Listen UP!

So...you guys recall how I was telling you "J.O." was tuhrippin! Well he finally man'ed up and told me he couldn't cut it...it was either hisself or me. I guess. He fig he needed himself more. HUMPH! I was a little po'ed yet amused...weird I know! But hey...what could I do @ this point?! Nothing! SO...I said "I respect your honesty; I appreciate your time (btw-he sent me off w/a stellar performance-think he did that shit on purpose-BITCH!); I wish you the best in all your future endeavors...Good day and good riddance." So...needless to say I have no one to fornicate with @ the moment *sighs*...Iunno. Iunjusno what Imma do...be (involuntarily) abstinent again. I guess. *sighs*
DAYUM! I hate MEMPHIS & Memphis boys! YUCK!!!
Its prolly for the best--not really but it seems like the appropriate thing to say...

Anywhoo..I know this is the Listen Up post...and today's song is Comeback by ya girl, KelsRow from the Miss Kelly album-a pretty good look btw-I mean for her that is. So the reason behind today's post is nothing short of me tooting my own horn but w/validity.

No more than 24 hrs. later "J.O." texts/im's me "What are you doing?" Me: "WHAT AM I DOING??? Huh bruh?! Thought I was cut off?! J.O., Get ya shit together homie! Fa Real!" Actually I ignored his ass! Fuck you nigga! You were doing better when you were rationing...but its cool I always knew you couldn't resist...most can't errbody comeback when they realize they've had the best-I mean that in all sincerity.

However! I'm shutting that shit D O W N!!! This is NOT "Comeback Central" I've already discussed this shit! In case you missed that post. Here's my stance on the 'Comeback Syndrome'...It's NOT haute to be in/out folk lives like you just what it is. Now don't get me wrong "J.O." has that OOOH WEEE! But. Yeah. No. All WHACK NIGGAS...FALL BACK...and this song's for YOU...THANKS! BITCHES!!! HAHA!!! ...and I ♥ it!
Wonder if he'll make contact again...hmmm...what you think?
Yeah. Me too! LOL! Umph!
Okay. Enuff of that.
Lemme get to the song...
Comeback. Kelly Rowland. Miss Kelly.
Enjoy...


[Chorus:]
I got that comeback
That hubba bubba
I got the run back
Run back and tell you mother
I throw the RA-RA
on them put it all the way down
I got a lifetime warranty
Guaranteed
You'll never leave

[verse 1:]
Warning
Beware, handle with care
If you're lucky
There's a chance you'll make it there
This is serious
Girls like me is so rare

One's that put that on him, put that on him
Put that, put that, put that on him

[verse 2:]
Now I know what I'm doing
Whatchu gon' do with this?
I'll let you catch a feeling
With just a little bit
Don't wanna rush into it
And catch a sugar fit

Once I put that on him, put that on him
Put that, put that, put that on him

[chorus:]
I got that comeback
The hubba bubba
I got the run back
Run back and tell you mother
I throw the RA-RA
on them put it all the way down
I got a lifetime warranty
Guaranteed
You'll never leave

[verse 3:]
Caution
Keep away from open flames
Cause it's hot hot hot
Fire marshals can't contain it
You'll need rehab
Cus this thing is so addictive

When you put that on her
Put that on her,
Put that, put that, put that on her


[verse 4:]
Now having lines with pleasure
You're now too close behind
I won't give you directions
You better read the signs
I'll reach my destination
You better fall in line

Once I put that on him, put that on him
Put that, put that, put that on him

[chorus:]
I got that comeback
The hubba bubba
I got the run back
Run back and tell you mother
I throw the RA-RA
on them put it all the way down
I got a lifetime warranty
Guaranteed
You'll never leave

[bridge:]
Don't ask me questions of what
you thinking what I'm 'bout to do
Don't get all clingy on me
after i'm finished with you
I'll let you taste this honey
But you better have a clue
Or I ain't coming back to you

[chorus:]
I got that comeback
The hubba bubba
I got the run back
Run back and tell you mother
I throw the RA-RA
on them put it go all the way down
I got a lifetime warranty
Guaranteed
You'll never leave

[finale:]
consider this a round trip
You can go away now, but you gonna return
consider this a round trip
You can go away now, but you gonna return
Return to me

Once I put that on him
Put that, put that, put that on him

Hey!

I feel...INSPIRED again...YAY!

I got my swag back!
Whoo Hooo!!!

My BFF got a new job and I just felt so happy for her!
It made me feel SO inspired!
So I'm back beeyotches!
*and the crowd goes wild*

POB!
~Sdot Parks

Iunno. Iunjusno.

So...today's post is brought to you in part by...duh dunh dunh *insert royal music*
The Randomness that is Sdot Parks! *and the crowd goes wild*

I was thinking...

When you like someone. How do you know exactly?
Does it feel the same way every time???
I don't think so.

I was thinking...

Is it really possible to have sex w/a "friend" & still remain just friends???
Like even if all the details are discussed pre-intimacy.
Or even be on the same level of friendship you were pre-discussion.
I'm starting not to think so.

I was thinking...

How much of your emotions can you can control w/o missing out (wtf that means)???
Like is it possible to say "okay, I don't want to go this route" ???
I think so...but others think I'm just too tuff.

I was thinking...

How many boys can you like @ one time, before being termed a "hoe" or acking like a "nigga"???
What are the qualifications of a hoe??? (Not that I'm tryna be one...I'm jus saying.) Though sometimes I feel like one...when boys just want to (for lack of a better word) fuck me!
What's that about???
I think the answer is relative.

I was thinking...

What the hell am I doing w/my life man? I swear Idunno!
I mean. Like. I really don't know.
Lord please intervene!

I was thinking...

Am I obsessed w/my weight b/c I want to be healthy or b/c I'm insecure?
Or both?
I wonder...
Will I ever be satisfied w/the way who I am, physically???
Iunno. Iunjusno.

I was thinking...

I'm nervous that I'll never find "the one".
Is there a one??? Or is that a fairy tale???
I'm nervous that I will not get married but I'll be okay w/that...or...will I???
Iunno. Iunjusno.

I was thinking...

Is sex overrated???
Or underrated???
I think its relative.
I like sex...like a lot!
...and I'm okay w/that.


I was thinking...

How much time do I really have to get my life together???
Like I wish I had a deadline...you know...that way I could plan.
Guess that's life...unpredictable...gotta plan for the unseen!
I mean that's just me. Iunnno. Iunjusno.

I was thinking...

You don't really have to like anyone, you know...its like an option, right?
Right.
I mean.
Who really knows anybody???
Like sometimes I wonder.
Why do I even have friends?
Them bitches don't love me.
But then I reminisce.
...but Iunno. Iunjusno!

I was thinking...

What if I fell in love in again???
Would it be better?
Would it be worth it?
Would I be happy?
Would I be satisfied?
Would he be "the one"???
When? How? Who? Why? What?
Iunno. Iunjusno.

I was thinking...

I'm pretty fucking awesome!
I think I'm like the best thing since well, hey Jesus.
I mean somebody said Elvis (yes I'm from Memphis & its Elvis week--UUGH! *rolls eyes*) was like the best thing since Jesus so hey why can't I be???
Okay, no really. I don't think that.
However. I do think I'm pretty fucking awesome.
I just need to fig. out how to channel the damn shit!
Hmmm...Lord please intervene. I surrender! I surrender ALL!

Get yo self together Sdot Parks...as you know...the world waits for no one!!!

Harder. Better. Faster. STRONGER!!!

And on that note...I'm blowing...this bitch!

Buzzing & all...

My most random post to date...
So...do y'all think differently of me???
SO! Iun care...well I kinda do...but I mean hey...who doesn't?!
Whoever says they don't care what folk think is either:
Full of that shit or on that cooked crack!
Thanks.

Glad you stopped in for a lil qt w/the homie Sdot
As you know...I does what I can!
...and right now I can go to sleep so...
Though I've had insomina for like a week..hopefully this chardonnay will help.
...that or that good ole Vitaman D ; ) good for the mind, body, & soul! YEAYUH!

POB!!!

~Sdot

Take Off Your Cool.

My cool??? No sir. Unh uh. NO! *sighs* Okay. Maybe. A little. Dayum! Man I am trippin like muthafuckin Amerie. Hence today's post is brought to you in part by Amerie's One Thing from the Touch album. As well as Outkast-3000 & Norah Jones-Take Off Your Cool-The Love Below.


My head. My mind. My thougts. My feelings. My body. My actions.
How did YOU get here???
Get out. Go away! AAARRRGGGHHH!
How did I get here? Right here. Right now.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Not this soon.
WTF is happening to me?!
I'm trippin. I'm slippin.

I realized. Yesterday. That I may be in a tad bit deeper than I'm prepared for @ this moment, in time, of my life.
You know like that level of deep when you're like "Hey, I'm under under (yeah like Chris Rock)." No I'm under that shit. Like, I can't hardly see nothing.
Like an out of body experience...have you ever had one of those...you know where... Self goes out of You and looks @ You like: "Hey man, what the fuck is going on here?!" And then you look back at Self like "Ohhhh shit!"-lol, Cable Guy.

I'm anxious. Skeptical. Not ready. A little scared-yeah I get scared bitches!
I feel good and bad @ the same time.
You know?
Like. I wanna be here. Just not now. I wanna do this. Just not today.
I mean don't get me wrong. I like "2nd chance" Clearly I do. I just don't want to. Just not now.
I know-I know. (Bets-voice in my head) I can't be tuff all my life. Its not about being tuff.
I really just don't wanna. I just don't wanna! Why...you ask...b/c I DON'T! Damnit!

Gotdamn boys. Make me stupid-not literally-more like dumbfounded.
You know?
Vision gets cloudy. When they're in sight.
Right now? Just not right now. Man. Just not right now.*sighs*
I am on ME. Right now. Money. Moving. School. Careers. Money. ME. Money. ME. Right now!
Not boys. Not like that. Its gone too far.
How did I get here man?! How?!?!?!

This is how I know I'm In Too Deep, like Omar Epps.
Chatting w/Princess Ash. About Southern Heritage Classic.
She suggests I ask him to come.
I was actually excited. Surprisingly.
Here's the background on that:
I am not BIG on the whole meeting thing. It makes me feel pressured.
I just don't like pressure. Pressure makes me angry rather than motivated.
Weird? Yeah. Prolly. I'm weird.
So anyhoo...
I have never introduced any boyfriend to anyone that mattered.
Is that weird? I've been told it is. However. I'm not sure.
Actually I've only had 2 boyfriends...them other folk were just passing thru...though they thought...they mattered...the poor things...never stood a chance. I was actually wanting everyone to meet the last one-but that was a long distance thing-and turns out-it wasn't worth it anyways...oh well...his lost *mumbles bitch* ( : D No I'm not bitter actually I'm quite delighted w/the way things have turned out )
Anyhoo...so yeah back to "2nd chance"
We talked yesterday. I called. All geeked to ask him about The Classic.
Only to be shot D O W N *insert 3 sad & 1 pissed emoction*
So. He says. "Moms 60th birthday is that Thursday and I'm going up there (NJ) for the weekend. We're having a big party for her-Saturday." I was like "Oh. Um. Ok. That's fine." I was really thinking "gotdamn you AND yo mama!" He was like " You mad?" Me-"Me? Naw. Well Yeah. Kinda. But I'll get over it. No choice. Right? Unless...(yeah I'm in too deep) you come the weekend before...Labor day weekend." Him-"You know I'm going to MIA...remember???" Me-"Unh huh. Yes. I recall. Humph. Well so much for that. My friends are going to be disappointed. I don't even want to tell them. *sighs*" Him-"Well I can come another time. I didn't know. Don't penalize me. What do you want me to do?" Me-"Nothing. Good day."
****end conversation****

*sighs*
See. Self-"That's what you get for getting excited. Shame on you. You know better!"
How man?! How the fuck did I get here?! Not like Deborah Cox ...Get Here b/c I ain't got that far...but I'm a little further than I would prefer to be. Right now. On today.
This is real situation. Man.

The distance. SUX! So hard!
I think its making me think about him more. Or is it?
I would prefer us be in the same city.
So that I can know if my feelings are real.
See.
I don't just fa real talk to anyone else @ the moment b/c I don't even oblige 'Memphis boys' w/my time.
Awful? So. I no care. I no like them! Eww-no thanks!
So. If I were in St. Louis.
Where I kinda slick might have other boos...I could really see what's goings on! Fa real, Fa real!
Or.
Am I just making up shit to avoid the real...hmmm...Kinda sounds that way huh...prolly so. Yeah.
Though.
The distance really is becoming a problem for me.

Monday.
I kinda wanna see him.
Tuesday.
Maybe not so much.
Wednesday.
Let's have lunch.
Thursday.
Now I'm going nutz!
Friday-Sunday.
Ugh. Nevermind. Why even bother?!

Sidenote: Au contraire. I've been doing really well about expressing my feelings w/him b/c he's always like "you are so hard, but I know you wanna be free!" Uh. Sir. Shet up. Yudunno me! He's like "You can take off your cool w/me!" Lol-that always makes me laugh-he's so lame-->a good lame though.
Good enuff that I might consider kinda. A little bit. Taking Off My Cool.

So...yeah. I mean. Idunno. Can you tell I'm confused though? Prolly so. I'm babbling. I know.
That's how I talk when I'm out of my element. Either that or not @ all.
In this case I need a release.

Speaking of release this is SO off subject but not:
What in the hell is goings on with "J.O."?! He is on that BS! Its been a whole week and some change since...we...you know.
He stay talking bout. He ti'ed. He outta town. Or just "NO!"
Can we say BITCH?! Ugh! Man up nigga! Man up! Either you iz or you aint!
But don't be rationing yo shit out like I'm a gotdamn salvage!
See.
Here's his issue: This young man has fallen in love (or should I say lust).
Pity. Tuff. Boo hoo.
That's yo bad. Nigga. We had a verbal agreement up front. Now that you catching feelings from who knows where, b/c I ain't thrown a gotdamn thing. You wanna bitch UP. Well that's cool, BITCH! I would just prefer you be man enuff to say. "Hey. This has gotten out of hand. I am no longer going to be able to be involved on this level w/o this, that, and thus happening." In turn. I will be pissed but kindly say. "Thank you, kindly for your honesty. Your time & of course your outstanding effort! It has been most appreciated. We can remain friends. Good day & Be coo. Its been real!" But NOOOOOOO! This is his whining ass: "Man. I can't do this shit. Man. You are so heartless. Man. This shit is for the birds. Man. I need to leave you alone. Man. I think I'm falling for you. Man. I don't know what to do w/you. Man. Imma stop fucking w/yo ass b/c you only care about YOU!" Me-"MAN...or lack there of-shet yo bitch ass up! Get wit or get lost nigga! B/c all that other shit you talkin' is irrela!!!"

UGH! WHACK NIGGAS-Kill yoself!!!-->Ye's words, not mine...but I love em! Of course!

Then. I have this oh so persistent friend who is...uh...you know what...nevermind. I don't wanna. @ least not today. You have so much already. & I'm ti'ed! So...that's a wrap!

*sighs*
I am strongly considering joining a convent, becoming a monk, or running away...whicj sounds better to you???

Or maybe I'll be abstinent again and take yoga...a good exchange? No? Maybe?

*sighs*
Ah. Well. Until we blog again...

Be you!
The best you, you can be!
Why?
B/c you all you got!

P.O.B.

~Sdot Parks!

I feel so...uninspired.

I have nothing.

...nothing to say that is.

Sawry.

I mean there are things I could make up or randomly "babble" (I guess to say that my other commentary is legit) about...but...I'd rather not.

So...until...we blog again...

Be real.

Be you.

Its all that matters.

Well to me @ least.

Good day, bishes!
~Sdot Parks