Settling=convenient.
Quality=patience.
Convenience is usually cheap or (seemingly) affordable @ the time, while Quality is usually priceless.
Think about the above statements for a moment.
In a time when $$$ is more crucial than ever…let's not forget about our personal lives & well-being…they too have a price tag, that is self-determined.
So…when exactly is settling worth it???
I was thinking about that today. I was @ work, Banana, & I was talking w/a manager, Lisa, who commented on the pants I was wearing…"I like those pants, where'd you get em?" I said (b/c I clearly don't know how to take compliments that well) "I hate these pants, the color is awful!" She said, "well why'd you buy em?!" I said "b/c our pants are too expensive for me to have to order online, pay shipping & not be able to get my discount until they arrive…just impatient!" That made me think about how I do that so often…especially w/clothes…b/c I'm tall…I'm like really tall guys…& it kinda sucks sometimes…everyone thinks it's so gr8 b/c, well it kinda is + tall is really "in" right now…but it's not all cum & giggles. I have to search HIGH & low for pants that fit & are cute & not a fortune…same goes for shoes…just think for a minute how the possibilities for you are endless when buying shoes, like you don't even think about it really…if you like it & can buy it, you do so…well I know 9/10 I can never buy shit!!! SUCKS!
Anyways, back to the point, as a result of that misfortune, I sometimes settle for things, that don't really fit as well as they should, don't really compliment as well as I would like, not as cute as it could be, cost too much $ for what it is…but I settle anyhow, b/c I'd rather have something now as opposed to waiting for whatever I really want to come, for whatever reason. Thing is, is that really benefitting me…long-term? Or is it hurting me now? I know this is just clothes & shoes were talking, although both are like a super BIG deal to me, we can bring this to more real life situations.
Dating for instance, since that's a pretty common element of life.
Think about the times you've dated or even gone as far as committed to a relationship w/someone who was clearly not complimenting you. Let's be realistic, a relationship is supposed to be of benefit to both parties…where one lacks, the other sustains, vice versa, & where you both lack you both grown "together." I know that sounds idealistic, but it's the truth as to how you are supposed to think when dating someone. However, often times we found ourselves settling, for the right now as opposed to waiting for the "right one." Taking a moment to dissect the "right one," he/she is deemed right based on the individuals involved, it's not always about how a person looks…it's about the entire package, in & out. The "right one" is based on you, what you think is right for you & sometimes what you think is right, you'll find ain't always what it is…but it's good to learn what does & doesn't work before getting into more complicated situations, I think. Anyway, there are so many factors that play into the "right one" & timing, to me, is a BIG factor…let's take my own recent experience. "2nd chance" was seemingly perfect, but the timing was just off...I couldn't make it work & he couldn't make me...but I feel like if right is right, I wouldn't need to be forced I would want what was right...right?
You can pray for what you think is the "right one" & let's say you get him/her but not quite the way you had planned…it's like they're perfect except for one thing…one thing you can't seem to shake. Does that mean they are the one? Does that mean your prayer has been answered but just not the manner in which you'd hoped? Does that mean what you think you want is not what you need? Does that mean settle for what you can get b/c you're afraid of what else might come?
I'm not going to BS you; I really don't know…b/c sometimes settling ain't terrible, if it gets the job done, it just depends on whether or not the waiting would've been worth it. I'm really not in a complicated situation @ the moment. In fact mines is pretty simple (kinda) b/c I'm not emotionally involved, but it could get complicated if I allowed it to do such, but I won't. I know I'm settling & for now I deal…no I'm not really okay w/it, but hey that's life, sometimes we're involved in shit we don't wanna be involved in, but as long as you can get out, @ any moment, w/no love loss, then you're good. It's when you start to think that settling is your only option, that convenience becomes a problem. It's when you become deluded in thinking that your current situation is the best it can be, b/c it seems so right except for that one little (GIGANTIC) thing that you just can't seem to shake. Though my situation now is simple, the previous one w/"2nd Chance" was not so much. The lack of communication & the ambiguity w/parties was recipe for disaster. It wasn't really settling or waiting on either parts, but it seemed as such. Now guess what "2nd Chance" is engaged to be married…who's settling now…hmmm.
Have you settled for what looks/feels good right now, b/c for whatever reason, you're not willing to wait it out, for that "right one?"
Maybe you're just not ready…or you just aren't certain…or you can only do what you're doing, maybe it's just convenient to settle sometimes.
I know settling has such negative connotation, when we hear we automatically think well that person taking less than what they deserve, but maybe what they think they deserve isn't what they want…@ the moment.
Or.
Maybe I'm making excuses for the things we do…the things we do…as people…some strange shit sometimes.
Well do what you do, just make sure that what you do is nothing short of being you.
Never compromise who you are for someone else b/c I'm fairly certain they would NOT do the same for YOU!
~S. Parks
I don't settle b/c its fun I settle b/c it gets the job done. Real talk.
I blame Memphis.
