!"...and I must say I concur. Which is why I'm done tryna upgrade niggas. Though I'm not settling. I'm just accepting people for who they are. If we work we work. If we don't we don't...and I'm okay w/that.

So yeah. I guess the "Ex Factor" isn't so bad afterall.
I ♥ LoJack!!! He's like my real life Young Jeezy...but cuter-in a grown man type way...lol...he'd be 500 if he heard me say that! ; )

So anywhoo...yep...Another Again...the never-ending saga that is Nette & Jack!

Until we blog again...

POB!

~Sdot Parks!