Possibilities...

Greatness.
The possibility of.
Fear.
Ever-present.
Change.
Is necessary.
Risks.
Are a given.
Success.
A matter of the mind.
Failure.
A matter of the mind.

It's a matter of choice whether fear overtakes the mind that changes because it's easier than being committed. Committed to the possibility of greatness. Greatness in being open to the possibility of failure. Failure goes without saying when it's a matter of the mind that chooses to not risk comfort for even the possibility of success. Success being indicative of growth-an intangible and personal change. Change the way mind sees risk. Risking the possibility of a moment of greatness for a lifetime of doubt, rooted in fear. Fear that what is real is a matter of the mind. Minding the heart is matter of honesty, a matter of courage, a matter of possibilities...

Until the Phone Rings...

This time it's different, this time I'm done...until the phone rings. But. That time was it, no more. No come...no more cumming over me with none...of that slick shit cus I'm done! Until that phone rings & I wonder...if...if it's him & what he wants & when there's no hesitation I know I was never. Done.

"No One that 'Lives' Alone is REALLY Happy"

Adam, my godson-who's 4, recently asked me to move in with him. When I politely declined, he insisted that I reconsider. I said (politely, of course) "I have my own home, Adam." To which, he replied "but you live alone, & no one that lives alone is really happy!" Initially I was a bit taken aback! I thought how does he even know to say that to me...AND how does he know I live ALONE?! I told his mom (my best friend) about it & we laughed a bit, then moved on.

That was at least a month ago...why am I still thinking about it?!

It literally just hit me (after a glass of...& a very long day) that lives in that precious statement means something else (to me, of course, not to him). It means: to have life,  as an organism; be alive; be capable of vital functions: all things that live. Imagine a 4-yr old making a statement so profound! 

Much obliged.

~SRJP

See: you for you...accept. love.
Be: thankful. giving. joyful...the rest will come. in due time. on-time.
Inspire: others. to do the same...their way.

As a woman...

As a woman, I should be able to cry without feeling insecure. Without feeling weak. As a woman, I shouldn't have to be strong to prove my strength. To prove my power. As a woman, I shouldn't have to define my sexuality based upon a man's point of view. Because as a man he has not a clue. As a woman, I should be able to be alone without feeling lonely. Without feeling the need of someone to hold me. As a woman, I should be able to love, love unconditionally. Love passionately. Love eagerly. Love, really. Really, love? That's what this is all about...b/c as a woman...the very thing I was created to do, as a woman, I don't know how to...

Out my mind? Again.

While the song is blasting...
Empowered.
Inspired.
Motivated.
Committed.
Changed.
When the music fades...
The thoughts return.
The breaths shorten.
The tears fall.
The hope fades.
The misery lingers.
In just 5 minutes. Or 60. Or 90. Or however long you decide to listen to that song. Those lyrics. That melody.
Shortly thereafter the thrill is gone...gone? Gone where?
Gone with the wind, but I'm sure that's not the end. For you will listen again. Deciding right then. "This, this right here is the LAST time the very last time that you will enter my mind, again!"
But the music can't play all day...

Be (stay) strong.



See. Be. Inspire.


XoXo


~SRJP

What a difference a day makes...

Have you ever really considered how much can be accomplished in a day? I know we get caught up in our mundane lives & we think time is forever. Hence we put off that which should be done today, for tomorrow-which I've learned isn't promised. My mother used to tell me that, actually she still does..."never put off til tomorrow what you can do today." Which prompted my blog post for today. Each & every day for months I've been saying I would post something, anything...MONTHS later, here I am...with quite a bit accomplished.

I bought a new car & moved into a new apartment. I think I've mentioned before how obsessed I am with the concept of new. That quickly fades when the newness becomes so overwhelmingly consuming. I love my new car & my new place, but they sometimes remind me that the life of an adult isn't all that! I'm also back in school...working on my Masters...which everyday I hate more & more! Word to the wise, after undergrad-keeping going, no pauses, no breaks...trust me it's better that way. However, I keep treading along in hopes of my hard-work paying off some fine day!

As we know life is no walk in the park & sometimes it takes a bit adversity to get us to the newness that I fancy so much! With each disappointment, failure, & challenge that life brings opportunities are created, characters built & pathways defined. Isn't that exciting? I mean really isn't it exciting to know that trouble doesn't last always?! Seriously. While in Paris last month, I realized that the happiness I want is happiness I must create. No one is selling happiness, it's not given away, it's not even earned...it's created. The life you think you want, is the life you must create, simple as that. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but it starts in your mind. When you think small, you limit yourself. This applies to love, finances, dreams, just life in general.

When I think of where I've been, where I am now, & where I want to be, yes I get a bit anxious, scared even, but that fear drives me, while the past reminds me, that I am a work in progress. The life I want is a constant, ever-changing journey. While I don't know what tomorrow holds, I do know who holds tomorrow & as long as I'm in line with that I'm okay with the rest.

Much of what we do stems from what we think & the rest is what we've been taught to think. Each day we should try to think a new thought to sort of deprogram our minds so to speak. Break that mundane mentality. Intercept that routine. Challenge those rituals. Dare to be different. Explore you. Be free to express the changes. Be better, each day. Try to be better than the day before & watch the difference each day makes. It's pretty awesome.

Keep in mind that whether you're ready or not, life goes on with or without you!


See. Be. Inspire.

XoXo
~SRJP

thank you & you're welcome pt. 2

An ode to exes:

Let me preface this by saying that I know everyone is different, but we're much more alike than we know, black/white, men/women, rich/poor. Hence I'm not comparing my exes. I'm honoring them for the lights they shined in my life during our stint(s) together. Everything isn't all bad guys. Clearly there were good times & though we aren't together anymore we have the option to not dwell on the negative & focus on the positive. Everyone likes to be appreciated whether the things were doing are part of the job or not...so even though some of you guys are jackasses, I managed to muster up a couple 'thank yous' for you as well.

Let's go:

Thank yous (b/c, for):

1) Your basketball shorts & over-sized tees. They bring me such comfort after a hard day's work.

2) Your arms. They made me feel safe.

3) Your chest. It made me feel like nothing else mattered.

4) Your $. Like coupons it saved me a ton!

5) Your deep voice. It made me tingle inside.

6) Respecting me. It made me appreciate being a woman.

7) Hearing me, listening to me & knowing the difference. It made me feel relevant, to you.

8) Considering my feelings. It made me feel important, to you.

9) Being my knight & shining armor, @ the time. It made me feel more like the princess that I am.

10) Your generosity. It made me recognize my worth & believe in it!

11) Most important, for showing me what I want in life, love & legacy (& what I don't). It made me realize this is not the end but only beginning of a life of love, something we all want!

***The great sex, I'm fortunate enough that all my past partners could put it DOWN in the bedroom-if nowhere else-& we all know how much of a sexual person I am, so that was important to me. It made me appreciate love-making.***

You're welcome for being allowed the privilege of being a component in my life. Your time spent has shaped & molded not only me, but more importantly you. To your future/current significant other, you're welcome, for that man that you have now, is significantly closer to being the man of your dreams, thanks to me! I would say thank you & come again, but unfortunately, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So we wish you well in all your future endeavors. God bless & be FAB!

♥

XoXo
~SRJP
*Slappy-Cookie-WifeyParks-Renea-T.O.*

It'll ALL Get BETTER with TIME!!!

*today's post is brought to by Leona Lewis"
I love how music can always make me feel either better or worse...no in between, but I just love that it relates to me...& yes I meant to type it that way...music relates to me I don't relate to it!

Anyway I have had a roller coaster of emotions this week. I'm exhausted from feeling! So literally broke down on Wednesday & cried my eyes out, in my closet, on my hands & knees-asking God to take it all from me. As soon as I said those words I wiped those tears, stopped feeling sorry for myself, took back the control in my life, & decided things don't have to be this way. I thanked God in advance for His undeniable & everlasting love.

I'd rather not delve into the things that were weighing me down but I will say this, none of it was worth it! I can't make anyone love me the way I think I should be loved. I can only love me the way I should be loved, according to the way God loves me-I just said something there...let's examine. I wonder how many people actually realize that w/o understanding God's love for us, we are forever lost. At the end of each day, all we want is love & happiness, Al Green clearly knows his stuff, guess that's why he came a reverend-okay off subject...back on...I'm just saying that we put so much of our hopes & aspirations into others b/c we know very little about ourselves, what were capable of & who we really are ( I guess this is a continuation of my last post).

Sometimes you just have to reach a certain limit in life where you literally say to yourself "I don't want to do this anymore." To me that means, "I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!" I looked in the mirror last night & I simply said Shanette, you are so much better than these piss-poor choices you've made, these people you're around, these situations you're in...I am certain that this is not my life hence I'm changing it! Yep, I am in control, so I'm changing my course...actually I'm getting back on course w/God's plan & I know it'll all get better with time. How do I know? That I'm destined for greatness & designed with a purpose?

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.


I know sometimes we like to take the easy way out. The cop out. The fear route. Well that's not the way. You have to go through a little something to really understand & appreciate that this thing is a journey, here to teach us lessons, to challenge us, to inspire us, to help us to help others, to leave a legacy, an imprint, a mark on the world. Now look at yourself, are you prepared today to leave your mark? What would your imprint be? Will anyone want to carry on your legacy? It's so easy for us to think that everything is all about us & our little problems are gigantic because they affect us greatly, but if we look around the world still goes on, so why not continue as we go on this journey with it's unexpected, unforeseen good and bad events...let's do it with some tenacity, some courage, some optimism & some style. I mean maybe, just maybe that will not only make it get better w/time, but be okay, today.

Be thankful, for what you have and what you don't...

Happy Friday Folks!

~srjp

You can STILL be who you wish you is-SATC 2 edition!

Lord, if you're listening & I know you are, here in lies my dream job...to be a wardrobe designer...for a movie, a runway show, a video even, regular folk, rich folk, poor folk...I want it all! Literally! I want to write books, own a boutique, start a magazine, back an accessories line, design a shoe line & run a non-profit!!! Yes! I want it all!!! All in FABulosity!!!

As I'm sure all of you know, SATC 2 (Sex & the City 2), is on it's way to the theatres...ask me if I can wait?! I feel like I can't but of course I will & clearly I am...I mean I have no choice! In the meantime, I'm reading every news article, watching every tv appearance, perusing every on-line photo, in anticipation for the BIG day!!! It will indeed be a big todo, we're (my chicas & I) are grabbing cocktails & hitting the theatre in a snazzy getup & making it a night!!! Guess WHAT!!! My look is together *the crowd gasp in pleased shock* Well, at least I think I do :) actually as I typed that I had a vision of something else to compliment it, but I probably won't make a fuss, so it's done! I'm going to see the midnight showing tonight and the "girls night soiree" tomorrow @ 6:30! Have I mentioned that I can hardly wait *bites nails-before I get my manicure this evening*!

You know I was watching the episodes, last night, (Season 6) & I just realized how much Carrie has not changed...in loving herself. I admire a lot of things about Carrie Bradshaw, but what I love is her unconditional love for herself! Men have come & gone, spats w/friends, job changes, etc...but all in all, Carrie never stops loving herself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a simple & silently confident way that's unoffensive, yet inspiring. In & out of relationships, she remains true to who she is, as an individual. I respect that! We can all take note of that, as we go through life. It's okay, in fact it's healthy, to make adjustments to one's appearance & even attitude. It's okay to take in constructive criticism & even harsh critiques, but at the end and the beginning of the day, you are already you, so be that person & be the best at it that you can be! For example, Carrie gives up smoking for Aidan, no easy task I'm sure, especially for Carrie, who lived with a cig in hand...BUT is the definition of Carrie, a smoker, I doubt it. Hence, giving up a small habit for a potentially, special person, that ultimately benefits self, isn't such a bad deal...maybe a little inconvenient but not wrong! Granted, sometimes there is a grey area & the line becomes a little unclear, but that's when you have to know yourself!
Who are YOU? With no make-up on, no fancy duds, no blackberry/i-phone, no botox, no implants, no weight gain/loss, no parents, no children, no right & no wrong...who are you on the inside...let's all hope that we're someone to remember, not so much for what we did but for who we were while doing it!

Do you remember when Ms. Bradshaw said this:
"…relationships. There are those that open you up to something new & exotic, those that are old & familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, & those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging & significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

Well, I won't include the preview for the new movie, b/c personally I'm sick of watching it-I'm just ready for the real thing!

This is a SN but a very important one:
You can't even begin to love someone else without loving yourself first and how do you love yourself, even on days you feel and look like crap-you remember that God loves you at your best and your worst! Why?! He made you-DUH! Therefore he knows who & whose you are! He also knows your destiny, so I'd advise you to trust him! It is impossible to love others unless you know, believe and receive God's love. 1 John 4:19 says, We love because he first loved us.

Have a FABulous day & enjoy the movie girls (& guys-I do know a few)!!!

XoXo-

SRJP

An Echoed Element of Freedom

So I'm not like a huge A. Keys fan but I did like her prior to her involvement w/Swiss Beatz, though I know were supposed to diasscoaite personal & professional lives of celebrities. I'm sorry it just doesn't work that...she dropped 3 notches in class level when she started that relationship. I also know you cant control who you love, but I do know you can control your actions, if you're a normally functioning human being.



Anyway...so not the point of this article. My agenda here was to attest to the greatness that is Alicia, musically. Now her previous albums have never been thoroughly dynamic. A few songs here, a couple tracks there, but nothing complete. However, this album, this Element of Freedom, absolutely INCREDIBLE!!! The music, the lyrics, the depth...I love it & it couldvery well be b/c I'm going through something right now, but in my opinion that makes it even better!

Check out "Like the Sea" & "Unthinkable!" (though the whole cd is hott-nice Summer nights music)



I've been planning to write this post for some time now, but y'all know how I can get lacksidasical. So I was listening to it morning, noon & night but as of lately I've transitioned to Leona Lewis' Echo'. Which I've clearly slept on, b/c I've had it for MONTHS!!! Craziness, right?! It is an awesome album currently my fave songs are Outta My Head & Can't Breathe! Her voice, her voice, undeniably unique, distinct & incredibly soothing. She's a very pretty girl too! She has a great sense of style too, so you know that really makes me love her!!!







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Happy Thursday boys & girls!!!
Remember to love God & yourself...everyone else will follow suit!

~SRJP

Live full. Die empty.

*brought to you in part by Mr. Les Brown*



If you died today, would you feel as though you have really lived & died w/no regrets? Not necessarily that you accomplished all your goals, b/c we're always setting new goals or that you wouldn't maybe do some things differently, but simply that you thought of today, this day as the day that the Lord has made & you rejoiced & were glad in it. You know I'm not like a big bible quoter, not that that's uncool, I just don't know it well enough, but I believe there is something in there about in all things be content, or something to that effect. I always wondered what that meant, like when I thought of contentment I thought negatively. I guess b/c it just kinda seems associated w/settling, but I have come to find that it simply means or I feel it means to be satisfied. In all that you do be satisfied with what you have done. Wake up & be satisfied that God is yet in control & as long as you do your apart then it will be a good day. Be satisfied in the moment...whatever that requires & if you are not then it is up to no one else but yourself to change that & while you are doing so be satisfied in that, but all the while give God His praise for satisfaction...for contentment.



take a moment & think about that



I know times are really really rough on so many levels. $$$ always puts a strain on things, even when you have it...it interferes w/so much & can damage relationships & ruin lives. However life STILL goes on...I say that all the time now...if you die today, I have to keep living tomorrow & vice-versa...I mean shit happens in life there is no avoiding that. It's about the way you handle it & what you do about it that counts. So I say in this time of despair & turmoil & uncertainty go for the gold, take a chance, live it out a dream. Why? B/c what do you have to lose? I mean honestly is shit is already bad, hell worse won't hurt so much but better would be just awesome. Think about your passion, your true desire & aspirations in life...jot them down or keep them in your mind, whatever works...its just then you write things down you are more likely to do them...but however you do it, just do it! The time is now, to LIVE not exist & to do so w/fullness.



Let us take the most tangible, visible, current example we have thus far...President Barack Obama.

A man against ALL odds made something happen that surely people thought wouldn't happen anytime soon if not never. No one knocked on this man's door & gave him any nominations nor elections. He fought for what he wanted. He took a risk. A HUGE risk. He whole-hearted set a goal & accomplished...you know what that was probably on half the goal...you can just tell when God is involved in something b/c things just fall into place & they look effortless, but guess what the work & the commitment has to be put forth & of course God will take care of his part. I'm sure President Obama faced several obstacles along the way & I'm certain there were days when he wanted to call it quits but each & everyday he kept fighting for what he believed & even if he failed, you cannot say he did not try. He lived. He lives. He succeeded. He succeeds.


I know how some people like to talk about timing & due season, but, how will you know if it is in fact your time if you aren't even trying? If you are not making an effort? If you're just setting goals & wishing they come true. Honey that's just not it, life nor God works like that...you have to set goals but follow through. Sure Obama tag line largely involved Hope, but hope w/o action is a waste & he's displaying just how hope + action=change. You can hope all day but if there is no action there is no progression. Even if there is rejection involved, again that's life, how will you know what is for you w/o knowing what is not?

I say go for it, that's what I say. I feel like the fulfillment & joy of doing what you love supersedes any amount of $...I know, I know I'm BIG on $ & I am, however $ will come & go but happiness is priceless & I would absolutely take happiness over $ any day (but Lord please give me both, lol)!

Anyways, I'm just saying take a chance...I don't know what it is you aspire to do, but just think of how simply taking a chance, whether you're "successful" or not, could be an inspiration to someone else to do something they've aspired to do. I don't know I'm just saying...live a little, even when times are seemingly dire...pray & live & be the best you, you can be!

Godspeed!
~Shanette Renea

Hungry for Life, Living in '09!

I don't usually do resolutions & goals & stuff, but hey maybe its time for a change!

So for the '09 here's some things I want & need to get done, settled, accomplished, completed, whathaveyou...:

• Get that credit in order!
• A new car-preferably a CTS, H3, LandRover, or G35
• A condo
• My degree & transcript in hand!
• A satisfying career
• A closer relationship w/God
• Read 20, @ the least, books this year
• Start on my own book
• Step my fashion game up 2 notches: buy a designer dress & designer shoes
• Travel more: CALI, NYC, CHI, NOLA, ATL, HOU, Jamaica, St. Thomas, oversees
• Blog more
• Love again, lol, I know, close your mouths.
• Prepare for medical school-yes I'm going!
• Save 5 stacks
• Pay my bills on time
• Lose 15 lbs.
• Pray & read the bible more
• Pamper myself more
• Curse less
• Okay, this is big, even BIGger than the love thing...I'm getting a weave! I know right-I'm so anti weave just like I'm anti-love...well I'm 25 honey & shit changes! I want long hair, don't care :-P lol!
• Stop wasting time on folk who don't matter.
• Take myself less seriously
• Laugh more
• Spend wisely
• Pay my tithes-faithfully
• Invest in properties-NOLA
• Maybe move out of town, I'm reevalutaing
• Listen to the Lord, all the time & let Him guide my path!

I'm hungry for life & ready to live again!

I'm SO ON @ 25 baby & this is going to be the best year yet!

'09 is SO very much MINE!

...saith the Lord!

CHURCH!

~S. Parks

Happy '09 tricks!

Better, Best, & Not so Greats of '08!

I never do these kinds of list, but I felt compelled b/c 2008 was definitely a notable year!

The 'Not So Gr8s', lets leave em in '08:

• The Recession



• the Auto-tune phenomenon



• Sarah Palin-I'm not impressed @ all!



• 2.8 mill jobs lost



• J-hud's personal losses



• not moving to NYC...I'll get there though, don't you worry!



• the term "h8rs", i think its whack



• the wars of the world



• stupid boys & sorry men, ugh! I'll pass!

Let us proceed w/the better/bests lists (in no particular order):

• Best comeback: Brit Brit Spears



• Toughest on the Grind: Lil Wayne



• Best New Artist: Jazmine Sullivan



• Hautest Celeb: Rihanna hands DOWN



• Fave Album(s): Beyonce-I Am...Sasha Fierce (The bitch brought it okay, not even being biased, cus y'all know I ♥ her), DK-Dollhouse, Ye-808s & Heartbreak (I'm being biased b/c it wasn't in my top faves, but he my nigga though so that's what that is), Lil Wayne-Carter iii



• Fave Songs: Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West-I Put On, T.I. feat Rihanna-Live Your Life, MIA-Paper Planes, Estelle-American Boy, Pink-So What



• Fave Movie(s): Sex & the City, The Dark Knight



• Fave Shows: Gossip Girls, Project Runway (I became a fan again, best & last season ever!), Fringe, The Hills, Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is (We ♥ you, Frankie! HOLLA!!!)



• Biggest Come-up: Solange, I like her.



• Fun Times: My #1s made it to their 1st birthdays!; The Summer w/KarmCharm; Quarter-Century Celebration; Banana memories



• MORE THAN A CONQUEROR: BARACK OBAMA, WE ARE HISTORY, BABY!!! I just want to say God is an awesome God, indeed...on so many levels I look @ this as a not only a racial victory, an American victory, a world victory even, but most importantly a spiritual win, this was God's plan...just look @ the race & look @ how the win played out, it was more than a win it was a slaying, a slaying of giants who thought they were just that giants, but giants can be slayed too, as they were & they feel hard! I love my God!
  


• Woman of the Year: Michelle Obama, its obvious she is the force behind the man, not only is she her own person in her own right, she is within him & he within her & you can see that in all of their interactions or even when they are apart...all this while rearing 2 lovely girls! She's beautiful b/c she's inspiring, she's intelligent & she's HAUTE! I ♥ it!!!
  
  

Oh & here's 1 wtf?! of '08 just as a reminder of the state of the world:

• A man had a baby (w/a 2nd on the way!)..."we living in the last days, baby!" ~My Gram

Whether it was good or bad, it was worth seeing & I thank God for allowing me to see yet another year, but frankly 09 is all the way mine. I've said it, I've claimed it & so it is saith the Lord! CHURCH! TABERNACLE! AMEN!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~S. Parks

Be! Patient. Love?

Post brought to you in part by Kanye West's Coldest Winter-808s & Heartbreak

Shouts out to all the people in love, y'all some suckas, lol, just playing!

Fa real though this post is for the people who aren't in love but have been in love...
Don't you sometimes ask yourself if you'll ever love again?
I was just thinking man its been like 5 years since I've been in love. I'm sure to some people that sounds sad & I guess it would be if I cared that much, but I don't, though I'm a special case so I'll try to speak a bit more general. I guess loving & losing is not an easy thing to deal with when you're really in love. When I was in love, it was the best place to be, but I never saw past it, hence when the future of not being in love became my present I couldn't deal & chose to remain in the past. Most people do it, they focus on the past in hopes of it reincarnating in the future, however 9 times out of 10, that does not happen. Either things get better or they get worse, but they don't remain the same that's for sure. Unfortunately for me they changed for the worse & I think I lost a little hope I had in the future, hence affecting my present.

What do I mean?
I mean I can't really open myself up to love today b/c of my past which is totally unfair to my future & whether I care to admit it or not I'm suffering, maybe not physically but definitely emotionally. Relationships are an aspect of life we need just like we need food & water. It makes us better, eventually. What people don't recognize is that in the toughest times, in your seemingly lowest moments, your worst days...you grow the most, you fight the hardest & you transform into a better you, if you use that time to your advantage. Every situation in life has its positives & its negatives. Of course initially its easiest to dwell on the negatives but its in the positives we discover who we are.

I've grown so much this year & I'm ready for a new & better Shanette in 2009, I'm ready...so if y'all ain't ready, get back, cus I put on...for myself, lol!

What am I saying?
I'm saying take all the seemingly negatives you experienced this year, make peace & let them go. Reflect on the positives & move forward. Laugh a lot. Live for you. & Love for Him.
Love for you too...I remember that when I loved more & hated less, omg, I was the best version of myself, real talk. I'm not saying go jump into love. I'm just saying don't turn your back on it, b/c in love we were created, its apart of us. We need love to live. Think about it. Try loving yourself if you haven't tried that thus far. Try loving God, simply b/c he first love you! Then maybe try loving someone else, in spite of...

Be open to the possibilities, it is in the openness you find opportunity.
Be patient with love, in patience you find peace.
Be you for in you, you find love & in love you find life!

While you can't be foolish, everyone plays the fool sometimes, @ least one time. Don't fight it, its inevitable, essential for living, good living!

Keep on living,

~Shanette Renea

System Overload!

I’m not loving you, way I wanted to.
What I had to do, had to run from you.
I’m in love w/you but the vibe is wrong & that haunted me all the way home.
So you never know, never never know, never know enough till it’s over love.
Till we lose control!
SYSTEM OVERLOAD!
Screaming NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
I’m not loving you, way I wanted to.
See I wanna move, but can’t escape from you.
So I keep it low, keep a secret cold.
So everybody else don’t have to know.
…
So keep your love locked down.
Your love locked down.
Now keep your love locked down.
…

You lose.

I’m not loving you way, I wanted to.
I can’t keep my cool so I keep it true.
I got something to lose. So I gotta move.
I can’t keep myself & still keep you too.
…

How many times did I tell you before it finally got through!

YOU LOSE!
You lose.
…
I’m not loving you way I wanted to…
No more wasting time, you can’t wait for life.
We’re just wasting time.
Where’s the finish line?
…
So keep your love locked down.
…
I’m not loving you way I wanted to.
Where I wanna go, I don’t need you.
I’ve been down this road too many times before.
I’m not loving you way I wanted to.

KEEP YOUR LOVE LOCKED DOWN!

You lose.

~S. Parks
Courtesy of Mr. Kanye West, the GREAT & my fave!
I couldn’t have said it better if I tried & I did try & I came up kinda short & harsh.

So this MY Reply to “Who’s Gonna Save My Soul”

(MY real Reply: Save your own damn soul!)

What are YOU Sowing?

Hey guys & gals,

Sorry I’ve been away for so long…I don’t really have an excuse…I just haven’t really felt like writing (or typing so to speak).

I’m back now though & that’s all that matters is the present, right? Right.
So the other day I was reading this month’s Ebony magazine w/Tyler Perry on the cover, a mag which I rarely read-btw, was surprisingly quite good overall.

I really enjoyed this particular article, "What are you Sowing," about Ms. Tasha Smith, best known for her role in his (Tyler Perry) movie Why Did I Get Married? Amongst other movies, as well as appearances on TV shows like Tyra Banks’ ANTM, she’s the chick who kinda always seems to have a really fucked up attitude (in the characters she portrays).

Anyways, in this article she talks about how she was that girl who always had a bad attitude, that girl who’s always getting into it w/people & blaming them for the confrontations, that girl who always thinks she’s right & ain’t tryna hear shit nobody got to say…until she did some re-evaluating, some self-discovery & found that she was the problem. The energy she was putting out there was in turn manifesting itself in her life & how others treated her…how ironic huh?! I think that’s what they call karma.

Basically she was reaping what she was sowing? All that negative energy she was displacing was bouncing right back onto her w/o even realizing it…her unhappiness, her inability to forgive, to let go & let God was inhibiting her growth, her progression, her destiny. Not until she took responsibility for her own actions & moved beyond her hurt & forgave & forgot those who had wronged her in the past, did she move forward & become the success she is today. She found self-love…the key ingredient to being happy…it starts from within! The contentment she sought after & confusingly mistook for something she could find in things or other people, was within herself all along. She then began to spread that joy, just b/c it made her feel good to make others feel great & so the cycle continues…

That article was all too familiar to me b/c I was, still kinda am that girl.
I was once known to have a wretched attitude, it isn’t the best as of yet, but it has come a long way, but I can see myself reverting to my old habits, my old mentality, my old attitude b/c of situations or things that I seemingly can’t control?

It’s hard to see beyond the obvious sometimes, by that I mean, as human beings we waver in our faith, in our commitment to our promises, in our ability to remain steadfast in what we know to be the means for greatness. We like to shortcut, to blame, to forget who we are...in God...what we’re capable of & the power we possess! We sometimes let the world, society & even the company we keep, dictate how we view our lives, as it should/shouldn’t be. We falsely base our happiness on what we can see & touch vs. what we believe & how we feel.

I know I am a work in progress & as I rapidly approach the BIG 2 5, I’m reminding myself daily that just b/c I can’t see my success, I still have to see my success. I have to believe it to be so & live as such. Being unhappy until… Being bitter until… Being temperamental until… I’ll never make it past the until…I will always be waiting, allowing myself to get in the way of my destiny!

That can’t be my life, that’s not the life I had planned! That’s not the life I’ve worked hard for! Most importantly that’s not the life that God wants for me, that he has for me & that’s the only thing that keeps me focused!

If I’ve learned anything in my time in Memphis it’s that life doesn’t always work the way we would like it, but it’s better when we roll w/it & do it w/a smile, otherwise you’ll be miserable forever & I’m far too fly to be miserable, makes you age fast & die young & I’ve got too much to do w/my life, how about you?!

So my advice would be (if this @ all applies to you in some form or fashion), fake it till you make it…I’m not saying don’t be you b/c you know I’m a firm believer in the realness baby…like Plies says “I went to sleep real, woke up realer!” I’m just saying put out there what you want back, don’t be so judgmental, so critical, so arrogant, and so bitchy that you can’t recognize the next person’s swagger & how they can benefit you, that you can’t bless someone else that you can’t be pleasant, encourage others…recognizing greatness in others doesn’t negate your greatness, it makes you greater!

All I’m saying is the power is within…think it, feel it, speak it, do it!
…guess it’s about time I start taking my own advice…the hardest thing to do!
I can preach all day bay but can hardly follow the rules…I’m on it though…getting too old for the foolishness anyways!

Anywhoo…

Be Happy. Love you. Spread the love. & Give God the glory always & forever!

~Shanette R. Parks

Wal-greens Peppermints!

This has been the most unstable summer I’ve ever experienced in my 24 years of living.

It’s been just short of awful. Though I try not to complain, it’s difficult to not think about my situation as it is vs. what I think it should be.

It’s hard to grasp that I am still in such a “dead” place, when all I want to do is live.

I just want to be.
Free. Independent. Self-sufficient. &. Happy.
I wonder if that’s too much to want.
I think not.
I think there is so much more to my life than even I can’t imagine.

I’m so nervous about this 25th birthday that’s rapidly approaching in just shy of 2 months.
That alone is lighting a serious fire under my tail.

True…things could be worse…but to me this is pretty bad.
I can’t think of worse…for me though (but that's not say I wanna see any worse...Lord Have Mercy!!!).

I’m happy summer is coming to a close, but I’m disappointed I’m still in place I promised myself I would be gone from by this time. Clearly God has other plans. Or maybe I’m not being very cooperative on my end. Whatever the case…I’m seriously on my shit from now until that fine day.

At this point I will go anywhere…do pretty much anything to get away from here.
I can’t really explain properly w/o sounding ungrateful or negative, how bad this sucks, or how miserable I am.

I know that I have a good life. I know that I am blessed. I know that I am rich.
If only my interpretation of success would align itself w/my current status…I might be okay.
If only I would appreciate more & complain less.
If only I would see now my life to come & subtract myself from the obvious…I might be okay.
All I can do is work harder. Stay focused & pray. That’s all I got.
Cus in a minute I’ll be in somebody’s mental institution.

I should probably go back to the library. Feed my mind. Organize my thoughts. Write more. Get a handle on the things I want, need, & must do in order to be where I need to be. There is a lot that I need to work on w/myself…so I guess while I have plenty of time…I’ll do me & eat my Walgreens peppermints…they & God & idiot-Karmen have helped me cope w/my Summertime Blues!

I know life ain’t always easy. I know this b/c mine has been far from such. I motivate myself by saying my future life has to be great b/c this current & past life has surely been a rough one…my strength amazes me sometimes…God amazes me all the time!

On that note…enjoy the rest of your summer & I’ll try to do the same.

BE. FREE.

~S. Parks

Haute/Not!

I stole this idea from the good folks over @ Chic & Untroubled!

Its like a list of what's in/out...

So I made my own list...cus you know my motto...I'm haute, you bitches ain't hardly cool! :)

Aight...so...let start w/NOT or Not so much:

1. antm...as much as i ♥ eva-diva & a few other winners (& contestants)...antm is so not haute...anymore...give up the ghost tyra!




2. having babies & getting married...what is this 1945?! (celebs included)




3. jesse jackson-gtfoh sir & all u other uncle tom muthafuckas...there's a new sheriff in town...i'll tell u about him l8r (ref:haute list #5)!




4. this weather! GOTSDAYUM!!! Its hot as fuck outside!!! Go away Summer-come back another day!




5. & last but def not least MEMPHIS-Lord help me on today & every other I reside in this DUMP!!!

Honorable mention-& even this hurts my (invisible) feelings, Beyonce'-yes boo...you thru (not really-we just need a break), now go sit down...we'll miss u though, come back to us in 5!
btw-is Solo aka Solange on the up & up??? Hmmm...

YAY-Hautes-I'm better @ these:

1. the cw-yep i stole it-i couldn't not! They are on the come up-i'm anxiously awaiting September & all my oldies but goodies that shall return & all the new shit poppin...well 90210 is not really new, now is it? "stylista", seems cool though, i'll give it a go, in spite of tyra-she gets on my nerves-but i can't knock her hustle.




2. RIH-RIH!!! Okay. Isn't obvious, she's so on the up & up. This bitch's style is raw & that's all I got to say about that! (oh I like her songs too-sometimes-lol)




3. yellow-its fun, its warm (in hue), its haute....buy you some-if you're afraid-start slow w/nail polish (my nails are actually lime green today...oooh YUMMY!




4. colored pumps...i'm telling u wear a different, random even, colored pump w/your suit (i'm talking to girls, obviously) & watch that bitch work. head turner! oooow!




5. OBAMA-& that's all I gots to say about that-you better act like u knew!
   

*Honorable mention-boys who aren't afraid of girls like me...i love it!
**Honorable mention ii-blue-i've never been into blue, but i swear its making a serious comeback...like cobalt...not navy though...it washes me out. (& purple's back too-i still likey...my Mom's fav color ever in life!!! She LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS it!!!)

So anyways, that my list...hope you're hauter than not, if not, do something about it!!!

Enjoy the rest of your haute ass summer :)

Cya

"I'm ain't kinda haute; I'm sauna!"
~WeezyF.Baby/The Carter iii

~Sdotter always making it hauter!

The Word for YOU, on Today!

"Don't let the world ... squeeze you into its own mould." Romans 12:2 PHP

Take Charge of Your Life!

Do you feel like you no longer control your own life? Like life's running you instead of you running it? That's because you're in the passenger seat, conforming to people, events and circumstances. They're in the driver's seat, not you. No wonder your frustration level is high and your contentment level is low. "Don't let the world ... squeeze you into its own mould." If you're feeling, "squeezed," you've two options.

(a) Remain a conformer, or become a transformer. Either choose to stay in the passenger seat, or get behind the wheel. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" (Rom 12:2 NKJV). Instead be transformed into the proactive, faith-driven person God meant you to be. (b) Take charge of your life by "renewing your mind." Instead of struggling to change the people and circumstances around you, change how you think and what you tell yourself. The Greek word for renewing means "to align your thoughts with God's." Abandon those self-defeating thoughts that tell you "you're not, you can't, and you'll never be able to." God says: "You are, you can, and you certainly will be able to," because of His indwelling power! John writes, "This is the victory that conquers the world - our faith" (1Jn 5:4 NCV). Go to God's Word! Discover what He says about the things that intimidate and control you, then pull the plug on them. The Word for you today is: "Don't be afraid ... I am your God. I will make you strong ... I will support you" (Isa 41:10 NCV). Align your thoughts with God's thoughts. Get into the driver's seat and take charge of your life!

"Its In Your Mouth!"

Bishop Donald Hilliard
You are snared by the words of your mouth; You are taken by the words of your mouth. Proverbs 6:2 (NKJV) Your breakthrough is in your mouth! There are some areas in all of our lives that have been dry for a long time. You might be reading this and your marriage is dry. Perhaps your relationships are dry. Your financial situation is dry. Your health is bad. Your mind is troubled. Your emotions are shattered. Or your nerves are on edge. But God is saying if you are going to be delivered, if change is going to come, if revival is going to come, it's in your mouth. It's not up to God. It is up to you. What do you say about it? What do you say about the situation you are in? You can prophesy your own destruction or you can declare that you will live and not die. You can declare that health is yours. Prosperity is yours. Joy is yours. You can prophesy that your marriage will work. You will get that job. You will get whatever God has in store for you. No devil in hell can stop it. God said it, so declare it. Your victory is in your mouth. Precious Savior, I am in a situation in which it appears that there is no hope. I'm pressed on every side; everything seems to be falling apart in my life. But I thank you for the power of declaration. Your word says that I am snared by the words of my mouth. I am taken by the words of my mouth. Your word also says that whatever things I ask for when I pray, I should believe that I receive them, and I will have them. Father, I believe your word because your word is true. I therefore declare boldly that I will have all that you have for me, my situation will turn around, my outlook is bright,and I will live and not die. My future is bright because I trust in you!

Amen.

(We all need a little upliftment from time to time...actually I need everyday w/the kind of summer I'm having but fortunately I'm a strong believer in what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger...so I reckon I'm as tuff as I come off, lol!)

Good day folks,

Shanette