Wal-greens Peppermints!

This has been the most unstable summer I’ve ever experienced in my 24 years of living.

It’s been just short of awful. Though I try not to complain, it’s difficult to not think about my situation as it is vs. what I think it should be.

It’s hard to grasp that I am still in such a “dead” place, when all I want to do is live.

I just want to be.
Free. Independent. Self-sufficient. &. Happy.
I wonder if that’s too much to want.
I think not.
I think there is so much more to my life than even I can’t imagine.

I’m so nervous about this 25th birthday that’s rapidly approaching in just shy of 2 months.
That alone is lighting a serious fire under my tail.

True…things could be worse…but to me this is pretty bad.
I can’t think of worse…for me though (but that's not say I wanna see any worse...Lord Have Mercy!!!).

I’m happy summer is coming to a close, but I’m disappointed I’m still in place I promised myself I would be gone from by this time. Clearly God has other plans. Or maybe I’m not being very cooperative on my end. Whatever the case…I’m seriously on my shit from now until that fine day.

At this point I will go anywhere…do pretty much anything to get away from here.
I can’t really explain properly w/o sounding ungrateful or negative, how bad this sucks, or how miserable I am.

I know that I have a good life. I know that I am blessed. I know that I am rich.
If only my interpretation of success would align itself w/my current status…I might be okay.
If only I would appreciate more & complain less.
If only I would see now my life to come & subtract myself from the obvious…I might be okay.
All I can do is work harder. Stay focused & pray. That’s all I got.
Cus in a minute I’ll be in somebody’s mental institution.

I should probably go back to the library. Feed my mind. Organize my thoughts. Write more. Get a handle on the things I want, need, & must do in order to be where I need to be. There is a lot that I need to work on w/myself…so I guess while I have plenty of time…I’ll do me & eat my Walgreens peppermints…they & God & idiot-Karmen have helped me cope w/my Summertime Blues!

I know life ain’t always easy. I know this b/c mine has been far from such. I motivate myself by saying my future life has to be great b/c this current & past life has surely been a rough one…my strength amazes me sometimes…God amazes me all the time!

On that note…enjoy the rest of your summer & I’ll try to do the same.

BE. FREE.

~S. Parks

Haute/Not!

I stole this idea from the good folks over @ Chic & Untroubled!

Its like a list of what's in/out...

So I made my own list...cus you know my motto...I'm haute, you bitches ain't hardly cool! :)

Aight...so...let start w/NOT or Not so much:

1. antm...as much as i ♥ eva-diva & a few other winners (& contestants)...antm is so not haute...anymore...give up the ghost tyra!




2. having babies & getting married...what is this 1945?! (celebs included)




3. jesse jackson-gtfoh sir & all u other uncle tom muthafuckas...there's a new sheriff in town...i'll tell u about him l8r (ref:haute list #5)!




4. this weather! GOTSDAYUM!!! Its hot as fuck outside!!! Go away Summer-come back another day!




5. & last but def not least MEMPHIS-Lord help me on today & every other I reside in this DUMP!!!

Honorable mention-& even this hurts my (invisible) feelings, Beyonce'-yes boo...you thru (not really-we just need a break), now go sit down...we'll miss u though, come back to us in 5!
btw-is Solo aka Solange on the up & up??? Hmmm...

YAY-Hautes-I'm better @ these:

1. the cw-yep i stole it-i couldn't not! They are on the come up-i'm anxiously awaiting September & all my oldies but goodies that shall return & all the new shit poppin...well 90210 is not really new, now is it? "stylista", seems cool though, i'll give it a go, in spite of tyra-she gets on my nerves-but i can't knock her hustle.




2. RIH-RIH!!! Okay. Isn't obvious, she's so on the up & up. This bitch's style is raw & that's all I got to say about that! (oh I like her songs too-sometimes-lol)




3. yellow-its fun, its warm (in hue), its haute....buy you some-if you're afraid-start slow w/nail polish (my nails are actually lime green today...oooh YUMMY!




4. colored pumps...i'm telling u wear a different, random even, colored pump w/your suit (i'm talking to girls, obviously) & watch that bitch work. head turner! oooow!




5. OBAMA-& that's all I gots to say about that-you better act like u knew!
   

*Honorable mention-boys who aren't afraid of girls like me...i love it!
**Honorable mention ii-blue-i've never been into blue, but i swear its making a serious comeback...like cobalt...not navy though...it washes me out. (& purple's back too-i still likey...my Mom's fav color ever in life!!! She LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS it!!!)

So anyways, that my list...hope you're hauter than not, if not, do something about it!!!

Enjoy the rest of your haute ass summer :)

Cya

"I'm ain't kinda haute; I'm sauna!"
~WeezyF.Baby/The Carter iii

~Sdotter always making it hauter!

The Word for YOU, on Today!

"Don't let the world ... squeeze you into its own mould." Romans 12:2 PHP

Take Charge of Your Life!

Do you feel like you no longer control your own life? Like life's running you instead of you running it? That's because you're in the passenger seat, conforming to people, events and circumstances. They're in the driver's seat, not you. No wonder your frustration level is high and your contentment level is low. "Don't let the world ... squeeze you into its own mould." If you're feeling, "squeezed," you've two options.

(a) Remain a conformer, or become a transformer. Either choose to stay in the passenger seat, or get behind the wheel. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" (Rom 12:2 NKJV). Instead be transformed into the proactive, faith-driven person God meant you to be. (b) Take charge of your life by "renewing your mind." Instead of struggling to change the people and circumstances around you, change how you think and what you tell yourself. The Greek word for renewing means "to align your thoughts with God's." Abandon those self-defeating thoughts that tell you "you're not, you can't, and you'll never be able to." God says: "You are, you can, and you certainly will be able to," because of His indwelling power! John writes, "This is the victory that conquers the world - our faith" (1Jn 5:4 NCV). Go to God's Word! Discover what He says about the things that intimidate and control you, then pull the plug on them. The Word for you today is: "Don't be afraid ... I am your God. I will make you strong ... I will support you" (Isa 41:10 NCV). Align your thoughts with God's thoughts. Get into the driver's seat and take charge of your life!