Possibilities...

Greatness.
The possibility of.
Fear.
Ever-present.
Change.
Is necessary.
Risks.
Are a given.
Success.
A matter of the mind.
Failure.
A matter of the mind.

It's a matter of choice whether fear overtakes the mind that changes because it's easier than being committed. Committed to the possibility of greatness. Greatness in being open to the possibility of failure. Failure goes without saying when it's a matter of the mind that chooses to not risk comfort for even the possibility of success. Success being indicative of growth-an intangible and personal change. Change the way mind sees risk. Risking the possibility of a moment of greatness for a lifetime of doubt, rooted in fear. Fear that what is real is a matter of the mind. Minding the heart is matter of honesty, a matter of courage, a matter of possibilities...

Out my mind? Again.

While the song is blasting...
Empowered.
Inspired.
Motivated.
Committed.
Changed.
When the music fades...
The thoughts return.
The breaths shorten.
The tears fall.
The hope fades.
The misery lingers.
In just 5 minutes. Or 60. Or 90. Or however long you decide to listen to that song. Those lyrics. That melody.
Shortly thereafter the thrill is gone...gone? Gone where?
Gone with the wind, but I'm sure that's not the end. For you will listen again. Deciding right then. "This, this right here is the LAST time the very last time that you will enter my mind, again!"
But the music can't play all day...

Be (stay) strong.



See. Be. Inspire.


XoXo


~SRJP

thank you & you're welcome pt. 2

An ode to exes:

Let me preface this by saying that I know everyone is different, but we're much more alike than we know, black/white, men/women, rich/poor. Hence I'm not comparing my exes. I'm honoring them for the lights they shined in my life during our stint(s) together. Everything isn't all bad guys. Clearly there were good times & though we aren't together anymore we have the option to not dwell on the negative & focus on the positive. Everyone likes to be appreciated whether the things were doing are part of the job or not...so even though some of you guys are jackasses, I managed to muster up a couple 'thank yous' for you as well.

Let's go:

Thank yous (b/c, for):

1) Your basketball shorts & over-sized tees. They bring me such comfort after a hard day's work.

2) Your arms. They made me feel safe.

3) Your chest. It made me feel like nothing else mattered.

4) Your $. Like coupons it saved me a ton!

5) Your deep voice. It made me tingle inside.

6) Respecting me. It made me appreciate being a woman.

7) Hearing me, listening to me & knowing the difference. It made me feel relevant, to you.

8) Considering my feelings. It made me feel important, to you.

9) Being my knight & shining armor, @ the time. It made me feel more like the princess that I am.

10) Your generosity. It made me recognize my worth & believe in it!

11) Most important, for showing me what I want in life, love & legacy (& what I don't). It made me realize this is not the end but only beginning of a life of love, something we all want!

***The great sex, I'm fortunate enough that all my past partners could put it DOWN in the bedroom-if nowhere else-& we all know how much of a sexual person I am, so that was important to me. It made me appreciate love-making.***

You're welcome for being allowed the privilege of being a component in my life. Your time spent has shaped & molded not only me, but more importantly you. To your future/current significant other, you're welcome, for that man that you have now, is significantly closer to being the man of your dreams, thanks to me! I would say thank you & come again, but unfortunately, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So we wish you well in all your future endeavors. God bless & be FAB!

♥

XoXo
~SRJP
*Slappy-Cookie-WifeyParks-Renea-T.O.*

Don't Call it a Comeback!

*in Wendy Williams voice* Where you been?!

I know, I know I've been mia for so long you probably thought I wouldn't return & I must admit I considered letting it go but then I remembered why I started the blog-to better my skills, to release some frustration & to entertain some people...so here I am back again, but don't call it a comeback!

So let's get it started...soooo much has happened...a whole season has passed & I must say to my dismay it's been a pretty good Summer! New Orleans for Essence. Jamaica wedding-not mine of course, but stay tuned-ha not really. Chicago, Il & Jackson Miss for family reunions! There has been a sour patch as of lately-my really good friend Karm moved to LA & it's been having me in the pits, but on the up side I have *insert drumrolls* a bf *& the crowd gasp*! Yes, yes, so I've been sort of busy in retrospect but not too busy that I couldn't blog-I've simply been too lazy to do so-which is quite out of character but hey it happens I suppose.

NOLA-

Essence was a total blast! My sister, Lynn & I road tripped along w/her cousin Bernard down to NOLA for about 4 days. Went to the shows Friday, well Saudia-my niece & I went to see Beyonce & friends...then Saturday my sister & her friends & myself went to see Maxwell & Anita Baker & friends...great nite. Hung out w/Nic & Madd a bit-she's so very grown btw-my #1! Ate my freaking life away! Shopped a smidge, drank a tad & just had all around oodles of fun! I was reluctant to leave-per usual but it had been so effing long since I'd been I was like wth was I thinking I must never go more than 9 months w/o a visit-that's just wrong! So anywho... ♥ NOLA!

Jamaica Mon-!

Oh gosh-can you imagine being drunk literally all day for like 6 days?! Insanity but the absolute best vacay ever in life! I mean really-liquor is in your rum, @ your disposal 24 hours a day! I lost like 5lbs pre-trip & literally gained all that back just in alcohol intake-fml!!! It was totally worth it though! I swear we were all drunk @ the wedding even-or hung over-lol! The ceremony was nice though, after much ado of course. The tourism attractions were fun. The shopping was great, the nightlife was poppin & the beach was serene...I swear I wake up sometimes just wanting a daiquiri & a _ _ _ _ _ & lay out on the beach all damn day...how sad but so sincere!

So yes if you haven't been to Jamaica I'd advise a trip, real soon & take me w/you-lol!

Let's see what else...

Oh reunions-

Both for my Mom's side of the family. The 1st was for her Mom's side & the 2nd for her Dad's side.

Chicago was nice but I have to go back to relly explore & shop & hang & shop & eat & shop some more, but it was great to see the fam once again-all was well- we lost the volleyball tournament, but they cheated-so typical-ghetto Chi-towners-lol! No really it was a blessed trip & I look forward to the next one in Detroit, MI-it's been a minute. Then we ventured to Jackson, MS-a looooong overdue reunion-like 20+ years...so basically I don't even recall another one! We had a really great time-getting to know everyone again & learning about our ancestors. We also ate good & hung out a bit. Good times, indeed. I'm so blessed I come from good stock, as country folk say. More so I'm blessed to have family & an gigantic family @ that...I realize that family is important as I go through life & I swear I would trade it for nothing in the world-as crazy as they are I ♥ my family!!!

KarmCharm moves to LA-

*deep sigh* I mean I knew she was leaving but I didn't know how much it would affect me. I actually thought it would encourage me to migrate but it did the total opposite. I became very lazy, sleepy & an alcoholic all in a matter of a week or 2, though she's only been gone a month it seems like so much longer. I'm just now starting to pull myself out of the funk & I'm not really sure what my problem is but I think I just feel stuck here...like my life in Memphis will never end & that literally depresses me! However, I can't let me current situation dictate my future-I must remember who I am & the purpose I serve or @ least the goals I've set & adhere to them, take back the control of my destiny & believe! It's time for me to apply to school so that is definitely going to force me to get it together-as I listen to "Get it Together" by Robin Thicke & Faith-I have so much to do in so little time-but good thing is I work best under pressure! Even getting back into the blog will ignite my fire! Though I would love to be in NYC right now-pursuing my fashion career-styling, buying, merchandising...I also know the shit doesn't just happen I have to make the provisions to get it done & honestly I haven't done the things I've needed to do to make move into the industry, but I'm working on it however I need my $$$ like NOW-so what does that mean?? It's time to go back to school & upon graduation-2014...I'm thinking I'll write a book by 2015. Open a boutique & start a shoe label by 2016...all before I'm 35-YAH YAH TRICK!!! Sounds like a plan to me!

I was also thinking when I'm done applying for PharmD, I could very well go to NYC from JAN-JUL & live it up before schooling it up for the next 4 years-it's a possibility...we'll see what happens! I'm remaining optimistic about the rest of '09! I've been blessed thus far, despite getting in my own damn way. God prevails-anyhow-so I figure I may as well step aside & let Him do His thang!

Last but not least-the bf-who shall remain called the bf until...we stop slick acting like Bey & Jay w/the extra discreetness-I'm just saying I don't need no extra drama-ugh!

A very pecular little transformation we made from associates-->friends-->lovers-->relationship status. I sometimes have a hard time believing how far we've come b/c it was so unexpected but I have found that things I'm looking for in the places I'm looking for them are not matching up & sometimes the things we think we want aren't all that important in restrospect. I'll just say I'm letting God control this one-I've tried to avoid it, deter it, sabotage it, & I swear I can't shake this one & I'm okay w/that, it appears to be good for me & I can use some goodness. We FIGHT hard & LOVE harder but we're strong in that we're growing & willing to make the effort & that's big-I think. He's good to me & I appreciate him for that...so whatever the reasoning we're together @ this moment in time may be a mystery but I'll take that as long we keep gettting better, individually & collectively. So anywho-cupid made a big ass fool outta my ass-the LoveH8r, ha...gotcha BITCH! We'll see how the days ahead unravel-I take them one day @ a time--pray for me ;)

Well I suppose that wraps today's post. I'll be in touch...sooner than l8r :-P

Until...remember Whose you are, & that @ the end of the day & the beginning-lol, you control your destiny!!!

Be. Great!

XoXo-

*SHANETTE RENEA*

*oh signing off w/a little inspiration from one of my fave people-Jay-Z @ the VMAs, w/my boo(no homo) repping for her mane (how you doin-j/p) in the audience-I ♥ them-individually & collectivelly!*

Unfoolish-"Know Your Worth!"

I felt like a fool.
Felt-the operative word.
Yes I've played the fool.
For what? For who?
For you?
It's so sad...it's funny.
I'm so sad...I'm hilarious.
But it's cool b/c everybody plays the fool @ least once.
Sometimes there's not even a decent explanation...sadder.

Women...we have it rough, but we make it rougher.
Settle for what? For who?
Settle for you.
Settle for the betterment of you.
Settle for you.
Settle for the triumph of you.
Settle for you.
Settle for the glory of you.
It's not worth it, but you are.

I can't even believe myself.
I can't believe myself.
Shanette the Great feels like Shanette the Fool...for no damn reason...saddest.
I'm disappointed.
With little gained & much lost.
I now feel unfoolish for I recall my worth.
I recall that @ the end of the day when your company kept has left all you have is YOU!

It's unfortunate as women that we are innate pleasers, even the toughest woman wants to please...her man, her mom, her chaps, her friends, her co-workers, her pastor...always forgetting herself.
Result in a loss of self...
Remember who you are & you will always be happy, whether you have pleased others or not.
Ultimately the only person worth pleasing is Jesus.
Know your worth-it's imperative in not getting caught up.
No matter how detached your feelings are & how apathetic you appear to be...your vitality is in jeopardy, your life, your soul are within & no matter how you think you may have detached them they are apart of you, hence where you go...they go.
When you dwell among the futile & partake in the ineffective do you not feel affected, lessened even, eventually reduced to their/that level?

I know we as women have a habit, a very bad habit of waiting, waiting until we are so tired & beat down & broken before we change a situation b/c we think this/that is all we deserve.
It does not have to be. It is not supposed to be. It should not be...this way.
We have so much power, it is a wonder we aren't ruling the world.
Enters our emotions, our co-dependency & our undefined worth.

Today, on today, I take back the control.
Not the control I think I have b/c I do what I want & say what I want.
The control of my mind & my destiny, for I know what I deserve & this shit ain't hardly it.
I know I'm better than & I'm no longer afraid to be, to have & to require such.

Be. Unfoolish. Know. Your. Worth.

~S. Parks

"Why is She Here, Ike?!"

*brought to you in part by "What's Love Got to do with it?!"

Have you ever wondered why certain people are in your lives, better yet how they got in, in the 1st damn place???

I don't wonder that often b/c I usually keep the same people in my life pretty consistently. Even in college I just wasn't prone to making new friends, maybe acquaintances but not new friends. I'm just super cautious about who comes into my life. However sometimes people slip in or even those that were in can really make you wonder how on earth you got involved w/such characters.

Sometimes I can go days or weeks w/o speaking to someone & they & even I will wonder why & I think it's b/c they have no real value in my life, like they serve no purpose. They're just here. Well who needs that??? I surely don't, but I'm a special case, so maybe you do. I'm just saying take a survey of the people in your life & really determine why is ______ here?! If the answer isn't beneficial for you, then I would say alleviate some of that dead weight in your life. Let me clarify that initial sentence there are people in your life who for you, whether you talk to them everyday or hell once a year, the frequency in conversation does not change that, then there are people who just exist & ultimately mean you no good, whether consciously or subconsciously, those are the people I'm referring to...the times in which you talk or visit or socialize have absolutely nothing to do w/their purpose in your life...I think I was referring thinking of the people that I communicate w/on the regular but it could also be those who I hardly speak or whatever...either way..."why is he/she here?!"

I know this will sound strange but again I'm a special case so bear with me...this probably has to do with the fact that I don't hardly not care about anything or anyone nor have any feelings @ the moment...Anyway, as of lately I have been telling people, friends or whatever they are, when we argue or disagree or what have you that if they feel as though our relationship, meaning the one they are in w/me is not conducive to their lifestyle or not beneficial to their well-being or takes away from their overall happiness, then I would recommend that they not be my friend, or maybe we should take a break, or not spend as much time together or whatever. As I read that I can see how asshole-ish it sounds, but that is sincerely not my intention. I'm being very honest when I say I know I'm quite much to take on & I'm not for everyone just as everyone is not for me. So I give that option of an out b/c I'm pretty much not gonna change for anyone except myself & Jesus so until then, if @ all, I'm just like deal w/it or don't! Lol, I say that SO much "either deal w/it or don't, honey"..."& if you're gonna deal w/it change your attitude about it!"

Hell if I keep coming w/this depressing ass posts you might wanna ask yourself that question about me, lol...again you have that out...b/c I'm pretty sure until I get up & outta this city or @ least get a decent job or start my business, these posts won't be too high life...I mean anything is possible, but I'm just letting you know now...maybe it's just today...I feel awful, yuck!

L8r tricks!

~S. Parks

I Confess...I'm a Swinger!

When I tell you I'm the moodiest person I know.
I think its b/c I'm super sensitive but I learned to turn that sensitivity into apathy but sometimes random shit will tick me off & then that same thing may not even shake me 2 days l8r or hell 2 days prior.
I know, I'm a strange character. I don't even know how people deal w/me sometimes, lol, here's the thing...I don't even care. Most times I don't like nobody anyways & those I do like if they left today I have convinced myself I'd be over it tomorrow. I swear I think I don't need anyone except Jesus (but Lord please don't turn this into a test & throw me out into the world by my lonesome, thanks!)!

I think text books call this: a defense mechanism.

Ahh higher education, surely does come in handy *rolls eyes*

Common sense: the more you grow...the more you know & the 1st step in the know is admission.
I've admitted & now I'm content.

Goodbye.

~Shanette the Great!
I'm still fabulous, flaws & all!
Deal w/it!

Permanently Blue.

Fact-I've been in love once & it may just be the only thing I regret in life...sure it's contributed to the person I am today, but I'm not so sure that the person I am today wouldn't be just as great as the person I would've been pre-"in love" & post-"heartbroken girl." Besides, I don't think I'm 1 of those people who believes it's better to have loved & loss than never loved @ all b/c frankly I think I'd be pretty fucking fabulous either way...I mean I'm just saying...

okay moving on...

Fact-I still love him & I'm certain I always will.

Fact-I'm not bitter...I'm jaded.

Fact-I miss him...but I can't quite recall why.

SO...today I was thinking about relationships & stuff & how when they are ending its like the seconds turn into hours & the days to months...the closing last soooo freaking long or so it seems, but technically only a day would've actually passed. Omg! I remember the exact moment I realized I was in love, lol, it was like an epiphany! I literally ran into the bathroom, put my head in a towel & cried & screamed (I knew there was no turning back)! It was a roller-coaster of emotions all wrapped into 1 single, solitary moment. Oh but when the walls came tumbling down around me & that feeling turned me into a prisoner, I wondered if I could 1st save me...btw-why as women do we always tend to blame ourselves when disaster strikes???...anyways, once I figured I wasn't the problem (well not entirely)...I tried to fix "us" & when that didn't work I tried to fix him. In all the unsuccessful fixing I was doing, I had no idea I was working alone. I was just so caught up, I couldn't see that there was nothing I could alone, to "save" whatever it was I was trying to save & in the process I was not only wasting time I was breaking down, running thin & making it worse. Ahhh the things we do for love...man, its crazy. I've been involved w/people before & after him, but I've never been willing to sacrifice myself for someone like that...so when I think of him I think not of the things he put me through but the things I put myself through & I realize I'll always be black & blue...for you, permanently...ugh!

Enjoy the song...I ♥ it...my post continues after the vid.

I hate to say I'm damaged...bruised sounds better, just like I hate to say I'm bitter...jaded sounds cooler.

What's cool about heartbreak? Not a fucking thing...except...the COMEBACK!

& trust me I'm a beast w/mines!

Ahh...but...there's a catch...

...I'm a beast who's scared of love.

Humph.

~Shanette Renea

(I'm certain I'll love again, but never will I sacrifice myself to do so...no one will ever get all of me again, it's just too dangerous besides I'm too cool for that...gotta keep some for yourself b/c trust me they ain't giving you all of them & if they are good for you b/c you have the upper-hand!)

Be! Patient. Love?

Post brought to you in part by Kanye West's Coldest Winter-808s & Heartbreak

Shouts out to all the people in love, y'all some suckas, lol, just playing!

Fa real though this post is for the people who aren't in love but have been in love...
Don't you sometimes ask yourself if you'll ever love again?
I was just thinking man its been like 5 years since I've been in love. I'm sure to some people that sounds sad & I guess it would be if I cared that much, but I don't, though I'm a special case so I'll try to speak a bit more general. I guess loving & losing is not an easy thing to deal with when you're really in love. When I was in love, it was the best place to be, but I never saw past it, hence when the future of not being in love became my present I couldn't deal & chose to remain in the past. Most people do it, they focus on the past in hopes of it reincarnating in the future, however 9 times out of 10, that does not happen. Either things get better or they get worse, but they don't remain the same that's for sure. Unfortunately for me they changed for the worse & I think I lost a little hope I had in the future, hence affecting my present.

What do I mean?
I mean I can't really open myself up to love today b/c of my past which is totally unfair to my future & whether I care to admit it or not I'm suffering, maybe not physically but definitely emotionally. Relationships are an aspect of life we need just like we need food & water. It makes us better, eventually. What people don't recognize is that in the toughest times, in your seemingly lowest moments, your worst days...you grow the most, you fight the hardest & you transform into a better you, if you use that time to your advantage. Every situation in life has its positives & its negatives. Of course initially its easiest to dwell on the negatives but its in the positives we discover who we are.

I've grown so much this year & I'm ready for a new & better Shanette in 2009, I'm ready...so if y'all ain't ready, get back, cus I put on...for myself, lol!

What am I saying?
I'm saying take all the seemingly negatives you experienced this year, make peace & let them go. Reflect on the positives & move forward. Laugh a lot. Live for you. & Love for Him.
Love for you too...I remember that when I loved more & hated less, omg, I was the best version of myself, real talk. I'm not saying go jump into love. I'm just saying don't turn your back on it, b/c in love we were created, its apart of us. We need love to live. Think about it. Try loving yourself if you haven't tried that thus far. Try loving God, simply b/c he first love you! Then maybe try loving someone else, in spite of...

Be open to the possibilities, it is in the openness you find opportunity.
Be patient with love, in patience you find peace.
Be you for in you, you find love & in love you find life!

While you can't be foolish, everyone plays the fool sometimes, @ least one time. Don't fight it, its inevitable, essential for living, good living!

Keep on living,

~Shanette Renea

Forever & a day...

I know, I know...its been a while...just haven't been in the mood to write...well really I've just been lazy! Shame, shame!!!

Anyways, let's see...there's so many things I have to get out of my head...but 1st I'll start w/something Novi had in her status last week, that I commented on & she asked me to elaborate on here...so here I go...

She said or quoted "you can close your eyes from the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart from the things you don't want to feel."

Now you know I disagree.
I definitely feel like you can control your emotions to a certain extent. Sure somethings just happen & you get caught up & feelings just rush over you like a tidal wave...but really how often does that happen...sounds more like an orgasm than falling in love anyways & actually I'd prefer the 1st as opposed to the latter.
Anyways, sometimes people create these fantasies in their heads & they play them out in real life & find that that shit they made up in their head ain't hardly not real. Its like you want something to be real so bad, you actually believe it is or it can be & that may or may not be true.
I mean what if its your mind talking rather than your heart...or frankly what if its your sex drive talking rather than your mind...& vice-versa. I mean how do you know when its really real??? That's why I keep my love locked down baby & when I say I keep it locked tight...its SUPER tight, Jesus prolly be looking for it every now & then (joking). I just don't believe people when they say you can't control the heart...it does what it does & I suppose those same people don't believe me when I say that I can & do control my shit ALL the time.

You know what I'm not anti-love...in fact I love is absolutely beautiful but in the wrong hands its deadly & I just can't have the vitality of life dependent upon whether someone can/can't control their feelings...so you know what I do the work myself...I work extra hard to control my own damn feelings. That way while you're off drop feelings like its bird shit on every one's soul, I've got the armor of God shielding that shit (you'll prolly get that l8r, ponder awhile)!

I'm just saying who can you trust these days...sure my soul, as Bey, would say is cold, but I'd rather it be cold than sold chile...& by sold I really mean stole...n...

When you trust others with your most prize possession like your soul or your heart & they get in your mind, well what else do you have left, how can you know what's real & fake, what's better or worse, what's right & wrong...when its time to give & when its time to GO!
Idk, & I'm still a work in progress, I guess as my trust grows in the Lord I won't be as concerned about man, b/c I know @ some point in life everyone lets someone down & that's just real but when you have Jesus, all that other stuff really don't matter. Of course we will still be hurt & disappointed & disgusted, but thank the Lord it won't be the end of the world!

All I'm saying is watch who you give your ♥ to, b/c they don't always give it back...

~S. Parks
(look Novi...I got trust & the heart thing all in 1...sweet!)

Ready or Not, Here I Come...25!!!

Guess I'm ready cus if I ain't it's a coming anyhow!
LOL!
Well guess what I ain't hardly ready (of course I blame Memphis), but Imma roll like I am.
I swear I didn't see 25 looking like this, but then again I didn't see yesterday looking like that so hey who's to say anymore...
I do know this though, 25 is something serious & I'm done playing, its either now or never & I can't do never...so looks like its NOW!
Watch out bitches I'm coming...the TAKEOVER!!!
Pray for me!


Happy Birthday Scorpios!
Give it to em hard!!!

In the words of Frankie, "Tyra Mail! Picture Me Rolling! HOLLA!"
LMAO!


XoXo,

Shanette Renea, all day!
;)
"Yo swag owe my swag everything!"

Cost Efficient.

Settling=convenient.

Quality=patience.

Convenience is usually cheap or (seemingly) affordable @ the time, while Quality is usually priceless.

Think about the above statements for a moment.

In a time when $$$ is more crucial than ever…let's not forget about our personal lives & well-being…they too have a price tag, that is self-determined.

So…when exactly is settling worth it???

I was thinking about that today. I was @ work, Banana, & I was talking w/a manager, Lisa, who commented on the pants I was wearing…"I like those pants, where'd you get em?" I said (b/c I clearly don't know how to take compliments that well) "I hate these pants, the color is awful!" She said, "well why'd you buy em?!" I said "b/c our pants are too expensive for me to have to order online, pay shipping & not be able to get my discount until they arrive…just impatient!" That made me think about how I do that so often…especially w/clothes…b/c I'm tall…I'm like really tall guys…& it kinda sucks sometimes…everyone thinks it's so gr8 b/c, well it kinda is + tall is really "in" right now…but it's not all cum & giggles. I have to search HIGH & low for pants that fit & are cute & not a fortune…same goes for shoes…just think for a minute how the possibilities for you are endless when buying shoes, like you don't even think about it really…if you like it & can buy it, you do so…well I know 9/10 I can never buy shit!!! SUCKS!

Anyways, back to the point, as a result of that misfortune, I sometimes settle for things, that don't really fit as well as they should, don't really compliment as well as I would like, not as cute as it could be, cost too much $ for what it is…but I settle anyhow, b/c I'd rather have something now as opposed to waiting for whatever I really want to come, for whatever reason. Thing is, is that really benefitting me…long-term? Or is it hurting me now? I know this is just clothes & shoes were talking, although both are like a super BIG deal to me, we can bring this to more real life situations.

Dating for instance, since that's a pretty common element of life.

Think about the times you've dated or even gone as far as committed to a relationship w/someone who was clearly not complimenting you. Let's be realistic, a relationship is supposed to be of benefit to both parties…where one lacks, the other sustains, vice versa, & where you both lack you both grown "together." I know that sounds idealistic, but it's the truth as to how you are supposed to think when dating someone. However, often times we found ourselves settling, for the right now as opposed to waiting for the "right one." Taking a moment to dissect the "right one," he/she is deemed right based on the individuals involved, it's not always about how a person looks…it's about the entire package, in & out. The "right one" is based on you, what you think is right for you & sometimes what you think is right, you'll find ain't always what it is…but it's good to learn what does & doesn't work before getting into more complicated situations, I think. Anyway, there are so many factors that play into the "right one" & timing, to me, is a BIG factor…let's take my own recent experience. "2nd chance" was seemingly perfect, but the timing was just off...I couldn't make it work & he couldn't make me...but I feel like if right is right, I wouldn't need to be forced I would want what was right...right?

You can pray for what you think is the "right one" & let's say you get him/her but not quite the way you had planned…it's like they're perfect except for one thing…one thing you can't seem to shake. Does that mean they are the one? Does that mean your prayer has been answered but just not the manner in which you'd hoped? Does that mean what you think you want is not what you need? Does that mean settle for what you can get b/c you're afraid of what else might come?

I'm not going to BS you; I really don't know…b/c sometimes settling ain't terrible, if it gets the job done, it just depends on whether or not the waiting would've been worth it. I'm really not in a complicated situation @ the moment. In fact mines is pretty simple (kinda) b/c I'm not emotionally involved, but it could get complicated if I allowed it to do such, but I won't. I know I'm settling & for now I deal…no I'm not really okay w/it, but hey that's life, sometimes we're involved in shit we don't wanna be involved in, but as long as you can get out, @ any moment, w/no love loss, then you're good. It's when you start to think that settling is your only option, that convenience becomes a problem. It's when you become deluded in thinking that your current situation is the best it can be, b/c it seems so right except for that one little (GIGANTIC) thing that you just can't seem to shake. Though my situation now is simple, the previous one w/"2^nd Chance" was not so much. The lack of communication & the ambiguity w/parties was recipe for disaster. It wasn't really settling or waiting on either parts, but it seemed as such. Now guess what "2^nd Chance" is engaged to be married…who's settling now…hmmm.

Have you settled for what looks/feels good right now, b/c for whatever reason, you're not willing to wait it out, for that "right one?"

Maybe you're just not ready…or you just aren't certain…or you can only do what you're doing, maybe it's just convenient to settle sometimes.

I know settling has such negative connotation, when we hear we automatically think well that person taking less than what they deserve, but maybe what they think they deserve isn't what they want…@ the moment.

Or.
Maybe I'm making excuses for the things we do…the things we do…as people…some strange shit sometimes.

Well do what you do, just make sure that what you do is nothing short of being you.

Never compromise who you are for someone else b/c I'm fairly certain they would NOT do the same for YOU!

~S. Parks

I don't settle b/c its fun I settle b/c it gets the job done. Real talk.

I blame Memphis.

System Overload!

I’m not loving you, way I wanted to.
What I had to do, had to run from you.
I’m in love w/you but the vibe is wrong & that haunted me all the way home.
So you never know, never never know, never know enough till it’s over love.
Till we lose control!
SYSTEM OVERLOAD!
Screaming NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
I’m not loving you, way I wanted to.
See I wanna move, but can’t escape from you.
So I keep it low, keep a secret cold.
So everybody else don’t have to know.
…
So keep your love locked down.
Your love locked down.
Now keep your love locked down.
…

You lose.

I’m not loving you way, I wanted to.
I can’t keep my cool so I keep it true.
I got something to lose. So I gotta move.
I can’t keep myself & still keep you too.
…

How many times did I tell you before it finally got through!

YOU LOSE!
You lose.
…
I’m not loving you way I wanted to…
No more wasting time, you can’t wait for life.
We’re just wasting time.
Where’s the finish line?
…
So keep your love locked down.
…
I’m not loving you way I wanted to.
Where I wanna go, I don’t need you.
I’ve been down this road too many times before.
I’m not loving you way I wanted to.

KEEP YOUR LOVE LOCKED DOWN!

You lose.

~S. Parks
Courtesy of Mr. Kanye West, the GREAT & my fave!
I couldn’t have said it better if I tried & I did try & I came up kinda short & harsh.

So this MY Reply to “Who’s Gonna Save My Soul”

(MY real Reply: Save your own damn soul!)