Forever & a day...

I know, I know...its been a while...just haven't been in the mood to write...well really I've just been lazy! Shame, shame!!!

Anyways, let's see...there's so many things I have to get out of my head...but 1st I'll start w/something Novi had in her status last week, that I commented on & she asked me to elaborate on here...so here I go...

She said or quoted "you can close your eyes from the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart from the things you don't want to feel."

Now you know I disagree.
I definitely feel like you can control your emotions to a certain extent. Sure somethings just happen & you get caught up & feelings just rush over you like a tidal wave...but really how often does that happen...sounds more like an orgasm than falling in love anyways & actually I'd prefer the 1st as opposed to the latter.
Anyways, sometimes people create these fantasies in their heads & they play them out in real life & find that that shit they made up in their head ain't hardly not real. Its like you want something to be real so bad, you actually believe it is or it can be & that may or may not be true.
I mean what if its your mind talking rather than your heart...or frankly what if its your sex drive talking rather than your mind...& vice-versa. I mean how do you know when its really real??? That's why I keep my love locked down baby & when I say I keep it locked tight...its SUPER tight, Jesus prolly be looking for it every now & then (joking). I just don't believe people when they say you can't control the heart...it does what it does & I suppose those same people don't believe me when I say that I can & do control my shit ALL the time.

You know what I'm not anti-love...in fact I love is absolutely beautiful but in the wrong hands its deadly & I just can't have the vitality of life dependent upon whether someone can/can't control their feelings...so you know what I do the work myself...I work extra hard to control my own damn feelings. That way while you're off drop feelings like its bird shit on every one's soul, I've got the armor of God shielding that shit (you'll prolly get that l8r, ponder awhile)!

I'm just saying who can you trust these days...sure my soul, as Bey, would say is cold, but I'd rather it be cold than sold chile...& by sold I really mean stole...n...

When you trust others with your most prize possession like your soul or your heart & they get in your mind, well what else do you have left, how can you know what's real & fake, what's better or worse, what's right & wrong...when its time to give & when its time to GO!
Idk, & I'm still a work in progress, I guess as my trust grows in the Lord I won't be as concerned about man, b/c I know @ some point in life everyone lets someone down & that's just real but when you have Jesus, all that other stuff really don't matter. Of course we will still be hurt & disappointed & disgusted, but thank the Lord it won't be the end of the world!

All I'm saying is watch who you give your ♥ to, b/c they don't always give it back...

~S. Parks
(look Novi...I got trust & the heart thing all in 1...sweet!)