While the song is blasting...
Empowered.
Inspired.
Motivated.
Committed.
Changed.
When the music fades...
The thoughts return.
The breaths shorten.
The tears fall.
The hope fades.
The misery lingers.
In just 5 minutes. Or 60. Or 90. Or however long you decide to listen to that song. Those lyrics. That melody.
Shortly thereafter the thrill is gone...gone? Gone where?
Gone with the wind, but I'm sure that's not the end. For you will listen again. Deciding right then. "This, this right here is the LAST time the very last time that you will enter my mind, again!"
But the music can't play all day...
Be (stay) strong.
See. Be. Inspire.
XoXo
~SRJP
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
What a difference a day makes...
Have you ever really considered how much can be accomplished in a day? I know we get caught up in our mundane lives & we think time is forever. Hence we put off that which should be done today, for tomorrow-which I've learned isn't promised. My mother used to tell me that, actually she still does..."never put off til tomorrow what you can do today." Which prompted my blog post for today. Each & every day for months I've been saying I would post something, anything...MONTHS later, here I am...with quite a bit accomplished.
I bought a new car & moved into a new apartment. I think I've mentioned before how obsessed I am with the concept of new. That quickly fades when the newness becomes so overwhelmingly consuming. I love my new car & my new place, but they sometimes remind me that the life of an adult isn't all that! I'm also back in school...working on my Masters...which everyday I hate more & more! Word to the wise, after undergrad-keeping going, no pauses, no breaks...trust me it's better that way. However, I keep treading along in hopes of my hard-work paying off some fine day!
As we know life is no walk in the park & sometimes it takes a bit adversity to get us to the newness that I fancy so much! With each disappointment, failure, & challenge that life brings opportunities are created, characters built & pathways defined. Isn't that exciting? I mean really isn't it exciting to know that trouble doesn't last always?! Seriously. While in Paris last month, I realized that the happiness I want is happiness I must create. No one is selling happiness, it's not given away, it's not even earned...it's created. The life you think you want, is the life you must create, simple as that. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but it starts in your mind. When you think small, you limit yourself. This applies to love, finances, dreams, just life in general.
When I think of where I've been, where I am now, & where I want to be, yes I get a bit anxious, scared even, but that fear drives me, while the past reminds me, that I am a work in progress. The life I want is a constant, ever-changing journey. While I don't know what tomorrow holds, I do know who holds tomorrow & as long as I'm in line with that I'm okay with the rest.
Much of what we do stems from what we think & the rest is what we've been taught to think. Each day we should try to think a new thought to sort of deprogram our minds so to speak. Break that mundane mentality. Intercept that routine. Challenge those rituals. Dare to be different. Explore you. Be free to express the changes. Be better, each day. Try to be better than the day before & watch the difference each day makes. It's pretty awesome.
Keep in mind that whether you're ready or not, life goes on with or without you!
See. Be. Inspire.
XoXo
~SRJP
I bought a new car & moved into a new apartment. I think I've mentioned before how obsessed I am with the concept of new. That quickly fades when the newness becomes so overwhelmingly consuming. I love my new car & my new place, but they sometimes remind me that the life of an adult isn't all that! I'm also back in school...working on my Masters...which everyday I hate more & more! Word to the wise, after undergrad-keeping going, no pauses, no breaks...trust me it's better that way. However, I keep treading along in hopes of my hard-work paying off some fine day!
As we know life is no walk in the park & sometimes it takes a bit adversity to get us to the newness that I fancy so much! With each disappointment, failure, & challenge that life brings opportunities are created, characters built & pathways defined. Isn't that exciting? I mean really isn't it exciting to know that trouble doesn't last always?! Seriously. While in Paris last month, I realized that the happiness I want is happiness I must create. No one is selling happiness, it's not given away, it's not even earned...it's created. The life you think you want, is the life you must create, simple as that. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but it starts in your mind. When you think small, you limit yourself. This applies to love, finances, dreams, just life in general.
When I think of where I've been, where I am now, & where I want to be, yes I get a bit anxious, scared even, but that fear drives me, while the past reminds me, that I am a work in progress. The life I want is a constant, ever-changing journey. While I don't know what tomorrow holds, I do know who holds tomorrow & as long as I'm in line with that I'm okay with the rest.
Much of what we do stems from what we think & the rest is what we've been taught to think. Each day we should try to think a new thought to sort of deprogram our minds so to speak. Break that mundane mentality. Intercept that routine. Challenge those rituals. Dare to be different. Explore you. Be free to express the changes. Be better, each day. Try to be better than the day before & watch the difference each day makes. It's pretty awesome.
Keep in mind that whether you're ready or not, life goes on with or without you!
See. Be. Inspire.
XoXo
~SRJP
Sunday, July 25, 2010
thank you & you're welcome pt. 2
An ode to exes:
Let me preface this by saying that I know everyone is different, but we're much more alike than we know, black/white, men/women, rich/poor. Hence I'm not comparing my exes. I'm honoring them for the lights they shined in my life during our stint(s) together. Everything isn't all bad guys. Clearly there were good times & though we aren't together anymore we have the option to not dwell on the negative & focus on the positive. Everyone likes to be appreciated whether the things were doing are part of the job or not...so even though some of you guys are jackasses, I managed to muster up a couple 'thank yous' for you as well.
Let's go:
Thank yous (b/c, for):
1) Your basketball shorts & over-sized tees. They bring me such comfort after a hard day's work.
2) Your arms. They made me feel safe.
3) Your chest. It made me feel like nothing else mattered.
4) Your $. Like coupons it saved me a ton!
5) Your deep voice. It made me tingle inside.
6) Respecting me. It made me appreciate being a woman.
7) Hearing me, listening to me & knowing the difference. It made me feel relevant, to you.
8) Considering my feelings. It made me feel important, to you.
9) Being my knight & shining armor, @ the time. It made me feel more like the princess that I am.
10) Your generosity. It made me recognize my worth & believe in it!
11) Most important, for showing me what I want in life, love & legacy (& what I don't). It made me realize this is not the end but only beginning of a life of love, something we all want!
***The great sex, I'm fortunate enough that all my past partners could put it DOWN in the bedroom-if nowhere else-& we all know how much of a sexual person I am, so that was important to me. It made me appreciate love-making.***
You're welcome for being allowed the privilege of being a component in my life. Your time spent has shaped & molded not only me, but more importantly you. To your future/current significant other, you're welcome, for that man that you have now, is significantly closer to being the man of your dreams, thanks to me! I would say thank you & come again, but unfortunately, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So we wish you well in all your future endeavors. God bless & be FAB!
♥
XoXo
~SRJP
*Slappy-Cookie-WifeyParks-Renea-T.O.*
Let me preface this by saying that I know everyone is different, but we're much more alike than we know, black/white, men/women, rich/poor. Hence I'm not comparing my exes. I'm honoring them for the lights they shined in my life during our stint(s) together. Everything isn't all bad guys. Clearly there were good times & though we aren't together anymore we have the option to not dwell on the negative & focus on the positive. Everyone likes to be appreciated whether the things were doing are part of the job or not...so even though some of you guys are jackasses, I managed to muster up a couple 'thank yous' for you as well.
Let's go:
Thank yous (b/c, for):
1) Your basketball shorts & over-sized tees. They bring me such comfort after a hard day's work.
2) Your arms. They made me feel safe.
3) Your chest. It made me feel like nothing else mattered.
4) Your $. Like coupons it saved me a ton!
5) Your deep voice. It made me tingle inside.
6) Respecting me. It made me appreciate being a woman.
7) Hearing me, listening to me & knowing the difference. It made me feel relevant, to you.
8) Considering my feelings. It made me feel important, to you.
9) Being my knight & shining armor, @ the time. It made me feel more like the princess that I am.
10) Your generosity. It made me recognize my worth & believe in it!
11) Most important, for showing me what I want in life, love & legacy (& what I don't). It made me realize this is not the end but only beginning of a life of love, something we all want!
***The great sex, I'm fortunate enough that all my past partners could put it DOWN in the bedroom-if nowhere else-& we all know how much of a sexual person I am, so that was important to me. It made me appreciate love-making.***
You're welcome for being allowed the privilege of being a component in my life. Your time spent has shaped & molded not only me, but more importantly you. To your future/current significant other, you're welcome, for that man that you have now, is significantly closer to being the man of your dreams, thanks to me! I would say thank you & come again, but unfortunately, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So we wish you well in all your future endeavors. God bless & be FAB!
♥
XoXo
~SRJP
*Slappy-Cookie-WifeyParks-Renea-T.O.*
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thank You & You're Welcome!
On the book of faces I saw this status in my news feed:
THANKs for....the first time we met, the friendship, being selfish, the last time we were together, passing me by,noticing,letting me think you're mine when you never were,for nothing but most importantly EVERYTHING!
My lovely friend Markita Miller.
Of course I had to comment (after a little thought & a crappy day-mentally):
As do I...thanks for...telling the truth, while being a liar...being a giver, while stealing my heart...listening to me, while never saying a word...loving me, while leaving me w/o an explanation! Thanks for absolutely nothing & you're WELCOME for absolutely EVERYTHING (BITCH)!!!
I told you it was that kind of day!
She (Ms. Miller) in turn followed up with an explanation about the initial status & couple 'thank yous' she forgot to mention:t
...thanks for making me realize that I AM SO much better than YOU and for making me feel like I was NO good. The things that make you embrace your worth huh guys.
Wow! Are you wowed b/c I'm nearly floored. The power in her last 2 lines took me some place else with the thank you note & I'm just now (2 weeks later) able to really dissect those thoughts & feelings.
That crappola day I had up there, comes & goes every few days. B/c every few days, I start to reconsider the reasons my ex & I parted ways. I start to reconsider the reasons we aren't back together. I start to reconsider the reasons why he doesn't call & barely texts. I start to then reconsider why does he randomly text & sporadically appears (ie on my damn Pandora station...thanks Facebook) right before my eyes. I start to reconsider what I could have done better. I start to reconsider what I should have done better. I start to reconsider what I said...what I didn't say...how I said it & how I didn't say it. I start to reconsider letting it go & moving on. I start to reconsider calling him & apologizing for what I've done. All the while...the Shanette I've always known is drowning in all that self-pity, guilt, bitterness. I don't know this Shanette.
I decided to reflect on that ultimate break-up which occurred about 4-5 years ago (I can't recall his nickname on here). Talk about devastation! My Lord! B/c I'm certain He is the only reason that not only I made it but he made it...to see another day. Not that you should compare break-ups b/c you shouldn't, just like you shouldn't compare significant others. It's just not fair b/c they don't compare. However for writing & evaluation purposes that's exactly what I'm about to do...only I'm comparing the Shanettes. The Shanette from years ago was so extra crass, gangsta-like, w/a real 'fuck you' attitude! The Shanette today consciously suppresses that Shanette. She recognizes that in order to be successful not just in relationship but life in general that emotionally scarred girl has to better cope w/her issues as a young woman. I said all that to say. My recent ex insinuated that I was still that girl-which I wasn't offended by UNTIL he suggested it was just who I was & I was pretty much incapable of changing. It is the 1 thing that literally pisses me off to no end, when I think of us no longer being together. In my eyes he basically gave up on me. He decided my fate before I could, in turn deciding our fate w/o consulting me. Now what gave him such insight, balls & audacity....no clue!
I have to ponder though why that notion upsets me so...is it b/c it is in fact true? Am I still trapped in that damaged (for a number of uncontrollable & controllable reasons) state?
I disagreed then & I'm on the fence now.
I can only be me, whoever she is...she is multifaceted.
Not one-dimensional. Yes, I am harsh & no that's not changing.
Yes I have & can have an absolutely despicable attitude but that's not a character trait its a coping mechanism.
This is when you learn about you but also when you learn about the type of significant other you need. Not that anyone should have to deal w/anything in particular...but I know I can't & won't deal w/being placed in a box...by anyone or anything. I have to have room to grow.
Here in lies the difference: The 1st Shanette was content & confused by him & herself. This Shanette is only confused by him. I know I'm not perfect by any means b/c I'm great by all means, including this break-up (POW!). Hence I'm reminded that in the end, I'm all I've got, when my man's gone, my money's low, & my friends are busy...I'm all I've got, me & the Lord...all I need, to get by! So I thank him, my recent ex, for reminding me that greatness can't be contained & not everyone is meant to go w/the flow of greatness, for it is indeed a trying journey, a roller-coaster of events, emotions, & transitions to say the least...If I were 5'9, you could say I had the soul of a 6'4 person, like T.I. ...but since I'm 6 feet anyway (giant to most)...I'm just being who I was designed to be & that's all I can be!!!\
Thanks again...& you're absolutely welcome for everything!
I am utterly the gift & the curse. The gift of having experienced such greatness. The curse of having experienced such greatness. .
On that note I'm greatly in need of rest.
Nite.
Remember to love God & yourself-the rest will take care of itself!
Who so ever can't get w/that can definitely get lost!
XoXo-
all the Shanettes...the great. the not so great. & the FABulous!
THANKs for....the first time we met, the friendship, being selfish, the last time we were together, passing me by,noticing,letting me think you're mine when you never were,for nothing but most importantly EVERYTHING!
My lovely friend Markita Miller.
Of course I had to comment (after a little thought & a crappy day-mentally):
As do I...thanks for...telling the truth, while being a liar...being a giver, while stealing my heart...listening to me, while never saying a word...loving me, while leaving me w/o an explanation! Thanks for absolutely nothing & you're WELCOME for absolutely EVERYTHING (BITCH)!!!
I told you it was that kind of day!
She (Ms. Miller) in turn followed up with an explanation about the initial status & couple 'thank yous' she forgot to mention:t
...thanks for making me realize that I AM SO much better than YOU and for making me feel like I was NO good. The things that make you embrace your worth huh guys.
Wow! Are you wowed b/c I'm nearly floored. The power in her last 2 lines took me some place else with the thank you note & I'm just now (2 weeks later) able to really dissect those thoughts & feelings.
That crappola day I had up there, comes & goes every few days. B/c every few days, I start to reconsider the reasons my ex & I parted ways. I start to reconsider the reasons we aren't back together. I start to reconsider the reasons why he doesn't call & barely texts. I start to then reconsider why does he randomly text & sporadically appears (ie on my damn Pandora station...thanks Facebook) right before my eyes. I start to reconsider what I could have done better. I start to reconsider what I should have done better. I start to reconsider what I said...what I didn't say...how I said it & how I didn't say it. I start to reconsider letting it go & moving on. I start to reconsider calling him & apologizing for what I've done. All the while...the Shanette I've always known is drowning in all that self-pity, guilt, bitterness. I don't know this Shanette.
I decided to reflect on that ultimate break-up which occurred about 4-5 years ago (I can't recall his nickname on here). Talk about devastation! My Lord! B/c I'm certain He is the only reason that not only I made it but he made it...to see another day. Not that you should compare break-ups b/c you shouldn't, just like you shouldn't compare significant others. It's just not fair b/c they don't compare. However for writing & evaluation purposes that's exactly what I'm about to do...only I'm comparing the Shanettes. The Shanette from years ago was so extra crass, gangsta-like, w/a real 'fuck you' attitude! The Shanette today consciously suppresses that Shanette. She recognizes that in order to be successful not just in relationship but life in general that emotionally scarred girl has to better cope w/her issues as a young woman. I said all that to say. My recent ex insinuated that I was still that girl-which I wasn't offended by UNTIL he suggested it was just who I was & I was pretty much incapable of changing. It is the 1 thing that literally pisses me off to no end, when I think of us no longer being together. In my eyes he basically gave up on me. He decided my fate before I could, in turn deciding our fate w/o consulting me. Now what gave him such insight, balls & audacity....no clue!
I have to ponder though why that notion upsets me so...is it b/c it is in fact true? Am I still trapped in that damaged (for a number of uncontrollable & controllable reasons) state?
I disagreed then & I'm on the fence now.
I can only be me, whoever she is...she is multifaceted.
Not one-dimensional. Yes, I am harsh & no that's not changing.
Yes I have & can have an absolutely despicable attitude but that's not a character trait its a coping mechanism.
This is when you learn about you but also when you learn about the type of significant other you need. Not that anyone should have to deal w/anything in particular...but I know I can't & won't deal w/being placed in a box...by anyone or anything. I have to have room to grow.
Here in lies the difference: The 1st Shanette was content & confused by him & herself. This Shanette is only confused by him. I know I'm not perfect by any means b/c I'm great by all means, including this break-up (POW!). Hence I'm reminded that in the end, I'm all I've got, when my man's gone, my money's low, & my friends are busy...I'm all I've got, me & the Lord...all I need, to get by! So I thank him, my recent ex, for reminding me that greatness can't be contained & not everyone is meant to go w/the flow of greatness, for it is indeed a trying journey, a roller-coaster of events, emotions, & transitions to say the least...If I were 5'9, you could say I had the soul of a 6'4 person, like T.I. ...but since I'm 6 feet anyway (giant to most)...I'm just being who I was designed to be & that's all I can be!!!\
Thanks again...& you're absolutely welcome for everything!
I am utterly the gift & the curse. The gift of having experienced such greatness. The curse of having experienced such greatness. .
On that note I'm greatly in need of rest.
Nite.
Remember to love God & yourself-the rest will take care of itself!
Who so ever can't get w/that can definitely get lost!
XoXo-
all the Shanettes...the great. the not so great. & the FABulous!
Friday, June 18, 2010
It'll ALL Get BETTER with TIME!!!
*today's post is brought to by Leona Lewis"
I love how music can always make me feel either better or worse...no in between, but I just love that it relates to me...& yes I meant to type it that way...music relates to me I don't relate to it!
Anyway I have had a roller coaster of emotions this week. I'm exhausted from feeling! So literally broke down on Wednesday & cried my eyes out, in my closet, on my hands & knees-asking God to take it all from me. As soon as I said those words I wiped those tears, stopped feeling sorry for myself, took back the control in my life, & decided things don't have to be this way. I thanked God in advance for His undeniable & everlasting love.
I'd rather not delve into the things that were weighing me down but I will say this, none of it was worth it! I can't make anyone love me the way I think I should be loved. I can only love me the way I should be loved, according to the way God loves me-I just said something there...let's examine. I wonder how many people actually realize that w/o understanding God's love for us, we are forever lost. At the end of each day, all we want is love & happiness, Al Green clearly knows his stuff, guess that's why he came a reverend-okay off subject...back on...I'm just saying that we put so much of our hopes & aspirations into others b/c we know very little about ourselves, what were capable of & who we really are ( I guess this is a continuation of my last post).
Sometimes you just have to reach a certain limit in life where you literally say to yourself "I don't want to do this anymore." To me that means, "I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!" I looked in the mirror last night & I simply said Shanette, you are so much better than these piss-poor choices you've made, these people you're around, these situations you're in...I am certain that this is not my life hence I'm changing it! Yep, I am in control, so I'm changing my course...actually I'm getting back on course w/God's plan & I know it'll all get better with time. How do I know? That I'm destined for greatness & designed with a purpose?
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
I know sometimes we like to take the easy way out. The cop out. The fear route. Well that's not the way. You have to go through a little something to really understand & appreciate that this thing is a journey, here to teach us lessons, to challenge us, to inspire us, to help us to help others, to leave a legacy, an imprint, a mark on the world. Now look at yourself, are you prepared today to leave your mark? What would your imprint be? Will anyone want to carry on your legacy? It's so easy for us to think that everything is all about us & our little problems are gigantic because they affect us greatly, but if we look around the world still goes on, so why not continue as we go on this journey with it's unexpected, unforeseen good and bad events...let's do it with some tenacity, some courage, some optimism & some style. I mean maybe, just maybe that will not only make it get better w/time, but be okay, today.
Be thankful, for what you have and what you don't...
Happy Friday Folks!
~srjp
I love how music can always make me feel either better or worse...no in between, but I just love that it relates to me...& yes I meant to type it that way...music relates to me I don't relate to it!
Anyway I have had a roller coaster of emotions this week. I'm exhausted from feeling! So literally broke down on Wednesday & cried my eyes out, in my closet, on my hands & knees-asking God to take it all from me. As soon as I said those words I wiped those tears, stopped feeling sorry for myself, took back the control in my life, & decided things don't have to be this way. I thanked God in advance for His undeniable & everlasting love.
I'd rather not delve into the things that were weighing me down but I will say this, none of it was worth it! I can't make anyone love me the way I think I should be loved. I can only love me the way I should be loved, according to the way God loves me-I just said something there...let's examine. I wonder how many people actually realize that w/o understanding God's love for us, we are forever lost. At the end of each day, all we want is love & happiness, Al Green clearly knows his stuff, guess that's why he came a reverend-okay off subject...back on...I'm just saying that we put so much of our hopes & aspirations into others b/c we know very little about ourselves, what were capable of & who we really are ( I guess this is a continuation of my last post).
Sometimes you just have to reach a certain limit in life where you literally say to yourself "I don't want to do this anymore." To me that means, "I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!" I looked in the mirror last night & I simply said Shanette, you are so much better than these piss-poor choices you've made, these people you're around, these situations you're in...I am certain that this is not my life hence I'm changing it! Yep, I am in control, so I'm changing my course...actually I'm getting back on course w/God's plan & I know it'll all get better with time. How do I know? That I'm destined for greatness & designed with a purpose?
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
I know sometimes we like to take the easy way out. The cop out. The fear route. Well that's not the way. You have to go through a little something to really understand & appreciate that this thing is a journey, here to teach us lessons, to challenge us, to inspire us, to help us to help others, to leave a legacy, an imprint, a mark on the world. Now look at yourself, are you prepared today to leave your mark? What would your imprint be? Will anyone want to carry on your legacy? It's so easy for us to think that everything is all about us & our little problems are gigantic because they affect us greatly, but if we look around the world still goes on, so why not continue as we go on this journey with it's unexpected, unforeseen good and bad events...let's do it with some tenacity, some courage, some optimism & some style. I mean maybe, just maybe that will not only make it get better w/time, but be okay, today.
Be thankful, for what you have and what you don't...
Happy Friday Folks!
~srjp
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